Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano

Binder: Nicaraguan

Filler: Nicaraguan

Size: 5 x 50 Robusto

Body: Full

Price: $4.50-$5.00

Asylum 13 is one of three that launched Asylum Cigars around at the 2012 IPCPR Trade Show.  Christian Eiroa of Camacho fame partnered with Tom Lazuka and Kevin Baxter to produce this line. The 13 was designed to be the strongest of the bunch.

Construction is good but there are a lot of veins. Seams are tight. And it looks like a triple cap but seems hard to believe on such an inexpensive stick. There is a gorgeous oily sheen with some lovely toothiness.

I sniff around and get my Nicaraguan requisite of cocoa…there is some spiciness to it. And a bit of hay and barnyard.

I clip and light up…

There is a blast of pepper on light up…And smoke pours from the foot. The draw is flawless. The char line is pretty good but give it time and it should sharpen up nicely.

I am now getting notes of that cocoa and cedar. The cigar starts off well balanced and very earthy. Nice. I have reviewed several of Eiroa’s new blends and will put links to them at the end of this review.

Before an inch is burned, the stick gets gooey creamy. Diet Coke.

This is a very pleasant cigar. I like the lower on the food chain blend of Asylum but this is better. The ash breaks off early. No nub stunts.

I’m getting a nice floral scent in the room. I wish my wife was here to confirm this.

I also bought some behemoth sized Asylum 13’s. Maybe 6 x 60. I don’t know what I was thinking. Those large sticks take so long to get to the G Spot. They are still marinating in my humidor and I got them 2 months before I got what I’m smoking for the review.

The stick maintains the Nicaraguan integrity of cocoa, creaminess, leather, and spice throughout the first third. The spice and leather is a good match. Ugh. Good Trade.

I find myself buying more robustos as of late. Which is a dichotomy as I have been able to buy bigger quantities of cigars thereby allowing the sticks to age properly. But a robusto gets to the meat of the matter quickly. I damn near threw away some Carrillo toros because they just won’t age properly. And speaking of Carrillo, I have become very disappointed in this line. It started out with a bang and is now whimpering along with its tail between its legs.

The blends are blah. The new blends are even more blah. And they ain’t cheap. I do like the Elenco….but that’s about it.

Real shame about their direction….nowhere.

The second third opens up with a more complex mixture of flavors. No new ones…just a touch of finesse has been added.

The body is a strong medium. The cigar continues to be well balanced and this review needs some rock n roll dirty talk.

My partner in crime is a horn dog and always has been as long as I’ve known him…which is over 30 years.

Doing too much coke had something to do with that back then. But we were also at a premium level of appreciation of sex…and knew how to do it right.

One day, R asked if I wanted to go on a double date with him, his longtime girlfriend, and a hostess at the Marina del Rey restaurant his girlfriend worked at. He said she was very pretty.

Being the horn dog I am, I said yes and we went out for dinner and a rock club. These 3 were drinking like horses. I don’t drink and only managed to drink some because of the coke.

But I couldn’t keep up.

R suggested we go to my house in Long Beach…so we off we went. When we got there, we sat in the living room drinking. I sat next to the huge potted palm and kept throwing my shots or glasses of booze into the pot. I think I heard that poor plant reciting the words to Shawshank.

I’m at the halfway point with the cigar and it has mellowed a bit. The body is just perfect for my first cigar of the day. The flavors are oh so creamy and delectable. Eiroa really pulled the Nicaragua from the soil on this one.

R grabs his girlfriend and goes into my spare bedroom. My chick, Becca, grabbed me by the hand and we were off to my bedroom. Now my house was a bachelor pad. No doors on the bedrooms. Why? I have no fucking idea.

So now I’m doing my thing with Becca and I can hear R and his woman arguing. Next thing I knew, R was standing next to me bed, smiling, and watching. I looked up and said, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just watching.”

“Oh. OK. ??”

His girlfriend yelled his name to come back.

Now I was coked up, had booze in me and there was no way I could get a hard on. So my little blonde with the big boobs whipped around and did the nasty oral on me which now put a smile on my puss. R came running back into my room. More screams from his girlfriend.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just watching.”

“Oh. OK. ??”

Finally, we were able to consummate our biblical relationship and sure as shit, there was R standing next to the bed. He started to climb into bed while calling his girlfriend’s name and I got up off the bed, pointed towards the door and said, “Get out!!!”

His shoulders were hunched and he had a long face, like Sarah Jessica Parker.

At some point near the end of our love making, Becca started talking about school. I went with it. “What college do you go to?”

“I don’t. I’m a sophomore in high school.”

&^GHE###$*L___%$#@#$&)_)*%#@&()))!!!!!!!

I leaped off the bed and ran into the other bedroom where they were still arguing.

“How fucking old is this broad?” They shook their heads.

I went back to my bedroom. “How old are you?”

“15.”

(*^#$(*^$%&***&^%#$^)__)*^%$##@@!!!!!!!!

I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. “I’m going to prison. I’m 31.”

“And I’m pretty. My asshole will look like a Skippy peanut butter jar.”

As I pass the halfway point, the cigar’s strength really ramps up. The flavors are the same and nothing has changed drastically. But what is apparent, is that this is a damn fine cigar that cost $5. It is way underpriced based on market value. It’s better than sticks at twice the cost.

I get dressed, the whole time cursing. I tell Becca to get dressed. We are leaving and I am taking her home.

R has no ride home and I leave him at my house without a ride. Fuck ‘em.

On the way back to Culver City, we talk and she is a very nice girl and I explain what happened. She tells me, “I didn’t know that.” Oy gevalt.

She tells me her father is 38. 7 years older than me. So I do the right thing. When I get to the corner of her block, I shove her out and say, “Really great time. Hope to see you again. Bye.”

The car’s tires screeched as I turned it around in the middle of the intersection and head home. I have words for R.

The last third is a pleasure of Nicaraguan delights. The combo of flavors is just perfect. The creaminess and the cocoa are fantastic. I wish I had the words to really explain how good this is.

So in summary, I say that you have no excuse for not trying this cigar. It is inexpensive and everywhere. Go get ‘em tiger!

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS