Wrapper: Dominican Corojo
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Dominican, Nicaraguan
Length: 6.5 x 48 Belicoso
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $30.00
My cigars have been naked in my humidor for 2 months.
BACKGROUND:
From Luxury Cigar Club:
“Warped Cigars owner, Kyle Gellis, credits his father for developing his love of cigars. From an early age Kyle would pick out his father’s cigar, cut it, and listen to him talk about what he thought about the cigar in terms of construction, flavor, and vitola. This sparked a flame inside Kyle, creating what is now Warped Cigars.
“Kyle is a known fan of Cuban cigars, and this reflects in the profile of his portfolio. Don Reynaldo 70th pays homage to his father’s 70th year around the sun. This is the most Cuban-esque cigar in their portfolio, being hand rolled in Miami, Florida at El Titan de Bronze, in the traditional “entubado” style, with a durable triple cap.
“This hearty belicoso uses a Dominican Corojo wrapper, a Nicaraguan binder, and fillers from Nicaraguan and the Dominican Republic. Gellis says this cigar embodies the creaminess of Hoyo de Monterrey and the spice of Partagás.
“Only 1,000 boxes of 10 cigars were produced! Grab a single, box or 5 pack while you can!”
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Very distinct aroma of floral notes…as well as baked apple, hard to miss honey perfume, black licorice, black pepper, potent cedar, sweet paprika, and smoky oak.
The construction of the cap is beautiful. Not a visible seam.
Lawdy, I hope this cigar does not bowl me over. I’m acquiring a very bad habit of buying cigars I find profound in the middle of my review. At $30 a pop before promo code, I need to max out my Costco credit card. SBC sells them in packs of 3 or a pack of 10. LCC sells them by the single, 5 pack, and 10 pack…so you have some real options should this cigar prove to be prodigious.
The cigar is solid. Feels good. The draw is a tad tight but I will leave it alone. I see out of the corner of my eye that the PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool is flipping me off.
I should have pierced the belly of the beast with my PerfecDraw tool now that I’m huffing on the cigar. I insert the tool and withdraw a chunk of clog. Now we’re good.
Amazon Music. The Byrds station. I’m hooked on nostalgia.
The start is very mild. Almost Connie-like. Notes of creaminess, citrus, black pepper, grassiness, and graham cracker.
The blend quickly shifts. Strength is a solid medium. Rich notes of brown sugar, caramel, and baked apple wake the cigar up.
The description says this cigar has a medium/full strength profile. This stick is clearly starting with an easy-going profile. Fear and loathing will come soon. Growing up reading Hunter S. Thompson had a big impact on me. Gonzo.
Although, if I followed in his steps with the drugs and alcohol, I’d have croaked a long time ago.
The char line is sharp.
Lightly salted peanuts show up. The citrus is upped. Creaminess follows suit. The Savory v. Sweet balance is leaning heavily with a candy bar verve.
I’m now thinking the cigar needs extended humidor time. I’ve gotten used to smoking the last few Warped blends and being bitch slapped right out of the gate. This blend does not conform to that profile. It’s nice, but not exciting. The tell will occur when I hit the halfway point. The cigar will either disrobe and rub my face between its breasts or I goofed and reviewed it too soon.
Look, for a cigar that costs triple sawbucks, I expect immediate and spectacular complexity. Now, this is just a good $10 stick. Holy shit, my sponsors will not like this review. But the truth is the truth. I’m too old to bullshit.
I can taste some serious potential. I jerked the pony from its mother’s womb too early.
But I also saw an infinitely small group of reviews. The cigar has been on the market for 7 months. Only 1000 ten count boxes were released, and they are still plentiful online.
1-1/2” burned. 20 minutes.
The cigar needs to kick into turbo mode toot suite.
Strength remains at medium, but I sense a desire from the blend to make its move soon.
I should be swooning over this cigar by now. I’m losing sight of its potential. This cigar should have been monumental from the start…especially, since it was blended in the honor of Kyle Gellis’ father. Something went wrong.
I know that industry and other reviewers say to never consider the price when reviewing. Hogwash. I don’t know what they are thinking. If this was an $8 cigar, I’d be telling you it is a great go-to cigar for everyday use. But it ain’t an $8 cigar.
The blend swims in a pool of mediocrity.
Man, I love Warped. Gellis knows what he is doing. I am dazed and confused over the effects of this blend.
I don’t feel the love. This is a real bummer. You see Warped. You see $30. I was looking forward to this review.
I revel in my loyalty to my sponsors, and I feel bad that I’m reporting that this cigar is a pass. But if it was a great blend, it would have disappeared a while back. And the reviews would have been plentiful and singing its praises.
Creaminess, lemony, black pepper, lemon grass, graham cracker, and Wheatena. The baked apple is gone…so are the notes of the sweet side of the blend. It seems to have fallen into a deep hole of darkness.
2-1/2” burned. 30 minutes.
The cigar is waiting to be kick started. I’ve smoked enough cigars in my lifetime that I can recognize, with a reasonable amount of accuracy, a misstep in the blending process.
It’s not a bad cigar. Unfortunately, it is just an ordinary blend.
A review like this extricates every part of my funny bone and dumps it in the trash.
Sips of water bring out the tart citrus and creaminess, but that’s it.
I hit the halfway point and my expectations are low.
This is a real shame. And of course, I’m going to calculate the cost into the equation.
The Byrds station sucks. An omen.
Now, I’m just bored.
But according to Rule A-628-R in the Cigar Reviewers Union handbook, I must finish the cigar if I am to maintain my good standing. I think it is a waste of time. The cigar is lifeless.
Flavors and richness are dissipating quickly. All that is left is citrus, creaminess, and black pepper. No depth of field. No complexity. Transitions are zero sum. The finish is uninteresting.
Gellis should have scrapped this cigar, apologized to dad, and started again. At 70, what’s another year?
The cigar takes its time…so, there’s that.
Strength is medium/full.
The blend is linear. No forward momentum. Nothing to look at here, folks.
I will allow the cigar another 10 minutes and then decide if it is worth my time to continue. Be back soon.
2” to go. I’m done.
Bummer, Mr. Gellis.
RATING: 85
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
