Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan Jalapa and Condega (Aged 4 Years)
Size: 6 x 52 Toro
Strength: Mild/Medium
Price: $20.00
My cigars received 3 months of naked humidor time.
BACKGROUND:
From Luxury Cigar Club:
“Yemeya is a very small brand that is only sold at one location in the Caribbean. These cigars are hand rolled in Nicaragua by the iconic Ortez family. Covered in an Ecuadorian Shade-grown wrapper, that is both smooth and flavorful, this cigar should end up on your top 5 list. Using filler leaves that have been aged a minimum of 4 years, Yemeya boasts flavors of cinnamon, nutmeg, cream, and butter, without the bitterness Connecticut’s are typically associated with. These cigars are very hard to source, so be sure to enjoy it during the perfect occasion.”
You can visit the Brown & Bailey webpage here.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
The wrapper is so delicate that my stock barely survived being disseminated into my humidor.
The cigar has the proper heft. I get the swagger of near perfect resistance from this cigar, but one that could use a little help. No need to drag a bad air flow issue into a cigar review when you have the tools to fix it. My PerfecDraw stands at the ready.
A brand-new company with a brand-new blend. Tricky business.
A mild start with notes of creaminess, caramel, black pepper, vanilla, and citrus. Pretty much like any other cigar with the equivocal leaf stats. Although, the company touts four years of aging on the filler.
Not a thrilling start. Ordinary. A $20 stick should be anything but ordinary.
The cigar is based out of St. Thomas U.S. Virgin Islands at The Ritz-Carlton. Pretty fancy. And fancy means selling a do-wop cigar to rich idiots for a pretty penny. Graycliff started this way. And we all dearly love the blends coming from those folks.
Strength is barely mild/medium. The favorite potency for true cigar lovers that really don’t like cigars that much. But like how cool they appear in the nonchalant hand.
Know who can kill a cigar with mild strength…that’s right, Jeremy Casdagli. Jeremy is a true professional so he would never laugh at the competition’s faulty towered attempt to play catch up with the hoi polli.
Let’s face it, Omar Ortez ain’t no Hendrik Kelner. Ortez is known for a slew of $4 blends he produces for online cigar retailers. So, if ‘iconic’ means notorious, so be it.
Do I taste butter, cinnamon, cream, nutmeg, cashew, coffee, biscuit, and toffee…Sure, why not. Am I slammed with richness and complexity? Not a chance. The cigar tastes like any other $4 Connie. Why did I choose to review this cigar. Because I’m a moron.
If you Google this company, you get fitness trainer Bailey Brown who will teach you to tighten your butt cheeks. After lighting this cigar, my cheeks are flaccid and toasty.
The flavors morph with flavors of possum pancreas, toilet seat remnants, creaminess, red pepper, cedar, barnyard drippings, mustiness, and the always beloved mind-numbing dish of warm vinegar.
The char line is a joke. Yet, I find myself not laughing. A grimace and a waffle maybe.
If I burst into flames during this review, I had it coming.
I see the ghosts of blenders past…all giving me the finger.
I believe I would have preferred to have a colonoscopy this morning instead of reviewing this fine cigar. Either way, I’m taking it up the ass.
This may just be one of the worst cigars I’ve smoked. I hope you appreciate that I’m taking a blunderbuss to the face for you dear readers.
I look at the cigar in the ashtray and I swear it keeps growing back.
The halfway point arrives at 3 days 14 hours.
Maybe I should tell a joke. I don’t know any.
What a disaster for B&B’s first time out with a cigar it holds to its breast. These folks might be good at booking you a yacht for the afternoon so you can eat caviar and drink fine bourbon, but their days as a premium purveyor of expensive cigars are doomed. Their customers must be satisfied buying fake Cubans and loving them.
This is my third stick. Instead of ignoring this cigar for perpetuity, it seemed my duty to warn you of buying this cigar should the opportunity arise. A fancy cigar band. A fancy backstory. An abysmal product.
I decide to play Russian Roulette with my Glock.
I ask for your forgiveness…I can’t go on. This is one horrible cigar.
RATING: Snake Eyes.
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
