Wrapper: Undisclosed
Binder: Undisclosed
Filler: Undisclosed
Size: 5 x 52 Robusto
Strength: Medium
Price: $11.80

My cigars received one month of naked humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
First released in 2014. I reviewed it that year. Then again released in 2018. Those releases had a Mexican wrapper and Nic guts. Probably the same this time. But then who knows? Comes in a Robusto and Toro.
No information about numbers released. This will undoubtedly be a very limited release.
A box of 20 includes a secret compartment of another 5 surprise cigars. Those extra five sticks are most probably a box pressed version of the same blend.

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I’m not sure if I am having a slow-moving aneurysm or my schnoz is just that good…but I smell an uncharacteristic breath taking amount of good stuff from the wrapper: Welch’s Grape Jelly (once again), lavender and rose petals, honey, dark chocolate, vanilla caramel, New Mexico poblano (how’s that for obscure), and dung.

The stick is a little pokey and gumby. My PerfecDraw lingers in the darkness. It comes out of the closet. Flags wave. Banners flatulate. Only requires one insertion and it’s done…like me in high school.

Stout little cigar. Feels good like I knew it would.

Not fucking around it isn’t. My being is wrapped by gay concierges. And swanky notes of fatitude. Heavy malt, black cherry is obvious, severe creaminess…no take that back: cream soda, baked taters, salty caramel, and an array of spicy peppers. Lawdy.

Andre Farkas just knows everything. He probably has my social security number.

I’m shocked at how this cigar takes it to the limit within the first seconds. It doesn’t build in that questionable first inch where we wonder what’s next. It gets down to business like a politician in the banjo wind. Mandolin rain.

The malted creaminess is just screaming laughter. Crazy Beer Nuts. Strength is medium but it signals higher ground awaits. Yesterday, I reviewed the wonderful Kelner blend Cartas de Amor Cigars ‘El Baile’. It too was described as a medium strength cigar. It pushed the limits of a stronger stick. The Cache is similar as it goes for the nuts in the second half.

You ever wonder how audiences half a century ago would react if shown violent cinema like John Wick or Liam Neeson? Pretty good actually. I saw the Hollywood opening of the 1969 movie “The Wild Bunch” (by director Sam Peckinpah). The first western in which bullets tore through flesh and blood gushed. The audience howled in appreciative laughter. Everyone had a swell time. Except for my date. She howled with tears because it scared her silly. I reminded her it was a movie. Nothing. I had to escort her into the lobby where we sat for a bit until she could control herself. I heard the throngs roaring and clapping and I was missing it. I did the right thing…I drove her home and never called her again. Next weekend, a buddy and I saw the film. He didn’t cry. I paid.

Yeah, I know this is a cigar review. 100 years from now, smokers will read my reviews and think I was mentally ill. Totally untrue…though typing is difficult while wearing a straitjacket. Badda boom.

Don’t rush your puffs. Savor. Let it breathe while it rests. Put at least two minutes between cigar to mouth. Extreme richness will levitate.

Ever get your schwanz caught in your zipper? Me neither. And now that I’m older, it is anatomically impossible.

The blend hovers at greatness. It glides like a suppository. The good kind. Transitions feel effortless. Complexity began when I removed the cigar from my humidor. Nuances and subtleties glisten in my dank man cave.

Strength hits medium/full as the second half is in spitting distance. My morning swoon awaits.

As a high school senior, I dated this lovely girl named Cherie. On our first date…that’s right, another BJ story…we were at the Los Altos Drive In and she made her move. I was shocked and in awe. Every time we went out. This was a first for me. Turns out she thought it was a requirement. At the time, I didn’t deep dive into how fucked up that was. But I actually…dig this…talked her out of it being an obligation every time we went out. She stopped returning my calls. My buddy, Mike, started dating her for obvious reasons. Cherie told him on their first date that what she did with me was wrong and would never do it again. Mike flew into Bob’s Big Boy (our hangout) yelling at me that I ruined her. I just smiled.

The cigar.

Absolutely brilliant blend. One of the best Viajes I’ve smoked.

If Andre Farkas was greedy, this could have been a more expensive cigar. I spoke to Andre last week and before I could say hello, he hung up on me. So, I called Dr. Rod and he let me say hello before he hung up on me. That is a good friend.

I hate it when cigar guys refuse to muster intelligence about the leaf stats. Why the fuck do they do this? Am I just a stupid cigar industry outsider that doesn’t get the telegram?

I’ve been a Viaje fanboy forever. Same league as Warped. Consistency of effort is seamless. But I only have so much money. So, I bought a fiver instead of a box because something new is looming from Warped that requires a box purchase. Damn, I wish I had Dr. Rod’s dough. We all do.

An unbroken string of distinction.

Reviewing this cigar at only a month of humi time is arrogant. But the blender’s intent is there for all to see. My new fiver will sleep with the fishes for months before I light one up. As there is no information about quantity of cigars released, I felt the need to bring this cigar to your attention, so that you don’t miss out. If you can afford a box, go for it. But a fiver is the least your broken wallet must do.

A blend for He-Men. If you drive a Nash Rambler, you don’t qualify.

Milwaukee has been horribly hot and humid. My cigars weep with moisture. Try using a silica desiccant to bring health and well-being back to your cigars. Experiment slowly by using a dry box and only a few cigars to test things out. Do not just throw packets in with your prized cigars. But it works. No charge.

I was in the car with my dad. ‘Barracuda’ by Pat Benatar came on the radio. Jubilantly, the old man bellowed, “That’s you.” I responded brilliantly, “No it isn’t.” He said yes it is. I said no it isn’t. This continued for a while. I gave in.

This has been a real treat. The Cache is the pompatus of love. I should have bought a box. I want to sit quietly nubbing this baby.

For less than $11 per stick after promo codes, this is a no brainer purchase.

You can purchase this blend from sponsor Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’).

RATING: 97

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: andre farkas, cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, katman, phil kohn, Viaje Cache Five Fifty Two 2024 | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, viaje cigars