Wrapper: Ecuadorian
Binder: Mexican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 6 x 54 Toro
Strength: Medium
Price: $54.00

My cigars received two months of naked humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
From Small Batch Cigar:
“Davidoff invested 16 months of fermentation and 2 years of aging in the tobacco of this cigar. All formats are dressed in a dark Ecuadorian wrapper from the Corte #7 grade, which accounts for almost half of the overall aroma. This leaf grows on the upper part of the tobacco plant, where it receives the most sunlight, which results in a thicker structure. A leaf of this nature requires much more time to ferment naturally. Davidoff therefore doubled the fermentation period of Maduro’s wrapper leaf.”

The blend comes in three sizes: Short Corona (4 x 43) $43, Robusto (5 x 50) $50, and Toro (6 x 54) $54.

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
This is a cigar that will sell out quickly. Nothing excites a rich guy more than a $50 cigar. While at the same time, €49.57 throws the Euro/Commonwealth smoker into despair. Rich guys don’t read cigar reviews. So, who the hell am I preaching to? We be staring with our faces planted on the window looking in…and wondering…the fuck?

Hefty and stout cigar. And constipated like a German: Farfrompoopen. I grab my PerfecDraw which has disguised itself as a marmot in training. I tell it to take a letter to my attorneys: Hunga Dunga, Hunga Dunga, Hunga Dunga, & McCormick. I left out the main Hunga Dunga (‘Animal Crackers’).

Starts like your average $10 stick. Which it probably is before Davidoff added its own value and luxury tax. You buy Davidoff and you have the privilege of paying 500% more than it’s worth. True dat.

The tobacco has a couple years of aging prior to being shipped. Do I taste it. Not yet.

Davidoff’s press release says: ‘Dark Chocolate, Cream, Nuts, Dried Fruit, Honey, Oak.’ Describes any good $12 stick. Plus, all you gotta do is come up with flavors and we smokers will taste it. Psychological warfare.

The start is spicy with red and black pepper, cinnamon, and lots of creaminess. Big fat Toro. This is going to take a while. Meanwhile…

While Bill Cosby was enjoying fame and fortune in the early 80’s, he would spend a lot of time in Lake Tahoe partying like it was 1999. Charlotte’s best friend was a regular companion to Bill when he hit town. She got him all the cocaine he needed for his lifestyle requirements. She also acted as his date around the casinos, shows, and private parties. He was a serial cheater, but his wife knew all this. Cosby bragged about this to Charlotte. Camille was riding the gravy train and just didn’t care her husband was a bitch in heat. He was also known to be violent with women…so the prostitutes charged him a fortune. The coke didn’t help with his predilection to slap women around. So, when he finally faced the music in 2015, it was no shock to my wife…she just shook her head at the screen…and asked, ‘What took so long?’

I taste the leaf stats. Nothing camera obscura about them. Easy and light. I have to stop telling myself what this logjam cost me. There are some good blends out there that hit you with a clobber in the first inch. This ain’t one of them. Waiting.

I was spent. Sonja was an animal during that first Curved Air tour. Of course, at that time, she was shedding her morphine addiction; her doctor had her mainlining methadone three times a day. She rolled over and said, ‘You know Phil…you can do anything you like.’ Blinking became impossible. And then she repeated it. I still couldn’t blink. There was nothing on the menu left to do. I had already done everything fun I could think of. To this day, I have no idea what she was inferring. So much for being a bold and riotous rock star bassist. I wish I had brought a ferret to bed with us.

The burn could be better. Don’t twined dead leaves understand that we want perfection? I could go on, but I won’t. I shall leave it to the pros to pontificate. Turn, turn, turn.

Does this cigar need years of humidor time. Probably. But I don’t have that kind of time on my dance card. Like CM told me…and I paraphrase: ‘If the manufacturer wants to put a disclaimer on the cello telling me to wait, I will wait…otherwise, the cigar is ready to go upon receipt.’ You go, girl.

I get no satisfaction saying that the early stages of this cigar are dull and void. Sure, it’s creamy and full of nutty cheeseball qualities. I’d be in trouble if I had to blind taste this cigar. I’d probably put it down…like a mad dog and Englishmen.

A perfectly acceptable time mate. Nice. No sudden jerks. A solid medium strength cigar. The idiot rich guys flash it at the coven colleagues and all nod in approval. A flick of the finger tells Jeeves to refill the $1200 scotch tumbler…a secondary flick means empty the colostomy bag. A tertiary flick means change the members’ socks as they are filling up with bullshit. Another Davidoff please.

This is a great $14 stick. Help me, Rhonda.

I dated this Jewish princess chick, and I thought a weekend in Palm Springs would be cool. I brought some Afghan opium for the occasion because I heard it was great for sex. We were lounging at the crowded pool when she decided that reading a book while in the doggie position was a good idea. Everyone stared. I whispered to her, “Um, sweetie…don’t you think sitting in the chaise lounge regular style would be better?” In a very perfunctory curt JAP style: “No, I don’t.” I shrugged to the other hotel guests and hid my face in my book. Later, I smoked opium for the first time and got all excited as I felt the drug surging through my body. The next morning, I awakened in the same position I was in when I had that thought…except instead of being on the bed, I was nose deep in plush carpet on the floor. That was it for me and opium. Don’t do drugs.

Am I too early to the scene of the crime? Probably. Do I taste potential? Probably. Do I think I’m fucking nuts for spending $54? Definitely. That’s 5-1/2 $10 lids.

I’m not crazy about slamming a cigar that a sponsor sells, but…if Hendrik Kelner was still blending for Davidoff, they’d be a better cigar company. The dew is off the what’s up tiger lily.

The halfway point arrives. Fahrvergnügen…shout out to Carsten.

Waiting…waiting…they say we’re young and we don’t know.

Recording a country album with western film star Chill Wills was a lot of fun. And the dough was good. It happened as my trip to Europe was being planned, so the money was a godsend. Wills had converted a storage space into a full tilt recording studio. His cowboy actor friends showed up regularly to get drunk as skunks. The big kahuna, John Wayne, showed up several times. The Duke could drink like a sailor on leave in Thailand. There was no wokeness in 1973. And The Duke liked to refer to me as ‘Jewboy.’ I kept my mouth shut because I needed the money for my trip. Turns out that while the man was a bigot, he was basically an all-right guy. He always treated me and everyone else with respect and graciousness. Whoda’ thunk it.

All political careers end in failure.

Blender’s intent. We can always taste it…if it exists. I taste intent to defraud.
If I scrunch my brain into a wet tea towel, I can sense light honey, milk chocolate, a single almond, three raisins, worn oak, and dense creaminess. I read the bullshit press release again. Ha. Someone got an ‘A’ in Creative Writing.

If the cigar had just an iota of richness. If the blend had some sign of complexity, a hint of transitional elements, or a scoche of hubris…this cigar would be lauded by the clamoring crowd. Instead, this is a fancy bar of soap.

It boils down to this…you check out the leaf stats. You decide if the manufacturer is dependable. And you puts your money down. Stick with what you know 80% of the time. Go crazy the other 20%. Taking the advice of a reviewer is folly. Me included. You are your best critic. Mic drop.

You can purchase the Davidoff Maduro from sponsor Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’)

RATING: 75

This has always been a free service because I love doing it. Your donations will simply allow me to maintain purchasing power in obtaining new cigars. Remember…to the cigar industry, I’m the antichrist. Don’t let the bastards win. You need my voice. Many thanks to all you kool kats .

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, davidoff cigars, Davidoff Maduro Toro | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, katman, phil kohn