Wrapper:  Brazilian Mata Fina, Ecuadorian Connecticut

Binder: Brazilian

Filler: Nicaraguan

Size: 6 x 54

Body: Medium/Full

Price: $9.00

When the package arrived and I opened it, I almost had to slap the back of my head to adjust my eyes to what I was seeing…..An intense barber pole wrappered cigar with bright blue bands on them. It was as if a clown car had parked in my living room.

But being a big fan of Kendall, I realized there is subtext here. He wouldn’t make a ridiculous looking cigar for frivolous reasons. And that subtext is clear; this cigar harkens back to another time. The days of the carny. I’m guessing that Kendall has some boyhood horror in which he was held captive for days by demented clowns who smoked cigars. Or something like that.

In this case, the Mata Fina wrapper is the base wrapper. The Ecuadorian wrapper is a thin strip of wrapper draped over the stick in a twisty sort of way.

Construction is good. Maybe too good. It’s as solid as a rock. Not looking forward to any draw problems. There is a nice little pigtail at the cap. And while there are some veins, they are inconsequential. There is a bit of an oiliness to the wrapper. As the cigar is smoked to conclusion, my fears of a tough draw are unfounded. It draws beautifully.

I did some sniffing around….some impressive coffee notes, hay, some intense dried fruit aroma, and some spiciness.

I cut the cap and light up…

Sweet tobaccy! Yeah. With a citrusy note. Creaminess. Coffee. Cocoa. Pepper.

This is a mighty fine start. Although, the char line is a little goofy. I fix it.

This blend is all about flavor. Immediate flavor. There is no gearing up or warming up. BAM! Flavor! In your lap from the starting light. And this is my favorite size. 6 x 54. Any ring gauge over 54 gags me and reminds me of the 30 years I spent in San Quentin.

The amalgam of flavors is just too damn ridiculous. It’s like being at a Pink Floyd Laser Show. Flavors shoot past your eyeballs at a gazillion miles per second until you realize the doob is doing that.

I can’t remember a cigar being this creamy, this fast…ever.

Now the price….Hmmm…$9. Is this a $9 stick or ain’t it? I say…..Yes it is. The norm for decent cigars seems to have morphed into the $9 netherworld as of late. Don’t know why…maybe a global conspiracy by cigar manufacturers, but a really decent stick is going to cost a minimum of $9.

The burn line just won’t stay fixed. And then it corrects itself. This cigar is a vicious bitch.

The end of the first third introduces you to the blender’s intent. All the main flavors are presented to you in a nice orderly fashion. You realize immediately that this is a quality cigar. And you have a hell of a good time finding this out.

Cocoa and coffee lead the charge as it approaches the halfway point so I grab my Diet Coke for my Egg Cream (Chocolate Soda) experience. Each swig sends a big wallop of cocoa towards my palate.

At the halfway point, the body is in lock step with its body being medium in strength.

But the addition of some red pepper kicks in from the tip of my tongue to the back of my throat. A nice tickling sensation at this point.

I had beaten myself silly when purchasing this cigar about quantity. A 5 pack or a box?

It is a silly looking cigar. But it is a Kendall cigar. I went with the 5 pack and left my options open. Now I’m realizing that I will have to go back and buy more of these.

Smoke pours through the foot. And the flavors become more complex. I give up on keeping the char line nice. It meanders off on its own and then returns to formation.

Now here is the crazy part. I took a chance on this stick. I only received them in the mail yesterday.  What are the odds that a stick, in this cold weather, would be ready to review in 24 hours? I don’t know.

I’m deep into the last third and just impressed as hell. I don’t need to recoup the flavors I’ve mentioned previously. They are still here and nothing has been added or taken away.

The cigar is now a Mensch. It’s Yiddish. Look it up.

As the cigar begins to nub, I find a smile on my puss. I took a chance on a not cheap cigar and was rewarded handsomely. Kendall is now developing a stable of cigars that is his resume’. He is struttin’ his stuff like a rooster in the hen yard. He is saying, “Check me out!” And he deserves every bit of back slapping his friends can dish out. And a couple sexy hens on the side for good luck.

And now for something completely different:

Now this is a really bizarre event in my life…yes, it’s about drugs; but nonexistent drugs.

Let me take you down…..1979. I was 29 and the tenant improvement superintendent of a large mall renovation in Orange, CA.

The job was soon coming to a close and the 7 or 8 people still on the job were pretty close as a group.

One Monday, Sheila (let’s call her that), told me she had gone sky diving. Sheila was in her late 40’s which seemed old to me at 29. She was kind of dumpy and housewifey looking.

Her husband was the CFO for Tishman Construction California. I knew him very well.

As a result of Sheila’s jump, I went a few weeks later and started my long drawn out stretch to the land of being disabled.

I used to sit in Sheila’s office and listen to her. At first the conversation was normal, but then it sunk into something unsavory. She whined…she pissed and moaned and it never ended. She complained about her marriage. Her husband was a good looking man and Sheila….well, was Sheila.

I visited her husband in the hospital after some minor surgery to his arm. He started doing the same thing. Oh lord.

I really had had it. I made a big effort to stay away from them. But one morning, Sheila called me into her office, crying.

I plopped myself on to the chair opposing her desk. I could feel my eyes roll up.

And then all I heard was blah, blah, blah. Complaining about her marriage ad nauseum. She kept asking me if she should seek out therapy or meds.

I finally blurted out, “Well maybe you should just go out and buy some heroin for all the good that therapy and anti-depressants will help.”

And with that, I got up and left.

Never underestimate the fury of a pissed off woman.

She called her husband, who was still in the hospital under the influence of pain killers; and told him that I tried to sell her heroin.

A couple days later, I noticed my boss looking at me strangely. Watching me. A day or so after that, the BIG boss came out from Westwood in L.A. to talk to me.

The boss was an old family friend and he questioned me without ever telling me what the questioning was really about.

I was confused over that hour of interrogation. I didn’t know what he wanted from me.

He finally ended it and said he was satisfied but, “Phil. I don’t want to ever catch you doing this again!!”

“Do WHAT again?” He never turned around and headed for his car.

I sauntered into my boss’ office in the work trailer. My chin hit my chest and told my boss I thought my career was over but I didn’t know why.

So he told me why.

I fucking exploded.

HEROIN!!??

I ran over to the construction office and began yelling at Sheila. I got on the phone and began yelling at her husband.

Everyone apologized to me. And I told them all to go take a hike.

I guess it was karma on my part. Everyone was embarrassed in my presence because of the horrible accusation started by an unstable woman and passed on to a man full of pain killers and then to the Big Cheese of the company.

I learned then, that your co-workers are not your friends no matter how it may seem. At one time, they will turn on you and use your own words against you. Never fails.

Now, back to lighting up a cigar.

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS