Wrapper: Dominican Cameroon Rosado
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 5.25 x 50 Robusto
Strength: Medium
Price: $14.00 in 2018 ~ Upwards of $35.00 in 2024 due to rarity.

The tobacco in this cigar has 10 years of age at time of release in 2018.
Beyond that, my cigars have 6 years of box aging and one month of naked humidor time. Should be ready to smoke.

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Fabulous Funyuns Flatulence Friday. Say that three times fast. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Is the cigar plugged? Do I need my PerfecDraw? How do reviewers slog through a critique without whining about cigar construction. As a younger decrepit man, I did that very thing. What a dumb ass was I. Is it a pain in the arse if it doesn’t burn perfectly? Sure. It’s a fucking bunch of dried bush leaves. Anything can happen between rolling and smoking. Can slapdash be part of the equation? Yeah, it can. But stop whining about it and do your job and tell smokers if the concoction is good or it ain’t. No one gives a shit if the burn is slightly off…only wankers do. And if you don’t like my attitude…well, blow me.

(Dust off my smock and sit up straight). OK. The cigar. Hefty little baby. Smells like dog shit. Good start.

Bitter beginning. I’m regretting I did this as a one off. Old cigars. Can’t fuck ‘em, can’t trust ‘em. The tip of my tongue tingles. This can’t be right. And…it calms the fuck down. What the hell was that? Must have been dipped in polonium. My next review will be dictated from a camp in Siberia.

And the blossom backs up and starts again. Caramel, vanilla, light berries, big floral notes, black and red peppers, and creaminess. What the hell was that?

You have certain expectations when you smoke an expensive cigar. Especially when it’s a Fuente, a Padron, a Davidoff, a Byron, a Behike, a Partagas Serie E, or a Mayan Sicars. This is why they get to charge an arm and a leg. If they don’t meet that expectation each and every time, well…fuck ‘em.

The burn is off. 88.

For a $14 cigar, it ain’t bad.

¾” into the ceegar and don’t give us none of your aggravation. A balanced richness is in play. Flavor profile does not expand. I doubt it will. Better writers than me have gone on ad nauseum. I relish ineptitude. How do you stretch 4 flavors into a last will and testament.

I do believe I expected more from this vanquished cigar blend. Sometimes Fuente knocks it out of the park. Not this time. I can tell. Now it makes sense as to why I found just one review after all these years. In fact, I agree with that writer’s final assessment. A decent blend but is it good enough to go ‘Awww’ about? Not really. Especially since that writer only paid $14 and not the current going rate of the insane price tag of $35.

The burn ain’t half bad. 89:

If I had Dr. Rod’s dough, I’d have a gaggle of cigars that would allow me to eradicate the so-so blends from the go-to-blends before I put quill to parchment. But in the end, the thrill is bringing an opinion to daylight that either confirms or denies existing judgements. I must suffice with that.

It’s a good cigar. Don’t get me fellated. I anticipated being blown away. The burn is off again. 86. Oh no. What do I do. A 2 second burn fixes all. Whew.

I repeat myself… For clerical reasons, I feel I should announce the obvious. 90% of the 9 or 10 readers that visit me every day know how my scoring works without the need for a separate post explaining my system. Here it is: 70-80 Oy. 80-85 OK. 85-90 Not bad. 90-95 I like. 96-100 I love. And there it is.

My fall back position is you should read yesterday’s review of the Dapper La Madrina Shade. Gave a rating of 100 because it provides an expensive cigar for only $10. Don’t spend $35 on this unicorn when you can buy the Shade. No shit my duderinos.

I told this guy I was Eddie Munster’s manager 40 years ago. Nothing. Blank stare. I guess I milked that as much as I’m gonna get.

And 50 years ago, I played with a famous drummer. Nothing. The funny thing is I see old rock stars with dyed hair going on and on about events that happened half a century ago and people are supposed to be interested in these stories. They’re not. I can take a hint. Crimson & Clover (Long Version).

Transitions are caught in stasis. Complexity is minimal. Age is heir apparent. Flavors have been canonized since the beginning. It has a nice level of richness. A good $14 stick.

The burn is better. 87.

I’ve exhausted my welcome.

You know what to do.

I found only one online retailer that sells these cigars in 5 packs: $175.00 or $35.00 per stick. City of Cigars is the culprit. Never bought from them and I don’t know their rep. Purchase at your own risk.

RATING: 89

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

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