Wrapper: Ecuadorian Sumatra
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 6 x 38 Corona
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $9.00
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I reviewed the Skinny Monsters Cazadores Drac in August 2023. I showed my love with a rating of 94. I look back and wonder why I smoked all means of Monsters but only reviewed one blend…huh.
Look at my cigar photo. A rusty nail.
Suckability is too narrow for my snobbish needs. I carefully plunge my PerfecDraw into the center of the stick while slashing it up and down like Tony Perkins in Psycho. No screams except for mine. Dr. Rod grabs his cheeks like Macauley Culkin. No Michael Jackson pun intended.
An immediate threshold of richness is breached in the first puffs. Aging or some other manner of chemically induced agent is widely apparent to my contracted palate. Reedy and supple like me. Ever notice that men in their 70’s only have two shapes…either they are thin as rails, or they have the ‘Gut.’ No in between.
No shit…this tiny blend is slapping my girlfriend’s tushy. I don’t have a real lover, just an imaginary paramour named Justin.
If I must roll out a flavor profile, here it is: cinnamon, sweet cashews, dark chocolate, espresso, mild black pepper, and prune Danish. It is the dried fruit analogy that hits home with my brain trying to contact my palate. But also dried tomatoes. An olive oil feeling on my lips. And a slight saltiness. This is wonderful. And I bought a box of 25…oh my. This was very smart on my part.
This diminutive stick is burning at a flaming snail’s pace. 3/4” that takes 15 minutes. Using my Commodore 64 to calculate the final burn time, I’m guessing 2 hours.
If I don’t mention discounted price points using the katman promo code, a guy named Cheech shows up at my door asking for Benny. So, you’re looking at around $8 per stick, or better. Benny’s not here.
I have tennis elbow from…well, you know. And I need bionic knees. I’m falling apart.
‘Green Grass & High Tides’ by The Outlaws. Got my motor running now.
The blend is a lovefest of complexity and richness from first light.
Strength is salacious and potent at medium/full. But not a lick of noble gases being emitted from my backside. The spiciness is mild but gives this blend the perfect oomph.
Creaminess kicks in with both claws…the craw, not the craw. My audience for getting old pop culture references is dwindling. Turns out my biggest audience is from guys 25-55. The old guys are mostly dead.
I gotta stop and drag in cat litter and cat food from Amazon. Be back in a minute.
Sips of water make the flavor profile pop. Imagine an onslaught of good whisky.
‘Harvest Moon’ by Neil Young. Now I’m swingin’ and swaying. Good music and a good cigar. We thrive on it.
A friend was murdered in a home robbery. At his funeral, the family played Rod Stewart’s 7-minute live version of ‘Hot Legs.’ The preacher booked. The rest of us had no place to go.
A delightful cigar by all accounts. Man, I’m telling you that this Wolf baby has got me all excited about visiting the rest of the Monsters series. So many to choose from. But it will take a helluva blend to make me stop loving the Wolf.
Do the flavor points change constantly? Nope. In stone: creaminess, dark chocolate, black cherry, prune, rich coffee beans, white pepper, dried tomatoes, sweet raw cashews, malt, nutmeg, cinnamon, and olive oil. This is plenty enough for every man jack of you.
I watched season 3 of The Morning Show because I like seeing how 71-year-old Jennifer Aniston still can’t find a bra to hide her nipples.
The wealth of complexity and depth is not finite. Nuances and subtle lushness are wonderful. Not disinterested for a moment.
Here is the rub…a full-strength cigar in its second half but not a lick of the dreaded nicotine or the uncontrolled spins. That’s what I’m talking about.
I’m on a mission from God to let you know you can’t go wrong with the Wolf. An intense two-hour cigar experience for less than a sawbuck. A tiny cigar that goes the extra mile.
Of course, Amazon had to pack the 18llb cat litter and 5lb bag of cat food in one box. Oh, my back. Laugh now, but decrepitude is coming for you too.
And by the way, my cigars only received 2 weeks of naked humidor time. Sometimes, 2 years of box aging pays off.
You can snag the Tat Skinny Monsters Wolf from sponsors Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’), and Cigar Page.
RATING: 94
And now for something completely different:
A fable to prove that you should just say no to drugs.
1972.
I had been laid off from my part time college job in which I was hired to prepare drawings for structural platforms for a piping/chemical plant outfit. I completed my contract and hoped to be laid off once again. But no…they tried to teach me the complicated piping diagrams in about 20 minutes, and I just didn’t get it, so I was dispatched with a friendly handshake.
Back in the day, you had to visit the unemployment office once a week to pick up your check. One had to look contrite in front of a government employee and convince him/her you were vigorously looking for work.
As I approached the front doors of the unemployment office, I noticed a guy loitering against the building, and he whistled for me to come over. I was such a naïve kid back then. He told me I looked cool, and asked if I’d be interested in an ounce of hash for $40? I said yes but I told him that I had to get my money first.
He was waiting for me when I came out and he told me to follow him. I lived in Santa Ana. There were some very rough neighborhoods in that town.
I trailed his car in my 1965 VW Camper Bus to where I learned later was a place called Heroin Row. He took a $100 bill from me and went in. He came out a few minutes later and said we had to go to another place, and he jumped in with me. My suspicions arose. But then I was pretty dumb handing him a C note and expecting change.
We arrived at a very seedy apartment building, and he went inside.
Too much time went by, so I drove my VW to the alley behind the apartment building just in time to see him jumping in a car, driven by some nefarious looking dude, and their car took off burning rubber.
I tracked them. They saw that I was following, and the race was on. It reminded me of the car chase from the movie, “Bullit.” Their little car was going 80mph and I floored the VW and kept up with them. We were weaving in and out of residential areas and then their car suddenly pulled over. I had certainly shown them who’s boss.
I jumped out, holding a road flare, yelling that I have their license plate and they better give me my money back.
The hash seller got out and tried to smooth things over by being nice and apologetic. Meanwhile, the driver who looked like something from a vampire movie, got out and walked quickly to me pulling a switch blade and resting the pointy end on my Adam’s apple.
“You have my license plate? Huh? Is that what you said? What are you going to do with it? Huh? You want me to leave you dead right here? Huh?”
I dropped the flare. I told him all I wanted was my hash and they could keep the change.
And then a miracle. A Santa Ana cop car pulled up with two officers inside. They didn’t do a thing; just sat there and stared at us. They didn’t care about junkies killing junkies.
The vampire put his knife away and they got back in the car. They drive off with my money.
The cops were still there, and I saw them laughing, and then they drove off.
I was shaking.
I drove home minus $100. (Over $700 in 2024 dollars).
As soon as I got home, I called my buddy Tim and told him what happened. He came over right away with a bag of weed and we rolled some doobies.
I felt much better, and the shaking stopped.
I whined that I lost my money and had no dope.
Tim said to keep the bag.
“That will be $40 please.”
A little insensitive but I handed over the money.
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