Illusione Cigares Privé Natural Corojo | Cigar Reviews by the Katman
Wrapper: Nicaraguan Corojo
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5 x 52 Robusto
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $9.00
Quantity Released: Regular Production
Release Date: 2016
My cigars received 7 months of naked humidor time.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Everyone loved this cigar as told by the mystics of reviewers past. So why am I bothering? Uhh…(mouth hangs open, jaw juts while staring at the ceiling…oh wait, save this for later when I declare Nice Smoke Output.).
Smells like the ozone is on fire and the wooded snares are in flames. Translation: Barnyard.
My PerfecPunch & Stand™ makes quick squirrel butter of the cigar’s cap. The draw is mildly fellated so I provide a double plug (so to speak) by asserting my PerfecDraw tool. Dr. Rod owes me $13.22 (2025 rates).
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Bawbwa-Ann. The cold draw is peanuts and caramel. Spicy black pepper atoning for its misdeed of covering up the blathering notes of dark cocoa and espresso.
Smooth as a caterpillar’s tushy. As effortitious as a stuck Fleet Enema. As sharp as a No.52 crystal plane. As slick as a mile of Elon’s bullshit. And as intense as Jehovah Witnesses at your door.
Reviewers all agreed on the following: Peanuts, peanut shells, cedar, espresso beans, dark chocolate, dried fruit, leather, and baking spices. So why am I bothering? Nice smoke output.
Strength modulates quicker than a moose can turn into gelatinous ethos. Wide open dilation lands like a 200lb ballerina. No fucking about here. The nice thing is that the aforementioned flavors come out to play early…allowing for additional arousal before settling down and letting the bar eat you.
Excellent cigars for $9 are now as rare as corpulent men finding their balls in three tries. Transitionally speaking and horizontally acknowledging, this blend hid in the woods for 9 years. Only to be overlooked by the snobbish elite in search of the wondrous $40 cigar. There is no such thing as a great quadruple sawbuck cigar blend. Smoke and mirrors. Yet the guys who have the dough fall for the scam faster than a wild marmot attacks rodentia in the Black Forest of Utah.
Creaminess is clearly evident. Peanut shells are a rougher equivalent than peanut butter and will do, my friends. Dried fruitiness is prunish. Chocolate is of the bittersweet variety. The balance is like holding a Dodger Dog in one hand and a bar of Dove in the other. One is for your mouth and the other…is for your mouth. Never say bad shit in front of mom.
My cousin Fred (a wealthy L.A. session player) ran the horn section for a couple of Elvis tours. Fred was a hard jazzer who was a gun for hire. Every concert, the accomplished reed player, was tasked to play a solo of “Dixie” on his flute in the middle of a tune. He hated playing it note for note every night so one evening he energized it. The audience loved it. After the gig, the band leader told him, “You ever fuck with Dixie again…You’re Fired!” As a consolation prize, he recorded the sax solo for me on “Whatever Happened to Eddie?”
All the boxes are checked. Mildly complex. Nice balance. Transitions are subtle. A lithe depth. Very flavorful. What else do you need?
You can purchase Illusione Cigares Privé in both Natural Corojo and Maduro from sponsor Small Batch Cigar. 10% off with promo code KATMAN.
RATING: 92
Partagás Serie D No. 5 | Cigar Reviews by the Katman
Wrapper: Cuban
Binder: Cuban
Filler: Cuban
Size: 4.325 x 50
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: €27 Euros
Box date: March 2022
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Smells of exotic golden honey and daffodils. Lighter notes of dried apricot, barnyard, milk chocolate, cinnamon laden clotted cream, and herbal tea.
This little bugger is plugged like one of Charlie Schink’s intestines after he insists on eating all his bratwurst and cheese curds but not touching his sauerkraut. My PerfecDraw curtsies and asks, ‘May I have another?’ I nod my head. It goes to work solving the ever-constant issue of clogged innards, typical of Cuban cigars.
In the dressing room before the concert, it was just the band and me. I impolitely whistled for his attention as I offered Sting a toot of blow. The boys ran out in San Francisco. This was early in his rock stardom, and I just couldn’t believe his friends used that stupid nickname, so the whistle was all I could come up with. Stewart bellowed at me, ‘His name is Sting motherfucker!!”’ Mr. Bassman really didn’t care what I called him as I passed the 98% pure. Morticia would have sufficed.
The cold draw is as magnificent as they come. Flecked flavors of cinnamon, vanilla custard, baked apple, milk chocolate, and caramel.
How does a $27 cigar earn its stripes after an impressive overture.
Wow. Initial performance pleases my palate. I lick my chops as I cultivate a gorgeous afternoon quickie. My tongue tingles from red pepper. The back of my throat picks up creaminess, lemongrass, milk chocolate, meaty walnuts, and fresh mint leaves that also touch the schnozal area.
I breathe in floral. Yeah, the cigar might be overstuffed but its plight makes for a nice slow burn.
The char line is manly. The wafting aroma reminds me of Purina Mink Chow.
Cubans rarely find any substantive value. Terrible weather. Terrible soil. Only a few brands/blends come out alive. This is one that survives that onslaught of terror from communism.
Everything is in overdrive. The body is full tilt, but the strength is a perfect medium. I love my medium atoll blends…but now and again, I pretend I’m only 60 and go for the nuts with a strong stick. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood for a weak stick.
Did you know that in the movie ‘The Last Waltz,’ frontman Robbie Robertson’s mic was turned off by the soundman while he was singing. Watch the movie again and pay attention. The man couldn’t sing for shit while high on too much cocaine.
Every show, violinist Darryl Way performed an excruciating solo using effects foot pedals that disguised the beautiful sound of his instrument…turning his solo into just noise. Each concert the audience endured a 10-minute fiasco. Drummer Copeland and I had roadies prepare a lovely bowl of hashish for us offstage and behind the curtain. Being comfortably numb, it allowed us to go back and play the band’s tedious theme song “Vivaldi” …just barely making it a little easier to take. What made the concerto episode interesting was that ‘Vivaldi’ was a chord progression conceived as a Circle of Fifths. You get lost and you’re fucked. And of course, we played the song double time for its finale. All Stewart had to do was play fucking drums. I had to remember the constant changing of the chords every four beats…never playing the same one twice. Drummers have it so easy.
Bam… cedar kicks in and its like whoofing the open cavity of a nicely aged humidor. Transitionally, the blend is confusing. The blitzkrieg of constantly moving flavors is like lying on your back underneath a fast-moving carousel. Yeah, we did that when we worked at Knott’s. My buddy Skip broke his arm flailing to get out. Management put their food down. Instead, we helped Security hunt down wild roosters for the kill.
Café au lait kicks in. It is an assault on my pewtered and declining brain.
Superb cigar. What are the odds. Dr. Rod smokes only Cubans. He is sophisticated gent. He smokes his Habanos while he drills patient’s teeth. A Jack Palance kind of dentist.
The second half begins at the 45-minute mark. Creaminess is all in. Lemon parfait. Muesli full of yogurt pieces and almonds. A nougaty chocolate with gooey caramel not dissimilar from a Mars Bar. Cinnamon dusting apricot honey. And that cedar is just relentless. Great cigar.
Spiciness morphs from red to black to white. An intelligent cigar blend.
Such a smooth cigar. What a pleasure.
Would I spend $135 for a fiver? In a heartbeat. If you know a reliable seller, comment below.
RATING: 97
Check out Katman’s Kartel at Small Batch Cigar and score deals on cigars from My Top 32 Cigars of 2023 ~ Rated 96 or Higher! Use promo code: KATMAN for 10% off.
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
IHavanas from Switzerland is reliable. Don’t know what their current pricing is, but I’ve ordered multiple times with no problem.
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I have had good luck with iHavanas, PuroExpress and FOHcigars. If you go to reddit and join r/cubancigars, look on the right for the “useful information” drop down. You’ll see “online stores for US”. It lists 17 places where you can shop for Cuban cigars, most with guaranteed delivery. This forum deserves a close look!
Hit the cigar groups on FB too. There are some invitation only groups that lead to the US shadow market where you can buy vetted, legit Cubans already stateside. How to get invited? Post in the public cigar groups and express interest in Cubans. Eventually someone will spot you and you will get invited to the private groups.
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Thanks Charlie…
Phil
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Funny you mention Robbie Robertson today. Don’t know if you have Netflix but I just watched a doc last night about Norman’s Rare Guitars. RR is featured quite a bit in it. There’s a part about Spinal Tap and how he supplied the Marshall amps for the movie that go to 11. Made me think to myself if the Katman has ever been there knowing you lived in SoCal. It’s mostly about all the famous musicians and regular folk who love guitar and have “hung out” there through the years. I wish it went more in depth on how he procured all these rare guitars but none the less I’m glad I watched it. Very interesting and it may be something to watch while enjoying a nice cigar. Glad you’re back, and I still enjoy reading your highly entertaining writing! Wishing you a happy and healthy 2025.
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Hi Matthew,
I bought my brand new 1980 fretless Schecter from Norm’s. I thought $1000 ($3800 in 2024 dollars) for a bass was excessive but I felt love at first sight. Still, I left and went home. I thought of that bass incessantly, so I returned the next day. The lovely salesman told me that the price went up $100. I said, “But…it was only $1000 yesterday.” He responded, “That was yesterday.” That pissed me off as I counted out hundred-dollar bills. I recently sold my bass to Guitar Motel. They created a museum for their favorite 800 electric guitars and basses. My Shecter is the only fretless in their collection.
Thanks for your comment.
Phil
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