Wrapper: Connecticut Broadleaf
Binder: Ecuadorian Habano
Filler: Nicaraguan Viso & Double Ligero
Size: 6 x 52 Toro
Strength: Full
Price: $10.50
Factory: Las Villas Cigars in Nicaragua ~ Master Blender Guillermo Pena
My cigars received 3 months of naked humidor time.
BACKGROUND:
From Paul Stulac Cigars:
“Paul Stulac Cigars are hand rolled in Nicaragua at Las Villas Cigars under the care of master blender Guillermo Pena. We use the highest-grade long filler tobaccos from Nicaragua and around the world. The Paul Stulac line of cigars is prized for impeccable construction and complex flavors that will appeal to the most discerning cigar smoker.”
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Between 2012-2014, I reviewed 15 Paul Stulac blends. Every blend was a champion. It was time to revisit the Paul Stulac line while we are still in the waning period of paleolithic man. I would like to introduce Paul Stulac Cigars to those of you who may not have had the chance to partake. You can visit my reviews here.
Around 2016, Paul receded from the big industry pow-wow because it required undying fealty to the Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Greed. Where profits are everything and honesty is a passing phase. Paul has never looked back. His business thrives more today than yesterday. Paul is a man that does not suffer fools. Paul is a serious man. And yet he still considers me a friend.
Paul works from his home in Canada producing not only the blends I fell in love with, but exciting new blends as well. He still maintains an office in Miami. While I maintain an office in Mayberry.
Wraparound: Smells of luscious barnyard sprinkled with Welch’s Grape Jelly, rich dark cocoa, light as air floral notes, and ferretized avocado toast.
Holy crap: All tobacco juggernauts are good examples of why the PerfecPunch & Stand™ was invented. This tubular log is a perfect fit, and the cap is strewn across the room to meet my need for authoritarian power. Dr. Rod invented the tool in 1775 while attending the inauguration of General Washington. Rod also fitted George for his false teeth.
Reacharound: The cold draw is vegetal. With subsidiary notes of red pepper, black pepper, cantaloupe, gingerbread, cinnamon, and dark chocolate.
The thing I love when I light a Stulac blend: All is given to me in a hallucinogenic flashback that this cigar is going to kick my bloody arse. Yeah, my babies. The cigar begins at full tilt strength…but smooth, my children. Very smooth.
Dark chocolate, espresso, black pepper, creaminess, Pontefract Cakes, and hazelnut. OK. You’ve seen these flavors a million times. There are no revelations other than this cigar’s presentation of those flavors is cooler than a popsicle stick shoved up Walt Disney’s arse. While displaying a beautiful richness…all before removing the cello.
This is my new fretless Ibanez bass. That’s not a scratching post. It’s me lying on my back stark naked. In droves, women fled the field of play when they saw that my rabbi took a little too much off the top…but the girth saw some women return to the scene of the crime…despite my balls hanging by a thread.
1” in and this is a good time had by all. Spicy meatball. I’m pretty sure I mentioned that it’s smooth. It is. Very nice. My mood is elevated.
If you are wussy in nature, this ain’t the cigar for you. Men with giant balls need only apply. Most Stulac blends are bait and kill. You think you’re OK at the start. And then the second half removes your kidneys and one teste. If you can finish the cigar, Paul will mail you the missing gonad. His word is good on this. But his enclosed note says get your own kidney. One out of two….
Ooh…ooh. Raspberry jelly is covered in a ring of milk chocolate. Lawdy, it’s a herfy seder.
Smoky in a good way. Oakiness spread with unsalted butter. This blend ain’t no schlemiel. It ain’t no johnny wad. It ain’t heavy, it’s your transitioning brother.
The first half was a dream. Transitions using a small applique of flavors were wonderful. Lightly complex. Very rich. Supple like a frog’s uterus. And wispy like a marmot’s clitoris.
It’s delicious.
An hour has passed. I wake up in a NYC subway. I am dressed in Ligero leaves.
Sophisticated travelers tip their hat and say, “Hi Paul.” I don’t know…Stulac is recognized everywhere.
My tongue stings from the ligero. The killer strength uses this as a way in. Dark flavors. But maintains a veritable silkiness of body and charm. Rarely do strong cigars provide memorizing allure. This one does.
Al Stewart ‘Year of the Cat.’ He was recording at Air Studios in London during the same time that Curved Air was mixing its 1975 Live album. Copeland and I got conned into playing on some of his tunes. A year later, I was driving to the liquor store, and I heard the song. It made my head spin as I tried to place it. Damn Louise. That’s me. When I saw drummer Stewart a couple years later, while he was touring with The Police, I asked him. He said yes…it was us. Neither of us got paid or got liner credit. Damn…I really hate the music business. I loved it too.
I was flabbergasted at the reaction to friends who watched me go down in flames. I was leveraged with every dime I had and the dimes of my investors. The project took off like a bat out of hell and then the F.B.I. shut Rocshire Records down. They were a high-level crime organization record label. My friends thought that there must be some way I should have been able to get my shit together after my shit was decimated by crooks. I tried. But the tendrils of criminal conspiracy had gone so deep that even being in a winning project couldn’t survive the F.B.I confiscating $200K of royalties on the cusp of being paid to me…I was just days away and celebrating with everyone. Didn’t love that so much.
Jelly and cocoa lead the pack. The underside of this belly is plump with black coffee and silky cream. The nuttiness is slightly generic. The black licorice has been constant. A thick butteriness makes everything smooth and libidinous. Way in the back field is tart lemon zest with a scoche of grapefruit. Caramel peeks and retreats. Pear supplants the raspberry. Transitionally, my double-jointed brain has been duped by the sleight of hand from the cigar’s complexity.
I can’t believe this stick has a price tag of only $10. The greedy cigar biz sticks needles into a Paul Stulac likeness to show him he’s not the boss.
Despite having killer strength, there is zero nicotine. Fortunately, I chose to review the RSS with a full belly. I’ve tried to smoke this tobaccular bullet with coffee in the morning. I blacked out both times. But with food in the gut, a very pleasant memorable and flavorful journey.
I salute Paul Stulac for giving the middle finger to the industry and doing his own thing. His success is our success.
You can purchase Paul Stulac Cigars from sponsor Small Batch Cigar. 15% off through Dec. 31, 2024, with promo code KATMAN.
RATING: 96
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