Wrapper: 5 Year Aged Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Nicaraguan Jalapa 2016
Filler: Nicaraguan Seco & Viso Esteli 2018
Size: 7 x 44 Lonsdale
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $16.00

I have several sticks sent to me by LCC. So far, they show great potential. But the Hangry is ready to go. Aging, my dear readers, aging.

BACKGROUND:
Regular production and/or limited production.
From the Luxury Cigar Club website:
“Since its inception, Luxury Cigar Club has been focused on providing the absolute best cigar club experience as possible. We painstakingly work with brand owners, vendors, suppliers, brokers, distributors and brand representatives, so that we can deliver the best of the best to our family every single time.

“One of our favorite things to do is find new, or less known brands, that produce high quality, delicious and flavorful cigars to introduce to our Luxury Cigar Club family. During this search for diamonds in the rough we were made aware of a company called “Martinez Cigars”, out of New York City. We first heard rumors of how amazing the cigars being rolled in the heart of New York City are from a few of our Luxury Cigar Club members. We continued to hear about the cigars, and our interest was piqued. Finally, we learned that several of our LCC members would be headed to St. Louis for a Martinez cigar event, and our tickets were booked that same day.

“Meeting Dave, Christian, and the rest of the Martinez team felt like coming home for a Thanksgiving dinner, Just like a reunion with distant family, and the cigars,…ohhh man the cigars…they were amazing! That very same day in late October of 2020. Dave and I sat down and talked. One of the things that came out of that conversation is the reason for this letter.

“As I mentioned above Ben, Dave, Jesus, and myself have been working tirelessly on this blend, and the reason we are doing it Is to both showcase some of the amazing talent that exists right here in the USA, and to offer something to our friends and members that is unique…and produced with them in mind. Jesus, the master blender and owner at Martinez Cigars. is the main reason for how delicious this cigar turned out. We are grateful to have the opportunity to work with a brilliant man like Jesus!

“So without further ado-
We are proud, happy, humbled, and blessed to announce the upcoming release of “Hangry” by Luxury Cigar Club, made 100% by hand in New York City by Martinez Cigars.
We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it!”

APPEARANCE:
Rustic is the word of the day for this cigar…it will probably be rustic tomorrow as well. The 5-year aged Mexican San Andrés wrapper is oily as a bucketful of eels. The mottled colors of café latte brown with black splotches scream out: “What? You couldn’t have used my Uncle Morty for painting these colors?”

This may be one of the toothiest cigars I’ve felt since my Bar Mitzvah in 1853. Veins are invading from Mars. The seams are clearly visible but uptight and outta sight. The cap is so perfectly executed that I am unable to count them. I’m guessing between 2-9 caps.

The Lonsdale is nicely filled and feels heavier in the hand than some much bigger cigars I’ve reviewed. I would name them, but those manufacturers reached out to me, gave me a bunch of money to sign an NDA to shut me up, and I gladly obeyed the cigar industry rigid rule of hypocrisy.

SMELL THE GLOVE:
The strongest aroma is barnyard. Every other aroma is faint but if you have a giant schnoz as I do, you too can find them…milk chocolate, creaminess, black pepper, a slight touch of floral, freshly baked pretzels, espresso, vanilla, blackberries, cedar, and caramel. Now do I have a giant schnoz, or what?

The draw is right on the money. I find that most skinny cigars have a plug in them somewhere, and as such, I must use my darling PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool to right the wrong the rollers perpetrated.

The cold draw presents flavors of espresso, milk chocolate, black pepper, pretzel, caramel, vanilla, and cedar.

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
The start bangs the gong. I close my eyes and see a T-Rex coming after me. Hallucinating dinosaurs is always a good sign.

Flavors fall in line with aromas I’ve outlined. The good stuff is in the gorgeous combo of tobacco. It is immediately complex. Transitions waste no time and begin their march towards Oklahoma. The extended aging makes this stick shine like a new penny stuck to a stripper’s ass.

The finish is the focal point. My tongue seeks out untouched corners of my mouth as it Hoovers up the flavors.
I haven’t smoked half an inch and this cigar is already screaming laughter.

Strength is medium+.

The burn line is Channing Tatum pretending he isn’t gay.
The burn is oh so slow. The draw remains upon a pedestal made of generic bologna and mayonnaise.

I had surgery on Monday the 2nd and by Friday the 6th, I had Covid. The new variant of BA-$$$-6. Hospitals are death traps. Why not combine the two miseries of surgery and the plague at the same time?

Super intense complexity now. Sail on sailor.

I’m barely into this cigar and I’m being pleasantly overwhelmed by truly passionate blending.

I had forgotten the price tag until just now. Bloody hell.
If you’re going to charge the going rate for a high premium, it better deliver…and the Hangry delivers big time. This is how a $16 should smoke right from the get-go.

The ‘I’m giggling like a little girl’ part is that the Lonsdale burns slowly and takes its ever-loving time to engage and not let go of your leg while it humps your appendage till you can’t tell red from green.
It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a cigar with the proper bona fides.

Not a flavor wheel. Not a flavor bomb. Not registered with the Communist Party. And not a sex toy. The over all bombshell is the melding of tobacco leaves in the same cigar.

This baby is going to last well over an hour. That is exactly what you want when you mortgage your wife and two of the kids to buy this cigar.

My palate adores this blend. It is as close to perfection as an alien race will allow.

Strength is an easy going medium/full. The ultra-smoothness wraps your genitals in a multi-layered stack of banana leaves. I hear a low hum that must be coming from my gills. You won’t see this side effect of the new variant discussed on cable news.

The intent of the blend never stops increasing the peace. Its upward trajectory is astounding. My junior high Ortho Gym teacher told me once that I astounded him.

I am a glutton for constant sips of water which releases flavors into my geriatric brain. This will be a great cigar for evening with a good whisky or power shots of tequila.

This is a perfect fucking cigar. No shit my dears…
It has the flawless joie de vivre for my palate. That is French for “Clean Pissoir.”

The most intriguing part of this story is that the cigar needs very little humidor time. It wants you bad and is willing to lie at your feet and whimper, “Take me you fool.”

The halfway point arrives at 35 minutes.

This is a good time to introduce the question and answer portion of the cigar review. I asked co-owner of LCC, Ben Rotem, to discuss cigars.
Q: Are you still a black ops guy with Mossad?
Ben: “I can certainly answer this for you, but I will have to kill you first.”

Q: Does your partner, Chris Doyle, know that you started in the tobacco biz by twirling a sign outside a CBD oil store?
Ben: “Chris does not, nor ever will find out about this privileged information I disclosed to you in confidence.”

Q: Applesauce or sour cream on your latkes?
Ben: “Ketchup.”

Q: Choose between the two bands: ABBA or Cher? Explain. And what is your favorite K-Pop band?
Ben: “Has to be ABBA, right? It’s the only band out of the two, and besides, I’m a huge Eurovision fanatic. As for K-pop, after asking a few people and a quick google search, I can safely say it is 메로나.”

Q: Your favorite cigar that you don’t sell.
Ben: “My favorite Cigar I don’t sell (yet) has to be the Eight Span Raven. Yes yes, shameless self-promotion. Other than that, I have a warm place in my heart for the Monte no.2.”
(I’ve deducted 2 cigar rating points for that answer.)

Q: Star Wars or Star Trek?
Ben: “Here you go again with the uber controversial line of questioning. I’m going to go with Star Trek: The Next Generation, but also with the original Star Wars 4,5 and 6, but also, I’m a sucker for anything with Harrison Ford.”

Q: Why did you not listen to your parents? Detailed explanation please.
Ben: “I was young and needed the money.”

Q: What puts the biggest smile on your face concerning cigars? Please refrain from canned answer.
Ben: “With the risk of it sounding like a canned answer, whenever I see or hear someone loving any of our cigars, especially “Choshi.” It makes me feel like a proud father.”

Q: Does Chris keep you in line? And, exactly, what Abu Ghraib tools does he use? And do you have a personal preference?
Ben: “Like in any good marriage, we keep each other in check. But mostly, we don’t keep each other in check at all. My favorite tool would have to be a potato peeler, but I cannot get too specific about this (see question #1).”

Thank you, Ben. Coincidentally, Pandora is playing Led Zep’s “Ramble On.”

The creaminess takes a huge step forward. If this blend continues on its vision quest of intensity and complexity, I cannot be responsible for the neighbor’s yapping dog’s longevity.

With still 3” to go, the strength touches the hem of full tilt.

Just like you, I’ve seen so many new releases in the same price territory as the Hangry. I’ve tasted a few and they don’t come close to the masterful blending of this cigar.

Everyone ready for the 2022 recession?

I was promised a reduction in the dollars I give to LCC for their sponsorship…if I give my first review of their proprietary cigars a spectacular rating. I done dood it.
Lucky for me, this cigar is monumental.

The Hangry matches the attack of the finest Casdagli blends.

Going to hit the mid 80’s today in Milwaukee. I will shave the cat after lunch. I bought a tiny barber chair on an S&M site.

The Hangry is an ideal stick for sophisticates and newbies alike.

The cigar ain’t cheap. But it is worth every dime. Just magnificent.
I nub the stick as it finishes out at one hour 15 minutes.

Get yours at Luxury Cigar Club. Do not forget to use promo code: Katman for 15% off your entire order.

RATING: 98

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS