Wrapper: Dominican
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 5.5 x 52 Square Box Pressed
Strength: Full
Price: $38.00
These cigars have 10 years of box aging.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Sometimes a cigar smells really good. Like this one: sweet barnyard, strong floral notes, coffee, milk chocolate, potent honey, and dried figs.
The square box press is gorgeous. A heavy cigar in the hand. Hard to believe it maintained its erection for 10 years…don’t ask. But the baby is plugged like a corpulent politician’s toilet after a cheese curd frittata brunch. Do I have something to fix it, or should I wax poetically about how disappointed I am with the manufacturer’s rollers? My PerfecDraw rides in on a neutral-colored horse. 30 seconds later, the chaos is over, and I’m left without the opportunity to complain ad nauseum.
This is an immediate killer smoke from the first puffs. Yeah, it’s everything you thought it’d be. My head flies back like my daughter has me in the usual choke hold.
Bangin’ notes of honey, creaminess, lemon citrus, edible flowers, vanilla, and café au lait. Wow.
I recently reviewed the 2016 Fuente Fuente OpusX 20 Years Celebration God’s Whisper. A dud of the highest order. This square headed freckled boy is making up for it in spades.
After 10 years, strength has not mellowed as I’m pummeled by medium/full body and muscle. This is going to be a test of my wavering manhood.
The burn needs a slight touch up but seems to be doing fine otherwise.
Dominican leaves fair better with time than any other country’s wares.
A mellow richness is thrashing like an active shark attack…no pun intended.
Love that burn…
Cinnamon, creamy galore, the tracks of my tears, dried fruit, chocolate, black pepper, lemon rind, floral, and honey. Double wow.
Some cigars stink to high heaven. This baby sends aromatic flowers into the air shot from a tee shirt gun.
A beautiful slow roll. Heaven, boys…heaven. Taste-O-Vision. I’d love to be a cigar reviewer in 100 years.
Strength is full but without any hint of nicotine. Bulbous wallet newbies should try this cigar.
Not a single place in Milwaukee to buy real bagels. Why do gentile bakeries always add sugar to an innocent bagel? I threw caution to the wind and ordered a couple dozen to be flown in on a rabbi’s wings from NYC. Living in Chicago found me stopping and buying an onion bialy before I visited jobsites. Fat Bastard body shape followed.
Smooth. The word was invented for this cigar. Sigh.
Milk and graham crackers. Kindergarten. Chocolate caramel. 6th grade. Floral and honey. High school prom. Buffalo Springfield…’Out of My Mind.’
Stevie Wonder…I’d love to come back with his talent but not blind. I’d be willing to come back gay rather than be blind. I mean, how do you jerk off to Pornhub if you can’t see?
My recording engineer got his start at a Hollywood studio that looped dialog for porn movies. Actors sat in a circle moaning and groaning into mics. The new engineers had to pay their dues with the gay films. 8 hours of that was something that the folks at Abu Ghraib could have used as their main focus of torture. But no one ever accused the CIA of being creative.
Perfect construction. It reminds me of my days in Quentin when they did some renovations…very professional and the involuntary rapes quieted down a bit.
The second half and the whole crowd chimes in: Complexity, subtleties, nuances, balance, richness, and shifting boxer shorts.
Want to watch chicks scramble for the exit…tell them you play accordion.
Age has toned down the strength to that of an out of tune polka. You can still dance to it but if you’re there, you thought Lawrence Welk was groundbreaking. I don’t know what that means.
OK. I’m all out of nonsense. A treat of monumental proportions.
The last third is the flavor wheel turned over under sideways down. Explosive. Diminutive. Congealed. Powerful. Distinct. Complexity is yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eyes.
Smoking a square cigar can be confusing when the strength is denying your brain oxygen. I don’t care. This was more fun than watching a drunk parallel park.
Non-sponsor Cigars Direct sells these cigars by the single ($62.90). There are various online retailers who have these sticks cheaper but only sell them by the box. I’ve never bought from them so I’m unable recommend them.
RATING: 97
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
Hey Katman
new reader here. Wanted to say hello. I had one of these and it was incredible. #4 I think.
you are fuckin hilarious. Keep it up. Best wishes from MN
Ben
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Hi Ben,
I forgot I decided to try allowing comments again after all these years until you popped up.
What could go wrong?
Thank you so much for your kind support.
Minnesota…brr.
Phil
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I use Cigars Direct from time to time. They have inventory that is harder to find elsewhere but prices are on the higher side. I will say they are reliable, customer service is good, and they ship pretty quickly.
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Thanks young Willy,
The numbers are out on Cigars Direct. They go consistently for the gonads of smokers seeking very hard to find cigars.
It is a free market…so buyer beware.
Phil
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DJust wanted to say I love your reviews and stories. I’ve gotten some great cigars based on your reviews. Habana Port Cigar Merchants has singles of the Shark for $49.55. I also got a Opus X Lost City Double Robusto. These will be my first Opus Xs. Looking forward to trying them.
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Hi Stephen,
Thank you.
I was not aware of this online retailer but they certainly look legit.
They seem to have a nice selection of various OpusX blends. But note that these are most probably the 2021 versions and not the 2014 version I reviewed. So, be patient and don’t waste a good cigar by smoking it too early.
Here is a link to Habana Port Cigar Merchants.
Phil
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Hey Phil.
I love the sharks, but that site is selling an Opus X and A Julius Ceasar that sold as a pair for $50 in the “Toast Across America” set that Fuente sells every year at Christmas time.
They had the Opus for $63 and the Julius Ceasar for $36. Just calling that out for the rest of the folks. That is gouging. Not cool.
Keep an eye out this fall, Fuente always releases Two very good cigars for that sampler. Maybe not sharks, but a good Opus and a Good Ceasar. Totally worth $50 for a good cause.
Vince
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Thanks Vince.
Phil
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Glad to see comments up. I’ve always wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your reviews. In fact, I typically check your write-ups before buying an unknown cigar. Keep up the great work.
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Hey Raf,
Thank you.
I’m keeping it up till I see Sally sneaking through the alley.
Phil
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Hello sir. As someone who can’t afford $50 cigars (I’m just a working slob) it is fun to live vicariously through your reviews. Well done.
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Hi Raul,
I paid $26 for this $50 cigar months ago.
Once in a while, I bite the bullet and pay $50-$60 for a cigar…but only for the entertainment value of a review.
My stash is mostly made up of $12-$14 sticks. Which is the going rate these days for anything worthwhile to smoke.
But there are a lot of guys out there with way too much discretionary cash burning big holes in their pockets.
And they buy up the ridiculously priced stuff in the blink of an eye.
I’ll never have that life of the elite. But I can watch, like you, and stare in wonder.
Thank you for your comment. And kind support.
Phil
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