Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés Maduro
Binder: Indonesian
Filler: Dominican, Nicaraguan Corojo ‘98, Pennsylvania Double Ligero
Size: 5.5 x 52 Belicoso
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $12.00 (A buck or two less online)
My cigars received 4 months of naked humidor time.
Released in 2018 with a limited number of only 75,000 cigars. Going, going…
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
As this cigar saw its only release in 2018, I must assume that available cigars have gotten over 5 years of box time. No need for endless humi aging on your end.
I saw several reviews from 2018. This cigar received consistently good ratings. I’m here to possibly add to the raves…or dress it down.
The draw is wide open. I see my PerfecDraw dangling from the end of the cigar. Is this enthusiasm or a desire to hide from the Draft Board. I ask my PD to extract itself. Its tiny hand clasps its right ear while mumbling it can’t hear me. Yeah, sure. Luckily, I have a bottle of seltzer water which extricates the poseur from my cigar. It lets go before I can grab a cream pie.
A very pleasant start. Sentient notes of black pepper, generic nuttiness, some cream, and dark chocolate.
A manly smoke. Reminds me of what my grandfather smoked. A hearty, no-nonsense smoke that reaps the wind with evidence of well-chosen cigar tobacco. Sophisticated.
Creamy, nutty, dried fruit, black pepper, miso, a nice hint of mixed berries, acorn pie, ferret stew, dark chocolate, imagined leather, and black coffee.
A hint of sweetness that complements the cigar perfectly.
The last thing I heard, the first time I was knocked unconscious, was the no neck tackle saying, ‘I’ll take the hippie.’
The beginning belied a possible rough blend but after an inch, it ain’t so. The cigar smooths out nicely. Strength is medium. My personal strength is weak.
I don’t do thirds anymore. Yeah, I have a tape measure. Doing thirds was invented by who…question mark. I followed the rules, like the lemming I am, for years. I don’t feel like it any longer. No one really cares, do they…no question mark. Am I right or am I right. All hail the art of the fast scroll.
The second half takes a route of 40 minutes and finds itself in delicato territory. This is the brilliant sweet spot we idiots crave. Waves of bliss.
I get why back in the day rednecks said longhairs looked like women. Some of us did. But that’s why God invented mustaches. And don’t you love 75 year old rockers who refuse to stop dying their hair…not leaving a single trace of grey hair. At some point, they gotta stop smoking weed. They ain’t fooling the 65 year old groupies.
It’s hard to come up with shit almost every day. No, I’m not busy. Just old.
The extended box aging serves this cigar well. Its roughshod beginning will not improve but the reward is in that beloved second half. A shame you can’t cut the cigar in half and start there. Yeah, I’ve tried that. I must have been drunk.
So nutty and earthy. Like taking a dump after eating too many peanuts at the game. If we can’t digest nuts, why do we eat them. Dunno.
The price point on this cigar is still relatively high due to its rarity.
I had the tradecraft, but not the ruthlessness.
Comedian Shecky Greene died a few days ago. He was 97. I met him in the 90’s at the community pool at my dad’s condo in Palm Springs. The man was nonstop funny. He joined us for dinner once. Spit takes was the order for the meal.
Yeah, the second half is like a completely different cigar. This is my fourth MoFo. They all followed the same path. Possibly a flaw in the blending process. But the 40 minute second half is truly divine. One forgets the first half. Maybe it’s me.
When I’m gone, my reviews will be ripped apart looking for inconsistencies…I hope so.
I was on top of a young lady when my music partner walked in to watch. The last time I lost a boner this fast was when mom unexpectedly walked into my bedroom. My father never gave me the lecture about excessive masturbation. And is it really excessive. The eye of the beholder.
A lovely cigar worth $10.
My rating would have been higher if the blend had started with the brilliance the second half imparted.
You can purchase the MoFo from sponsor Cigar Page. Sponsors Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’) and Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’) have large selections of Caldwell cigar blends.
RATING: 92
And now for something completely different:
The editors at Cigar Aficionado have a distinct way of describing flavors like no one else. Here is a sample (I’m not making this shit up):
1. The finish is minty and reedy. (Mouthwash after continuous binging and purging).
2. Full of bright floral and linen notes. (Febreze).
3. The finish feels powdery on the palate. (Jock itch).
4. Pencil lead notes with a finish smacking of vermouth. (Cyanide poisoning).
5. A steely finish. (Machine bolt aftertaste).
6. The draw is open and lush. (Uncle Hymie).
7. A piquant aftertaste. (No fucking idea).
8. Toasted caramel. (Aunt Rhoda).
9. Espresso character buttressed by slight fruitiness and a touch of tar. (Cousin Lowell).
10. A balanced cigar with considerable charm. (Leave your name and number in the ashtray and I’ll get back to you).
11. Touches of cereal and nuts also emerge. (Male Froot Loops).
12. Oaky underpinnings. (A peg leg).
13. Hints of wet leather (Sado-masochism gone terribly wrong).
14. Squarely pressed with a bumpy head (See photo of katman).
15. Charry finish that sticks to the palate (Unexpected diarrhea).
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
