Wrapper: Honduran Corojo
Binder: Honduran Corojo
Filler: Honduran Corojo
Size: 5 x 50 Robusto
Strength: Full
Price: $15.70
BACKGROUND:
From C.L.E. Cigar Company:
“A Honduran puro that was released in May 2019. The Eiroa Dark is made at our Aladino factory in Danlí Honduras; the blend is 100% Authentic Corojo that we grow on our farm. The wrapper is a very specific dark color Corojo that we get very limited quantities– the filler and binder are all Honduran Authentic Corojo consisting of ligero and seco aged a minimum of 4 years. The Eiroa Dark is going back to Christian’s roots in producing full body, full flavored cigars. ALL EIROA DARK ARE AVAILABLE IN 20-COUNT BOXES.
“Each meticulously crafted cigar pays tribute to the Eiroa family, a cigar brand with a legacy 100 years in the making. They come encased in unique lift-top boxes bound in a leather ribbon, paying homage to Christian Eiroa’s grandfather and his habit for keeping his cigar cache at the foot of his bed inside a trunk.”
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I don’t believe this cigar was received very well. I found only 3 written reviews of the cigar and they occurred within months of its initial release in 2019. And this includes Cigar Aficionado. Ratings were solid at 89-91. Only select online stores still sell this cigar…which I assume is a regular production cigar. I could not find any information that might indicate a limited-edition release 4 years ago and the balance of the cigars are still for sale. What a conundrum.
Regardless, the review must go on.
Aromas from the wrapper: baking spices, black pepper, dark chocolate, black coffee, barnyard, cedar, and malt.
I use my new PerfecPunch & Stand to open the cap. Yeah, Dr. Rod is my friend, but the man just happens to be a genius when it comes to cigar accessories. I don’t shill for shitty products. I do shill for products I highly approve of. This punch device is like nothing you’ve ever used. It is revolutionary as the blades are inside the punch instead of on the outside. Plus, the hardness and angle of the stainless steel blades are a design marvel.
The cigar is light. The draw is wide open. A quick cigar?
In days gone by, I would list all things I thought were important to a cigar review: appearance, draw flavors, long and winding road background, etc. The industry sites are good at this so there is no point in continuing that slog as I just don’t have the patience. Plus, I wonder how many folks even read those parts. Stats show that most smokers seek out the name of the cigar and then scroll right down to the rating and move on. The only ones reading that intensive analysis are cigar industry people. I don’t write for them. Things change between the vibrant age of 60 to the fakakta age of closing in on 74.
Light ‘er up…
I have Amazon Music on the Bonnie Rait station. And…it’s stuck. Fucking DirectTV.
I have no idea what year the cigar I am reviewing was produced. I bought a fiver from Small Batch Cigar and it doesn’t say.
Re-booted Amazon Music. Fucker better work right.
The cigar is drastically under filled. The draw is hot. Unless the cigar heals itself as it swells from the heat of burning, I will know exactly why the cigar faded into obscurity.
On the other hand, it tastes kind of good…(bad grammar). Industry reviewers are good writers and use perfect grammar. The thing I love about being an outsider is I can write the way I talk. So much easier on the stress level.
It’s fucking stuck again. I switch out to Pandora.
Creamy, dark chocolate, espresso, baking spices, malt, and black pepper. Nothing extraordinary happening.
Oh wait…this is a $15 cigar. Fuck me. It should be much better than what I’m experiencing. For a quick moment, I thought it was an $8 cigar.
The cigar is nice but has zero qualities I expect from a cigar at this price point.
Christian Eiroa fucked up with this blend. Too bad. (Not an industry reviewer. Freedom).
The burn is terrible. I do believe the cigar is getting lighter as I smoke it. My gut and experience tell me this cigar is a piece of shit. Shame on Christian. He should have known better. Maybe he was in a coma when he designed this blend. He better have a good excuse and I’d choose coma.
Torch to foot or this little motherfucker will be ruined in quick step time.
1” burned. 6 minutes. Ha. This Robusto is going to be a 25-minute cigar. I cannot believe the few industry reviewers gave this piece of drek scores of 89-91. Talk about sycophants. Wow.
Flavors disappear into the ether. There is no blender’s intent available. Zero complexity. Zero transitions. Not a whit of depth or richness. A turd of extraordinary proportions. I apologize to my sponsors that sell this rat bastard of a cigar. It is a poor excuse for a…
Luckily, it is burning like a cigarette. I hate lousy cigars that take forever to die.
Eiroa cigars are not consistent. Haven’t been in a long time. I wonder about manufacturers that think that their product is worthy of selling. Worthy of satisfying their fan base. What is going on in their heads? Do they even smoke what they sell? What a bizarre mystery.
Great. The cigar slows down. Fuck me in the ass with a used gerbil.
This cigar could be any $4 Torano blend. Or any $4 Partagas blend. Or any liquor store cigar that actually has no tobacco in it. It would make a perfect blunt. Just saying…
The Marshall Tucker Band. Long ago, I had a friend who played in the band. He was way cooler than me. I used to hang on to being cool with my fingernails.
The cigar is so under filled that all I taste is heat. Like sucking on a fireplace match.
$15. Oh lawdy. Eiroa is a pirate. Of course, when you are in a coma, your parrot sits next to you and sings songs by ABBA. I’d never want to wake up. I’d pull the plug on myself.
I’m going to finish this cigar just so I can write stupid things.
I’m falling apart. I was just diagnosed with senile purpura. It means the skin on my forearms just opens and bleeds like a stuck pig. I thought I had leukemia. I don’t. So now you have me for several more years. Sorry.
Halfway through this shitty excuse for a tampon. 17 minutes.
I must have a dirty filthy story I can find in my low rider brain…
Ha. I remember screwing Sonja on tour…and she’d scream out Stewart’s name when she would cum. I didn’t care. I was 25 and she was a rock star in Europe. Good times. Oh wait…back then, Europeans only bathed once a week…at best. The first time I went down on Sonja, I was instantly repelled by the smell of expired fertilizer. My head snapped back like a scared turtle. I believe I may have even lost consciousness for a few seconds. She asked me why I stopped. I didn’t know what to say. Under normal circumstances, I would have gotten the girl some Brillo pads and told her to use them. But my job in the band was at stake. She interrupted my he-hawing and said, “Oh. I get it. Jews don’t like to perform cunnilingus.” I jumped on it and said, “Yeah. It’s part of the Old Testament…thou shall not eat unclean shellfish.” And boy, did she have an old lobster down there. Thank God for the absence of claws. What if she held my face while I was down there? Screams for my mommy would have been heard in the lobby.
The cigar has a bit of flavor. I just don’t know what it is.
The black pepper provides a decent level of spiciness.
Strength is medium/full.
The burn slows down. Great. God is punishing me.
“Feelin’ Alright.” Joe Cocker. Much better version than the original by Dave Mason.
Strength ratchets up to full tilt. I’m sacrificing myself for your enjoyment. A cigar with no name. At least the burn is horrifying.
In your wild days, ever have a real skinny girl get on top and pound away like a jackhammer? Can’t say ‘me neither.’ I remember my pelvic bone glowing red for days. How do you put your genitals in a sling? Never figured that one out. And I couldn’t get rid of her. She kept showing up at my door wanting to fuck without calling first. No one lined up at my door now.
This cigar never had a chance. A dog turd would be a step up.
I can scratch C.L.E. Cigars off my list…finally.
I’ll pick a better cigar tomorrow.
RATING: Bad
Discover more from Cigar Reviews by the Katman
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
