Wrapper: Brazilian
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5.5 x 55 “Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $5.00

It’s a dark and stormy day. I sit in the darkened dining room, facing a big window…and I watch as sheets of rain pummel the window…from the outside of course. If we are lucky, we won’t flood out in the basement…but the house is old. And it’s always a crap shoot. So….I have no sunlight for my photos. Please excuse my results.

This is, by far, my favorite CAO blend. And now that it is in a box press has completely intrigued me.

As usual, the band is gorgeous but now it has a second, lower, band that enhances the beautification process. The Brazilian wrapper surpasses dark brown and wants to be black. There is a gorgeous oily sheen. A bit of toothiness. Seams are locked solid. There are a lot of spider veins. And the rounded cap is flawless. And the box press is perfect on all of the cigars. They are a perfect rectangle. I would need a micrometer to tell the difference.

I sniff and detect wood, cocoa, cherry, spice that makes my eyes water, cedar, hay, and leather.

I clip it and light up. The rectangular box press is always a bit trickier to light than a round or a square. When reviewing a cigar, you want a pretty burn line and you can screw it up oh so easily by not paying close attention to the flame on a rectangle.

The first puffs are cocoa. Actually, more like Cocoa Puffs because there is a treacly sweetness to it. A nice big dose of cedar and leather. And then the pepper does a dive bomb towards your sinuses. The draw is opening up.

The burn line goes horribly erratic in just minutes and I dial 911. I use a flame thrower to correct the burn and cross my fingers. As I only bought a 5 pack, I am not giving it the benefit of the doubt on my dime. I won’t go through one after another seeking the perfect char line. So, it is what it is.
The burn seems to have corrected itself nicely.

The main attraction of the Brazilia is its wrapper and its massive influx of chocolate. Very few cigars can match this component. And not be an infused cigar.

I am closing in on the end of the first third..most was wasted due to its burn issue. Creaminess jumps in and now we are talkin’. This is the second most important component to the cigar; the tandem of both cocoa and cream. A real dessert cigar without having to resort to an infused cigar.

The spice is in the background laying the groundwork for the deep earthiness about to show up. And here it is. Voila! As the second third arrives, the spiciness gets to Garcia proportions and the earthiness becomes rich and well balanced. The nuance of the richness makes it more than a candy bar with a band. The earthiness is there to remind me I am smoking a cigar with a superlative blend…a cigar, in which the blenders thought a lot about finesse. Not just cocoa and creaminess. This is not a newbie’s cigar. It becomes very complex that I think a newbie would not appreciate; not to mention the high power kick waiting for me.

The price point on this stick is just ridiculous. $5.00. Are you kidding me? I could name off a dozen New Breed cigars, which at twice the price, don’t match this blend. CAO really hit the nail on the head with this stick.

Up to now, the cigar has been a classic medium body. But as the halfway point mark is hit, the strength begins to develop into something stronger. So I put on my seat belt.
The creaminess is just outstanding. It most certainly drives the bus.

This new size is because CI wanted it so. Through my insider info, apparently, it is the most popular size that CI sells. So if you look around their catalog you will see this size but won’t find it anywhere else.

The last third is a helluva’ experience. There are ancillary flavors like wood, leather and cedar with a bit of raisin, but the creaminess and cocoa is why we buy this cigar.

And now for something completely different:

I hated playing for the Hell’s Angels. But they paid well, and often. And Todd Hart, who lived the life of a struggling musician, never said no to a paying gig. So when the HA’s made us their official Arizona band, well wasn’t that just fucking peachy?

Their toys for tots drive is the biggest scam since Bernie Madoff. It is only an excuse to have a really big hoe-down.

I wore a Blues Brothers type of coat which covered up my Glock 30 .45 cal gun I kept in a holster behind my back. I wasn’t going to die for lack of shooting back.

The Christmas thing was a big bash where the bikers collected loads of 25 cent toys and put them in burlap sacks where they ended up mostly broken.

They then hired a nice joint out in Scottsdale and did it up right. The band had to get there a bit early to set up and sound check.

Our families were invited as all their little Damien children would be there too. So my wife Charlotte, and daughter, Katie came with me. They had done a very nice job of decorating this expensive sport’s bar with a huge dining room in the back with a view of Superstition Mountain and desert.

We were standing there when the sound erupted. 500 Harley Davidsons came roaring to the restaurant. The earth actually shook and my daughter began to cry and said she wanted to go home. Me too. She was around 12 then.

I’ve never heard a sound like that except what I could imagine if I sat behind a 747 while it took off.
In between sets, the head honcho got up on the stage and called out numbers from the tickets handed to every person there when they entered. It was long and tedious and each break lasted an hour.

But here is the jaw breaker…this guy used the most foul language I’ve ever heard from a public speaker. Not only was it foul, it was dirty nasty. In front of all their children, this guy spoke about cunnilingus and giving head, etc. My wife took Katie outside. And they were trapped as it was a good hour from our house and we took one vehicle.

But at the rate, this was going, my wife preferred to leave and come back and get me rather than allow our daughter to hear this horrible diatribe this asshole was spewing.

I took a look into the huge box where all the toys were collected. It resembled a Chinese toy factory rejects. I’m not kidding when I say nothing in that box cost more than a buck. And for years, the HA’s were getting all sorts of props from the media for doing this. Probably due to the media was afraid to do anything else but report positively.

And since it is legal to wear a weapon openly, every single HA (and there were at least 500 men there.) wore a gun and a big knife. Every one. If an argument broke out, it was the Battle of the Bulge all over again.

After the gig, I told Todd I would never do another Hells Angel gig again. We argued for a bit and then I quit the band after two years of playing together.
C’est la Vie!

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS