Wrapper: U.S.A. Connecticut Broadleaf
Binder: Nicaraguan Jalapa
Filler: Costa Rican, Nicaraguan Ometepe and Pueblo Nuevo
Size: 6.125 x 52 Torpedo
Strength: Medium
Price: $13.00

My cigars received 4 months of naked humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
From Small Batch Cigar:
“Le Pâtissier is a PCA exclusive, only offered to Crowned Heads retailers that attended the tradeshow in Las Vegas last year. It’s inspired by the popular Le Carême release, but this time produced at Tabacalera Pichardo.

“When we were approached to do a PCA 2021 exclusive we wanted to bring something special to the show,” said Jon Huber, co-founder of Crowned Heads, in a press release. “Pâtissier is an amazing expression of Connecticut broadleaf that exudes a unique combination of complexity, finesse and balance. We’ve produced broadleaf-based blends with three other factories to this point; however, Pâtissier brings a different dimension to the profile that makes it stands on its own.”

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
HW’s reviewers critiqued this cigar twice in 2022. Two different soul men. Two wildly different reviews. Goes to show you…the palate is a mysterious thing. And we boneheads continue to look towards the written, or video, critique for guidance. We honey do it or don’t. Love it or Leave it. Nixon in ’68. Get out of Vietnam. Stop the commies in their tracks.

Belicoso and torpedo sticks nearly always have draw issues. Modus operandi of the beast. I reach into my empty ball sack and retrieve my impeccable PerfecDraw. It glimmers in the darkness like the fangs of Soupy Sales. I let out a blood curdling scream as I plunge the tool into the netherworld…and voila! I can now freely suck to my ever-lovin’ delight without the added distraction of sunken cheeks. The other cheeks. I’m not gay.

The wrapper smells spectacular…bright and spicy cinnamon, vast fields of floral arrangers on break, vanilla creaminess, warmed cashews, dark cocoa, glistening & globally erect ferret fur, and freshly baked bread.

Not a big broadleaf fan but first impressions are I’m huffing on a stick with an Ecuadorian sleeve. While the Nic guts provide zest, the Costa Rican leaves provide silky smoothness.

The wrapper engorges itself around my lips. (I’m still not gay). A stunning richness ensues…as in a ‘Boy Named ….’ I don’t recollect the Crowned Heads catalog brimming with deeply complex blends. They seem to parallel the AJ playbook. And there is nothing wrong with that road. The Le Pâtissier has an immediate impact with a causation that raises my eyebrows as if Groucho was here. Super smooth.

Instant awareness of rich flavors held at bay just enough to tantalize this palate into wanting more. I sense complexity. The trick is to continue the process.

1931 photo of grandpa (and consigliere mob lawyer) Sam Siegel, my 5-year-old mother, and The Don:

The PR says: ‘Baking Chocolate, Spice, Bread, Stone Fruit, and Cream.’ So far, so good.

Flavor points are a dime a dozen. I don’t sit here like a fucking moron and think that displaying a litany of gingers means I’m a smart smoker. I’m not. Just like you, I know what I like…and discard the rest. Individual flavors are displayed by the reviewer to impress the blender that we know what we’re talking about. Dumb ass rating systems still rely on subjectivity. Advanced algebra or throwing a dart…either will do. We in the trench smokers care about richness, complexity, and transitions. And this blend is delivering. After promo codes, an $11 stick. A bargain.

And it burns nicely:

The lunatic teen that kidnapped and molested my daughter negotiated a plea deal. At the proceedings, he was to admit guilt to the court. Instead, he said with a smile and a little giggle, ‘We was just foolin’ around.’ The judge exploded. The boy’s lawyer nearly fell back in his chair. The prosecutor laughed incredulously. The cops that aided my daughter were there and their jaws dropped. He went to prison. His family declared vengeance on my family. The JDL showed up to protect my family. And we had to get out of Dodge.

Does this cigar wreak of surplus rutabagas? No. That’s just me before I Lume up. Copperline.

Strength is medium. A very nice morning smoke with coffee. I love coffee. I used to love cocaine but that was 45 years ago. I’m over it now.

Construction is just immaculate. I wish you were here.

The album we recorded at Island Studios London was a long succession of hangs and intrusions by people we didn’t know. I had no idea who to be nice to…or people I should ask ‘Who the fuck are you?’

Getting high with Jose Feliciano at Island Studios. He was an OK dude:

Before Curved Air, I was in Stark Naked and the Car Thieves. A name that drummer Stewart Copeland came up with. Our lead singer was an American from Georgia. Looked like Duane Allman. He spent several years working carnivals and would swallow a fiery sword during our encore. Our audience was mesmerized. Even the band would stop playing and just stare expecting there would be one less guy that needed to get paid.

I’ve been doing this for 14 years. Famous Smoke gave me my start as their in-house reviewer with my own page. Without my consent, they took my old Curved Air photo and doctored it to make me look like an idiot. I went by Katmancross back then…don’t ask.

I’m cruising as I pass the halfway point. Supremely easy-going satisfying smoke. It reminds me of much more expensive blends with flag waving innards. This is one of the best cigars Crowned Heads has brought to our attention. The best part is it is regular production…and it’s affordable. We have a winner.

It used to be we officious critics would review whatever the companies sent us. But now, the massive influx of choices makes it near impossible to keep up. I’m running out of money. You want to help me out? Please help me continue. Thanks. See below.

The blend provides a minimalist approach to spiciness. A lightness that once again makes it a nice a.m. smoke. A sweet brioche tingles. Reviews over the last couple of years have raked this blend over the coals. They’ve been overly critical. There is nothing wrong with a good time amusing cigar. It’s not a steam roller. Not every cigar must carry a heavy bat. A ton of crap out there at this price point. This is my third Le Pâtissier. It doesn’t waver. I don’t like surprises when I reach into my humidor. Not a lick of harshness. It contains elusive richness. Lightly complex. Transitional. I want something I can count on. Mime is money. For $10-$12, this is a reliable stick. Will it make my top 25 list? Nope. What is my reaction? I’d like to have a box. I do. Jon Huber did good. The negative reviews were severe. A professional reviewer tends to overlook simplicity. If done correctly, it results in a pleasant smoke. In the current Land of Giant Price Tags, the $11 stick that performs in a courteous manner is a good time.

You can purchase this cigar from sponsors Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman), and Cigar Page.

RATING: 94

This has always been a free service because I love doing it. Your donations will simply allow me to maintain purchasing power in obtaining new cigars. Remember…to the cigar industry, I’m the antichrist. Don’t let the bastards win. You need my voice. Many thanks to all you kool kats .

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, crowned heads cigars, Crowned Heads Le Pâtissier No. 2 | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, jon huber, katman, phil kohn