Wrapper: Connecticut Broadleaf Maduro & Ecuadorian Habano (Barberpole)
Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf
Filler: Dominican (Pueblo Nuevo, Olor Ligero), Nicaraguan (Condega, Estelí, Jalapa), & Pennsylvania (Green River One Sucker Double Ligero)
Size: 4.25 x 52
Strength: Full
Price: $12.50
My cigars received only 7 weeks of naked humidor time.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Yes, believe it or don’t, this is a barber pole cigar. If you look closely, using your coolest shades, it is impossible to see those rings. So, don’t. Or stare at it using your solar eclipse eyeglasses…it looks like a deep-fried taquito.
The perfectly flat cap is a marvel. Reminds me of 1962 and all the cool guys had those perfect flat top haircuts. You had to be blonde to pull it off. My Jewfro didn’t cut it. Plus, at 13, I was only 4’-10…hard to impress chicks when they’ve had their growth spurts, and they use the top of your head to rest their Chesterfields.
But I can tell you this…
The cigar is as tight as the daughter of a preacher man on Saturday night. My PerfecDraw runs at a gallop. If it had feet, it would be a canter. But then Dr. Rod isn’t Jewish, so…
The wrapper’s lovely aroma of barnyard and hay reminds me of my misspent youth spent as a rodeo clown at Lakers games.
The start can tell all if you’re lucky. I feel lucky. Do you feel lucky, punk? I met Clint at a gay bathhouse in San Francisco. I was delivering condoms and goat cheese for a local military surplus outlet. Our eyes met. He punched me. I left without a tip.
A meaty tobacco flavor. Oakiness with tactile notes of sweetness. Some black pepper holds out in the background giving the cigar just the right oomph opening the party at medium/full. Just a slight caramel note makes the balance a slightly off-balance picture. A savory cigar at this early stage that doesn’t need sweetness.
The burn is off kilter a bit, but any number of humidification issues can cause this. The bane of every cigar smoker…are my cigars moist enough? That, and can I afford to buy more and hide them from my wife?
New flavors at ½” burned. Black licorice, malt, and thyme. The savory journey continues. If there is serious richness in play, the cigar can go any which way it wants. The cigar’s half inch mark triggers the awaited complexity. I knew it was coming as this is the reason for reviewing a cigar with less than two months of humi time.
I was at my press agent’s office. He grabbed me and told me to tell Melissa Gilbert (Little House on the Prairie) that I wanted her to be in my Eddie Munster music video. To which I replied, “What?”
He wanted to snag her as a new client…and he made me part of his pitch. I spent a very long 45 minutes in his conference room with Melissa. I pulled confetti from my arse trying to convince her I wrote a non-existent part just for her. I have never lied so artfully…I should have become a lawyer like my father wanted. Ms. Gilbert seemed unmoved by my scenario. But I got a big slap on the back from my blatantly stupid PR guy as I transported back to Earth. I called Butch to ask him what do we do if Melissa bites? He just laughed. Thankfully, the woman never became a client, and I was off the hook. I must admit I thought of calling her as she had just turned 18 and was legal tender. But as I completed my journey, with a soft landing back to this planet, I brushed it off as being a bit starstruck…this woman had actually touched Michael Landon’s hair and lived to talk about it.
Construction is excellent as the cigar takes its ever lovin time. The burn self corrects.
At 1” burned, the strength becomes full magnum. This is not a RoMa Craft Neanderthal for newbies. Only the stark naked should apply. I love the smell of the spins in the morning. Auto correct tries to turn ‘spins’ into ‘spines.’ I love the smell of burning spines in the morning. Auto correct lies dormant on this one.
It was 73 degrees yesterday. The warmest February day on record in Wisconsin. This morning is -22. A 90-degree swing. Sammy’s nuts are frozen. Mine remain intact. Mummification isn’t temperature affected.
Richness is vivid and abundant in nature. So hard to describe. The GD’s flavors aren’t linear. They’re lush, twisted, and fatty. How do you depict a wonderful cigar to someone? Cigar reviewing makes no sense. Saying that it is subjective only peels the first layer of the onion while there are endless stratums that aren’t explored.
I lean towards evenly balanced cigars. I love sweet and savory uniformly distributed to the palate. Occasionally, I get a blend that is bathed in savory. You know how sometimes you hear a song, and it seems timeless. It makes sense. This cigar is all that. Free Fallin’.
A basket of nuts. Hold the scrotum. Baking spices, malt, bittersweet chocolate, black coffee, licorice, smoky, black strap molasses, slight mustiness, and black pepper.
This little baby is taking its time. A leisurely smoke that gives you plenty of time to savor all the things you like about cigar smoking. So nice. It takes nearly 45 minutes to smoke half.
The strength is full tilt, but nicotine is nearly absent. A test for how fucked up you get from a strong cigar is removal of the cigar band. If your fingers don’t move on command, you know the cigar is great and you’re having a good time. The next step is partial blindness. The moment I read a cigar is too strong for a reviewer, I tune them out. Let ‘em eat Connie.
I remember a girl whose genital region smelled of two-day old garbage. As I recoiled in horror, she asked why I wasn’t partaking. Before I could respond, she said “I know. Jewish boys don’t like to perform cunnilingus.” I jumped on that as I was a shy boy. “Yeah. That’s it. Rabbi’s orders.” I’ll let the next guy tell her the truth.
Don’t let diminutive size fool you. I’m talking about the cigar. This cigar has the capability of being a 90-minute smoke. And it isn’t a $17 cigar. $12.50 seems a bargain in 2024. Around $11 after promo code.
I’ve soaked up all I can from the RoMa Craft L.E. Neanderthal Genetic Deformity. Skip Martin did good.
I read that the cigar has intense sweetness. That is incorrect. Sweetness is an afterthought. This is a savory blend. A good one.
Sure as shit. 90 minutes.
You’re not going to find a better $11 stick. The cigar is a nubber.
You can purchase the Neanderthal Genetic Deformity from sponsor Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’). You can purchase RoMa Craft blends from sponsors Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’), Renegade Cigars (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), and Cigar Page.
RATING: 96
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
