Wrapper: Nicaraguan Criollo ‘98
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 6 x 52 Torpedo
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $11.26
My sticks have had 3-1/2 months of naked humidor time.
There is so much erroneous information out there that I’m not going to begin to sort it out. The leaf stats above are 100% correct. Some of this incorrect info found at online stores show about 3 different wrapper types. There is a Gold Birthday Blend but one site says it is installed in the 46-count box and is the Lucky Cigar. This is because it is the Shamash candle. (This is what the candle, in the middle of the Hanukkah candles, on a menorah is called). In fact, it is Andre Farkas’ 46th birthday. Other sites say that you could have bought an entire box of the Gold. Who knows? They’re gone. I don’t understand why when you go to the Viaje website, there is nothing more than a contact app. Nothing else.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Very aromatic…baking spices, floral notes, red pepper, vanilla, black pepper, cedar, and milk chocolate.
The cigar has a middleweight sense of heft. The draw is wide open. My PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool can remain asleep dreaming of someday being able to skirt its responsibilities and no longer be forced to wear a red rubber ball in its tiny mouth. Yeah, we’ll see.
I’m skeptical. I’ve smoked a couple during the day with food in my gut and the cigar did nothing for me. Not a good sign for this review. As I’ve always said, I have better luck first thing in the morning with an empty stomach. I’m sure there is a technical term for this other than dumb fuck but I have no point of reference to be more original.
The price is low for a special cigar. The leaf stats are vague…like my tax return. No mention of aged tobacco. I’m confused.
The cigar begins with a better starting point than the ones with my belly full. An excellent cigar should be able to long jump the food quandary. I’m sure that readers who don’t agree with my assessments have food in their bellies and the cigar I gave a great review just doesn’t rise to the challenge. Again, I’m confused. I forgot. The federal government has labeled me elderly. I get a pass.
The cigar is just OK. I do not detect any intelligence on this tubular planet. No hint of complexity on the way. No sense of a flavor bomb waiting to explode and run down my leg. What was Farkas thinking? This cigar sold out almost immediately upon release. I bet a lot of smokers are wondering the same as me…WTF? This is a special cigar celebrating a man’s 46th birthday; which by the way, who gives a fuck about being 46? It is child-like. I mean, really…Stay alive to 70 and then you can celebrate yourself.
My next question: Is this a cheap cigar that needs a year of humidor time? Well, that’s fucking stupid. By then, the man will be 47. Makes no sense to me…but neither does a Fleet enema.
The burn is uneven. It wasn’t even rolled by professionals. The previous two cigars had the same burn issues. Again, WTF?
Oh lord…”Stairway to Heaven.” Led Zep. Came out in 1971. I played in the greatest band of my life at that time. Five players that included a lead singer. But four of the 5 guys could sing lead so we could do the harmonious tunes of The Beatles, C,S,N,&Y, and others. We could dead nuts imitate Zep perfectly. We played Stairway at every fucking gig. It became the “Proud Mary” of the early 70’s.
The cigar. Creamy. Black pepper spicy. Pistachios. Panko breaded ferret spleen. Sauteed peyote buttons. Fried teabags. And ubiquitous trout testes.
Gonna be a long review. My apologies.
The char line is ridiculous. I don’t believe I saw any reviews of this cigar. Uh-huh, Uh-huh.
The cigar has no remnants of blender’s intent. A real dud. Why does Farkas make some spectacular cigar blends and then goes ahead and follows the lead of Rocky Patel with mediocre crap? Viaje has become so inconsistent that I just don’t know if I will buy another. I don’t care what birthday it is. Even if he puts out a 70th birthday blend…of course, I will be 100. It will be a treat for both of us…for different reasons.
1-1/2” burned. 20 minutes. Gawd. It is burning like petrified wood. This will take forever.
Oh, this is good. The lousy burn has just caused the wrapper near the char line to come apart. Yeah, I love the sound of me screaming in the morning.
But thankfully, the cigar tastes like used diapers. I mean nothing is approaching my palate that it recognizes as a cigar.
The cracked wrapper is quickly traveling up the venomous stick.
Farkas should be ashamed of himself. He ruined my morning. I wasted good money on a fucking fiver.
I’m going to bail.
The cigar has no self-confidence. Farkas must have been drunk when he approved this cigar for release. What a shit show.
Fuck this. I have better things to do with my time.
Viaje is crossed off my list.
RATING: 0
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
