Wrapper: Honduran Olancho San Agustín
Binder: Honduran Jamastran Valley
Filler: Honduran Jamastran Valley, Honduran Olancho San Agustín
Size: 5.75 x 56 Figurado
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $18.90
Factory: Plasencia Tabacos de Oriente S.A.
My cigars received 5 months of naked humidor time.
BACKGROUND:
From Luxury Cigar Club:
“Cortez is a new addition to the Cosecha 149 line, this 5.75×56 perfecto is truly an exceptional vitola for this blend. You can expect an ample draw, met with bold tasting notes, and a powerful retrohale.
“Plasencia’s Cosecha 149’s first 3 vitolas proudly received 90+ point ratings across them. You can count on the Cortez gaining the same traction!
“Cosecha means “Harvest” in Spanish, and 149 signifies the number of harvests since the Plasencia Family’s start in the tobacco business. The 149 is a Honduran puro sourced from multiple growing regions in the country. The tobacco is from 2014, thus aged for 10 years. Expect a smooth medium + bodied experience that does not lack in flavor or complexity. Notes of baking spices, cedar, and aged leather, are prominent.”
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Under the ghostly light of my shiny peeny, the oils glisten, the wrapper is a dark chocolate hue, and the shape looks formidable. The figurado is a toughie for any roller. The National Geographic nipple is historic.
Great smelling cigar. Zero barnyard. Floral notes and dark chocolate meld like Manischweitz and Chicharrónes (I grew up Reform). My aged skills allow me to clip a perfectly top knotted yarmulke:
I spent the weekend clubbing baby seals. For $425, a tour guide takes you to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan while drones find cute little things hiding with their mommas. The bat is a Louisville Slugger to keep things America First. It’s easy to swing and miss as the tour guide plays disco classics which lulls the momma seals into a docile trance but excites the pups. The legal limit is 3 baby seals or 2 baby seals and 1 Dominion voting machine. I can’t recommend this highly enough. Here is a link to find a baby-seal-clubbing club near you: http://www.supportdiscopups.org.
The draw is dead on arrival. If I only had a club. But I do…the PerfecDraw is my tool for beating tobacco plugs to death. A full thrust of the PD tool…and it’s spent.
Following the theme of great aroma is even a more bitchin cold draw: New Mexico chile peppers, cloves, freshly ground coffee beans, opulent earthiness, and dried dates.
First puffs tell the tale. Crusty baked bread, black coffee, and a mysterious sweetness. Every man of Scottish heritage I’ve ever met was killer funny. The water? The ale? The haggis?
The 56 girth is too big for my delicate mouth to form a decisive dangle like a 40’s noir private dick. I like my cigars to suspend precariously. My hole riddled clothes are a testament to my passion.
The burn is playing it cool:
Transitions kick in and we are on our way. I dig a cigar that wastes no time in impressing me. This blend is anything but subtle. It feels like my palate is dragged out of my mouth and it’s banged with a fucking mallet. As a result, I feel the kind of pain you get from a red ball and a leather harness. But will it maintain its integrity over the duration? I hope so.
Calvin (Aaron H.) Kush, my friend in NorCal, wrote 8 cannabis reviews for me in 2016 and 2017. He went to work for Amazon in 2018, and he hasn’t been the same since. I wonder what it’s like to live in a state where weed is legal? Wisconsin? Never going to happen.
There is lovely malt, espresso, cedar, baked bread, and caramel raisin ice cream with a touch of candied lemon peel. Nice counterbalance so early on.
Here’s how you make an ass out of yourself in a public forum with thousands of people in attendance: Yes, I was on stage somewhere in Europe. I bought a yo-yo earlier that day for my amusement. My plan was to interrupt Sonja while she was speaking to the audience between songs. I sidled up and stood next to her. I said nothing as I worked my yo-yo like a pro. No reaction. Just thousands of stares. To punish me for trying to be a showoff, without the master’s permission, violinist Darryl Way stomped his foot as he cried out a 4 count to introduce the next song. I ran back to my designated stage position, adjacent to Stewart’s drums, and fiddled my way into plugging the guitar cord into my amp. The band was 8 bars into the song before I joined in. Fucking band leaders. I gained nothing from being in that band other than a laundry list of reasons for not doing it again…and some stories I can tell 50 years after the crime.
Normally, my reviews are the first cigar of the day. The true test of any cigar is how does it perform after dinner. All that food in your belly. Your taste buds have been pounded. So how does it taste? Is it worth $20? If it makes you feel tranquil to the core, then yes, it is.
I remember a young woman saying to me, “I’m going to do something special for you.” When I awoke, I had no memory…except for a metallic trout taste in my mouth.
Ever go to a BBQ full of cops? After a few beers, they begin to tell work stories. Know how to shut them up? Tell them your membership with the ACLU is paid in full. And your medical license was revoked.
Flavors are grand and defined. Transitions are understated. The chewiness is textured with layers that swap out with minimalistic puffs. A cigar tastes so much better if you allow a couple minutes between puffs. I realize it tests our patience, especially when godamm cigars cost so much, but it’s worth it. Stretch ‘em out, boys. Savor my babies, savor.
This is a gorgeous photo of my elegant bass. It was time for someone else to love it:
Flavors begin to morph into a deep richness that minimizes the individual elements into a unique bouquet of one-ness. The driving thread of the blend is the morphing, One puff is full of chocolate and creamy coffee and the next is full of nuts and fruit.
Spiciness is right on the money. It lingers in the back of my throat without interrupting the flow of flavors.
Coffee butter slathered on sourdough bread. The first half was a straight-shooting blend, but the second half is the reason I’m here.
Something big is about to happen on November 1. Stay tuned.
The burn has remained razor sharp throughout.
The absolute best part of retirement is only shaving when I feel like it and never having to make a poop in a toilet with a stall door ever again.
The second half of this cigar is as stellar as when the vomiting stops after taking peyote. I was in the desert most of the time when I indulged, so you can shovel sand with your right foot until it is covered. It doesn’t bode well when a friend comes over to ask how you’re doing, and her sandal smooshes on ground zero.
The strength is tolerable. A good cigar for newbies to find adventure with.
I like this cigar. Which means you’ll like this cigar. I am Joe Average. I only come up with exotic and crazy flavors because I sit in front of a computer and must make some sort of shit up. Is the cigar good or is it ain’t? It is.
You should try taking a couple of big puffs and then roll the smoke in your mouth for a few seconds. After expelling the smoke, wonderful flavors will pirouette like a hippo in a tutu.
This cigar is Honduran done right. An exceptional blend. Nailed it.
The cigars come in four sizes: 4 .875 x 60 $12.00, 5 x 52 $13.00, 6 x 52 $14.50, and 5.75 x 56 $18.90. The price of the figurado towers above the other sizes. I’d go with the 5 x 52 next time.
You can purchase the Plasencia Cosecha 149 line from my sponsors Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’), and Cigar Page (15% off with promo code PLASENCIA15).
RATING: 96
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