More booty from the coffers of Small Batch Cigar.
You gotta work for this one.
There will be 2 Grand Prize Winners.
One winner will be chosen by me.
And one winner will be chosen by Small Batch Cigar.
What’s the catch?
You doubloon sucking privateers must ask me the most interesting questions that the cosmos has ever seen.
As the head coxswain, I will provide the most stimulating and remarkable answers imaginable.
To enter the contest, you must be a resident in the Continental U.S.
You may enter as many as three times.
Get it off your chest…anything goes. Hold nothing back. Push me. Pull me. Tug me.
I shall be the arbiter of taste. Who knows where this wreck might careen?
The worthiest questions will be memorialized on the Small Batch Cigar website.
EACH WINNER WILL RECEIVE:
1x Montecristo Doble Diamante Decanter
1x Camacho Coffee Mugs (case of two)
1x AVO Tabletop Torch
1x DE Blackened War Wagon Ashtray
1x Camacho Single-Flame Torch
1x Camacho Cigar Stand
1x AVO Four-Finger Travel Humidor
1x Davidoff Travel Flask, Glasses, and Ashtray Unit
1x Davidoff Travel Flask and Two-Finger Case
1x Rocky Patel Single-Flame Torch
1x Nica Rustica Humidor
The contest begins now.
The contest ends on January 15 at 11:59pm CT.
P.S. Mucho gracias to Small Batch Cigar for their unwavering support.
DON’T FORGET!
Check out Katman’s Kartel at Small Batch Cigar and score deals on cigars from My Top 32 Cigars of 2023 ~ Rated 96 or Higher! Use promo code KATMAN for 10% off.
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS, CONTEST
what is the worst advice, although maybe people recommend, to give a new cigar smoker?
As a musician, what was the best venue to play in?
Is there a cigar brand that has turned you off so much that you refuse to smoke now?
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Q: What is the worst advice, although maybe people recommend, to give a new cigar smoker?
A: So many…1) Go ahead and cut your cigar in thirds to make it last. 2) Go ahead and cut around an inch off the cap. 3) Only buy what’s cheap. 4) Get all your cigar advice from the guy slinging drinks at the cigar lounge. 5) Cigar Aficionado can be trusted.
Q: As a musician, what was the best venue to play in?
A: The biggest thrill for me was the Whisky a Go Go. It was my hometown turf. My second favorite was the Liverpool Boxing Stadium. It was so dank but so cool. Sound was great. Huge place. And the dressing rooms stank of sweat from old boxers. The gladiators, not the underwear.
Q: Is there a cigar brand that has turned you off so much that you refuse to smoke now?
A: I refuse to smoke Davidoff. Yeah, I’ve reviewed them. But there was always a gun to my head. I won’t buy them for my daily or monthly smokes. They have access to seriously aged Dominican tobacco, but they overcharge times ten. Currently, in regular production, is the Davidoff Oro Blanco Special Reserve 111 Years. Only $750 per cigar. HW gave it an 88.
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what was the toughest decision you ever had to make and it was the wrong one? Marriage/girlfriends don’t count:)
what does a perfect day look like today and one 30 years ago?
If you could listen to only one song the rest of your life what would it be and why?
thanks katman can’t wait hear
Wesley burdette
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Q: What was the toughest decision you ever had to make, and it was the wrong one? Marriage/girlfriends don’t count:)
A: That’s easy. 1975. I abandoned the possibility of furthering my music career in England to bring my girlfriend and her daughter home to L.A. I never went back. I was young and naïve. Who knows what could have been…but regrets? That way lies madness.
Q: What does a perfect day look like today and one 30 years ago?
A: 30 years ago (Age 45): In the studio with my blues band and cranking out 5 stellar and complex tunes on the first take…all done live.
Today (Age 75): Smoking a cigar in Northern Wisconsin on a sunny May day. And losing myself playing bass for 4 hours and wondering where the time went.
Q: If you could listen to only one song the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
A: Must choose two: “My Favorite Things” by John Coltrane. And “Penny Lane” by The Beatles.
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wow thanks those answers were so cool as get a glimpse to who the katman was and is. Love it !
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Last year, you had one on one meetings with many of your readers via Zoom.
Did you find any surprising common threads among these people. Obviously, most or all were men, but were there other commonalities in terms of education, personality type, vocation, hobbies, etc.?
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Q: Last year, you had one on one meetings with many of your readers via Zoom.
Did you find any surprising common threads among these people. Obviously, most or all were men, but were there other commonalities in terms of education, personality type, vocation, hobbies, etc.?
I had cigar zooms with over 50 guys. Every man jack of them was an interesting hominid of preposterous proportions. Each guy was unique. And every guy was much smarter than me…no shit. If this was a slice of my readership, I am blessed and grateful…and I certainly don’t deserve it.
I had such a good time. But I discovered I didn’t have the stamina for so many encounters. I also didn’t plan the structural part of it well. I have the memory of an old man, and I failed to figure out how to impress upon myself afterwards as to who was who? I’d like to do it again very soon. This time, I will plan it better.
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1-What is the biggest regret of your life?
2-If you could smoke a cigar with anyone from any period of time, who would it be and why?
3-what’s the best invention of all time?
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Q: What is the biggest regret of your life?
You just can’t have regrets. I know that sounds like bullshit motivational speak…but you can’t if you want to keep moving forward…to keep that serpentine shifting and evolving. You make your decisions and either you learn to live with them and adapt…or you become a muddled mess of a human. I am constantly and perpetually despised by most in the cigar industry. My writing style is an abomination to these people. Other cigar reviewers won’t speak to me. Would I be happier if I towed the line? Not a fucking chance. I am who I am. Popeye was right. Find your true center and make waves.
Q: If you could smoke a cigar with anyone from any period of time, who would it be and why?
A: Ooh that’s a good one. Abraham Lincoln and William Shakespeare. At the same time. I’d ask Abe to write a review for me…and then I’d tell my readers it was me. I wouldn’t ask Shakespeare to write a review because no one would know what the fuck he was saying…oh wait.
Q: What’s the best invention of all time?
A: The cigar cutter and Elon Musk’s income tax calculator.
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Katman makes a cigar….
*what would the blend consist of
*what would the cigar look like
*now name it
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Q: Katman makes a cigar….
*what would the blend consist of
*what would the cigar look like
*now name it
A: Wrapper: Ecuadorian Rosado Oscuro & Dominican H192 (Double wrapper).
Binder: Peruvian Pelo D’Oro Viso
Filler: Brazilian Mata Fina, Dominican Monte Plata, Cuban, US Connecticut River Valley Broadleaf Ligero
Appearance: It would be slick, oily, dark, without veins, and as solid as railway tie.
Name: Moon Steps
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6 country blend, impressive.
love the name, I’ll take a box of 25, please.
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2. What cigar duo is the Lennon/McCartney of the past 30 years? Don Pepin and Pete Johnson? AJ and whoever he’s working with today? Someone else?
3. If you and Johnny Piette were to blend a cigar, what would the ideal wrapper/binder/filler mix be? Would it be different if it were you and Jeremy Casdagli?
4. If you could own and manage a cigar lounge in any city (with an angel investor putting up ALL the cash), what city would you choose?
5. What beverage would you choose to pair with your favorite 2 or 3 cigars from the past year? Bonus if you want to offer a nonalcoholic drink, a beer, a wine, and a spirit.
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Q: On the synesthesia front- What cigar is the tobacco equivalent to: Howlin Wolf? Stevie Ray Vaughan? Billy Lee Riley? Jerry Lee Lewis?
Howlin Wolf: Viaje Honey & Hand Grenades The Falchion Maduro. SRV: Meerapfel Cigar Meir Master Blend Churchill. Billy Lee Riley: DT&T Muestra de Saka The Bewitched. Jerry Lee Lewis: OpusX Forbidden X 13 Pasion D’Amor 2020.
Q: What cigar duo is the Lennon/McCartney of the past 30 years? Don Pepin and Pete Johnson? AJ and whoever he’s working with today? Someone else?
It’s Jeremy Casdagli and Hendrik Kelner by a landslide.
Q: If you and Johnny Piette were to blend a cigar, what would the ideal wrapper/binder/filler mix be? Would it be different if it were you and Jeremy Casdagli?
Piette is all about Ecuadorian wrappers and Nicaraguan guts. An astute blender but he is secretive, and I don’t have a clue how he blends.
Casdagli is very inventive and finds the best farmers on the planet. I’d be more comfortable working with Jeremy. Daughters of the Wind is my favorite blend. I wish it had a little more octane in the tank, but with 3-6 months naked humidor time, you can’t beat it. One of the most flavorful cigars.
Q: If you could own and manage a cigar lounge in any city (with an angel investor putting up ALL the cash), what city would you choose?
There is no such thing as a profitable cigar lounge. Almost all lose money. I worked in Piette’s Milwaukee lounge in 2021. It’s not a fun gig. Most customers know very little about cigars. And most are not willing to learn. Lounges are cliquish. I don’t like cliques. Even before that, I never really enjoyed my cigar lounge experience.
I know there are exceptions. I’ll take a pass…send me the dough anyway.
Q: What beverage would you choose to pair with your favorite 2 or 3 cigars from the past year? Bonus if you want to offer a nonalcoholic drink, a beer, a wine, and a spirit.
I love the taste of beer and spirits. I’m just not a connoisseur. Alcohol has never agreed with me. One drink and I’m out cold. I drink Sam Adams JUST THE HAZE IPA non-alcoholic. I take sips of Charlotte’s fine bourbons (Weller, Maker’s Mark, Elijah Craig, etc.). I’ve always loved Glenfiddich scotch. An Atkins chocolate protein shake enhances the taste of maduros. I love water to keep the experience virgin-like.
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If you could go back in time and put together a band with any musicians of your choosing and yourself on bass, what would that band look like? What would you name it?
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Q: If you could go back in time and put together a band with any musicians of your choosing and yourself on bass, what would that band look like? What would you name it?
These names came up without thinking:
Jeff Beck on guitar.
Hal Blaine on drums.
Airto Moreira on percussion.
Steve Winwood on vocals.
Ella Fitzgerald on vocals.
Flora Purim on vocals.
Aretha Franklin on backup vocals.
James Taylor on backup vocals.
Ray Charles on backup vocals.
George Duke on Fender Rhodes piano.
Herbie Hancock on acoustic piano.
Jimmy Smith on Hammond B3 organ.
Tommy Dorsey on trombone.
Wynton Marsalis and Miles Davis on trumpets.
John Coltrane on sax.
And Jaco Pastorius in the audience to tell me what I’m doing wrong.
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In all of your gigs, was there one that stands out as THE one where everything clicked with the other musicians as a very memorable one?
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It was a dream. Some large dance venue in Holland. Can’t remember the name. Copeland and I went to this after-hours club upon finishing our Curved Air concert. Best audio sound of anyplace I have ever been in. The cherry was Page and Plant happened to be there because they had finished a gig too. They got up with us and jammed…I think I passed out.
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During the cigar boom years of the early 1990’s, what was your favorite cigar that is not available now?
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Q: During the cigar boom years of the early 1990’s, what was your favorite cigar that is not available now?
A: Cuban Flor de Cano Short Churchill
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Who would you choose, 5 people, to have a celebration dinner with alive/dead and why
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Q: Who would you choose, 5 people, to have a celebration dinner with alive/dead and why
A: My grandpa Sam Siegel (1900-1952) and my grandpa Harold Kohn (1896-1979). Both smoked cigars. They’d have gotten a kick from my blog. Harold Kohn was best friends with Julius C. Newman.
My mother Frances (1926-1968). She never met my wife of 40 years or our daughter and grandsons.
Stanley Kubrick. I would love to get into that mind. The man who made “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
Alfred Einstein. The humanity.
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Great list!
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Dr. Strangelove, my all time favorite movie.
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It’s in my top 10.
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Best 3 pieces of advice for an 18 yr old(male/female/other)
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1. Never move back home. Find your independence. Don’t be a burden.
2. Don’t get pregnant or get anyone pregnant. It will fuck up your life. Wait. Wait. Wait.
3. Start smoking cigars immediately.
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1: If you could only smoke one cigar, every day for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
2: Of all of your setlists, what was the one song that you really looked forward to playing every night?
3: In your whole life, what was your favorite vehicle that you wish you still owned, and why?
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Q: If you could only smoke one cigar, every day for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
A: Casdagli Daughters of the Wind Calico.
Q: Of all of your setlists, what was the one song that you really looked forward to playing every night?
A: It certainly wasn’t Curved Air. The first Live Album tour was a blast because the songs and the big-time experience were new. But for the next year, the same fucking songs every night. A shit hole time…but the traveling, sex, and drugs made it a killer experience. I loved playing live much more once I decided I needed to make a steady living. I went straight at 35…and used my degree to get work as a commercial construction manager. Playing in exquisitely good blues bands was a real kick. Always great music. But my favorite time was in the studio by myself. I owned my Long Beach recording studio for 5 years. How do you get gigs as a session bassist? Raise your hand when the customer asks if you know a good bass player. I couldn’t produce and play bass at the same time…too many working cogs. The studio would shut down around 11pm. Everyone would go home but me. I’d sit in the control booth with my bass and a cable attached to the console while I played direct. I would hit the Record Button over and over to make my notes perfect. All night long…like the song. I’d go home at 7am and I was so jazzed I couldn’t sleep so I went into the studio to blearily help my engineer with sessions.
Q: In your whole life, what was your favorite vehicle that you wish you still owned, and why?
A: My 1965 VW Westfalia Camper. I sold it in 1974 and have missed it ever since. I was the limo driver for all my friends on journeys to concerts. I didn’t have to hold the lit joint as it was a precursor to being inside a vape. How do you stuff 12 people into a VW camper? I don’t remember.
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If a cigar could narrate its own journey from seed to ash, what would its personality be? Would it see itself as an epic hero, a tragic figure, or something else entirely?
Imagine a parallel universe where cigars are currency. Which cigar do you think would be worth a million dollars, and why?
If cigars could be sentient beings, which blend would make the best villain in a Hollywood blockbuster, and what would their evil plan be?
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Q: If a cigar could narrate its own journey from seed to ash, what would its personality be? Would it see itself as an epic hero, a tragic figure, or something else entirely?
A: Put your shrooms dealer in touch with me please. We need to pull back on your dosage.
Q: Imagine a parallel universe where cigars are currency. Which cigar do you think would be worth a million dollars, and why?
A: Davidoff Rodentian NYC Maduro/Marmotian Viso CXII ~ Aged 435 Years. Only worth $300K but Davidoff needs to make a buck.
Q: If cigars could be sentient beings, which blend would make the best villain in a Hollywood blockbuster, and what would their evil plan be?
A: The 1901 Capitolio was destined for fame when it was passed from generation to generation of cigar smokers. In 1932, it was the brains behind the Great Train Robbery in Luxembourg, Virginia. On VE Day in 1945, the cigar secretly stole Alfonse Capone’s syphilitic legs as a restrained act of revenge because Scarface smoked the Capitolio’s great aunt Capitolia in 1909. In 1967, the Capitolio brewed up the first known batch of bad acid in a San Franciso basement while smoking a Newport Light. In 1999, the Capitolio recorded two Prince songs just before the power was disrupted on Y2K. In 2012, the Capitolio was discovered to be behind the giant push for selling gold coins declaring to the American public that the dollar is worthless. On Jan. 6, 2025, the Capitolio is scheduled to clandestinely show up as the logo for Aunt Jemima Jalapeno Popper Mix. Contact Markus at #BodeenMaximus to sign the petition for the Capitolio be made Speaker of the House…Free the Pancake Batter!
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Ok Katman, in my time smoking cigars some of the best were enjoyed in good company and conversation. So much so everytime I smoke that cigar I remember who I was with, where it was and the conversation.
looking forward to the answers.
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Q: Where was the most memorable cigar smoking experience you have ever had?
Q: Who is the most memorable company you enjoyed a cigar with?
A: The first thing that came to mind was a herf from 50 years ago. I was in Zurich Switzerland touring with Curved Air. On a few dates, we supported Larry Coryell and the Eleventh House. Larry was the godfather of jazz fusion guitar and a collaborator with John McLaughlin, Chick Corea, Miroslav Vitouš, Billy Cobham, Lenny White, Emily Remler, Al Di Meola, and Paco de Lucía…to name just a few.
I was 25. Larry was 32.
After a gig, Larry invited the band to smoke some Cubans in his hotel room. Larry’s bandmates Randy Brecker and Alphonse Mouzon didn’t smoke cigars. None of my bandmates had ever smoked a cigar either. Me? Ha. Curved Air members tried but lasted less than an half an hour and had to leave with skin complexions akin to Kermit the Frog. Coryell and I stayed up all night chain smoking…and talking about music. Everything from Miles Davis to Jimi Hendrix to Gábor Szabó. I returned to my room around 6am and got a couple hours of sleep. I moseyed over to the hotel restaurant for coffee and found Sonja, Darryl, Stewart, and Mick sitting quietly with uneaten food in front of them. I never said a thing about the previous hours. And they never asked.
Q: And what was the most memorable cigar you have smoked?
A: I’m sorry to disappoint but nothing comes to mind. It is impossible to look back at 57 years of cigar smoking and be able to pick out just one cigar. The math says I’ve smoked over 40,000 cigars in my life. My favorites have always been Padron, OpusX, Casdagli, Viaje, Warped, Saka, Tatuaje, Partagas Serie D, and Cohiba Behike. The best of the best is represented by 10 years of my top 25 lists.
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Sounds like a great time! I can’t name just 1 smoke either.
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So, it was OK to put the pressure on me for the greatest cigar of all time! Dude…
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non cigar question.
if money is no object any rare bass guitars or other instruments you would purchase to play or collect.
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Q: if money is no object any rare bass guitars or other instruments you would purchase to play or collect.
A: Easy. The Alembic Stanley Clarke Deluxe Walnut short scale bass guitar.
Only $20,000.
My first two bass guitars were short scale. A 1964 Hofner and a 1970 Gibson EBO. In 1975, the brain trust of Curved Air thought it would be better if I played a long scale Fender Precision. Martin Turner of Wishbone Ash sold me his 1969 model. It took me a while to get used to it and the delay affected my chops. I had to relearn everything. It was a stupid move on the part of my betters and even stupider of me for allowing it to happen. I eventually became fluent using the Fender Jazz bass and models of the same style design…like my 1980 Schecter.
I got hooked on Stanley Clarke’s fluidity on the short scale. Plus, the sound of his Alembic is unmatched.
I’d love to have one. I will send you my address. Thanks.
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With increasing pressure from anti tobacco / smoking advocates, what do you think the cigar landscape will look like 10 years from now?
Why do you do what you do?
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Q: With increasing pressure from anti-tobacco / smoking advocates, what do you think the cigar landscape will look like 10 years from now?
A: The professionals in this business have no idea what the future looks like from year to year. 10 years from now, we may be on Mars. Genetic diseases may see a cure. There might be a mini-ice age due to a decrease of solar activity by 1%. Medicaid will go broke because 35-year-olds will have irrevocable carpal tunnel from iPhone intoxication and be unable to work causing a slowdown of the national economy.
This will cause an increase of cigar smoking by 17% in the United States. A Tatuaje Black will be $86. All the while the cigar industry claims the cost of tobacco farming is the reason for their margin to increase by 1600%.
Q: Why do you do what you do?
A: It was the perfect match of two lifelong passions: writing and cigars. To find a creative outlet during my twilight years was a true godsend. Finding an audience so early on surprised me. It was all about timing, and I understand this. I was fortunate to carve my own niche where there was a void. While not everyone agrees with my conclusions, they visit to see what the crazy old man has to say. While some find it boring that I talk about days gone by, others find a historical underpinning in the topics I discuss.
So why do I do what I do? Can’t help myself…
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In several reviews you have stated that a cigar is strong but has no nicotine. “Despite having killer strength, there is zero nicotine”- Paul Stulac Red Screaming Sun review
Can you elaborate on what you mean by this?
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I often play a little fast and loose with those words.
Strength is most often associated with nicotine as in what the ligero leaves pump out. A full-strength cigar can be mild bodied…as it becomes listless as the blend was not cohesive.
Body is the complexity, the richness, the transitions, and the depth. A full-bodied cigar need not be full strength. The body drives your pleasure neurons. The ligero and nicotine are there to make you reel and recoil.
I am not sure if what I experience is something out of body or out of my mind. But I can often smoke a full-strength cigar and not experience nicotine poisoning. Sure, I feel the full weight of the composition of tobacco leaves…but it’s a good ride, not a downer.
I researched this a little before responding to your comment.
And I no more understand what the hell I am saying than before.
It may only be an individual reaction. Sometimes I smoke a full-strength cigar like a Stulac or Padron and those last couple of inches are borne of terror…other times, not so much. Why is that?
I wish I had an answer…but as I write my reviews contemporaneously and, in the moment, I am only recounting an immediate reaction to what I’m smoking. Besides, ask anyone in the industry…the katman don’t know shit about cigars.
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I also have similar experiences with strong cigars. Sometimes the same cigar that I found milder or had no ill effects from smoking will put me on my ass, even after making sure to smoke on a full stomach.
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As a new cigar smoker I have read about retrohaling, but have not actually tried it. How important do you think the retrohale is in terms of maximizing the enjoyment of a cigar?
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I no longer retrohale. After decades of sucking smoke into my sinuses, they eventually became obliterated. It does add an interesting adjunct in enjoying your expensive smokes by expanding the way flavors can be absorbed.
If you have virgin sinuses, this link will take you to a good outline for beginners on how to do it properly.
“How to Retrohale a Cigar”
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Why did you part ways with your musical love the Schecter fretless dream machine? She is so damn beautiful. I’ve had this mental picture of you for years tuning out the world with fingers flying over her strings for hours every week. What bass do you play now to appease your musical soul?
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Q: Why did you part ways with your musical love the Schecter fretless dream machine? She is so damn beautiful. I’ve had this mental picture of you for years tuning out the world with fingers flying over her strings for hours every week. What bass do you play now to appease your musical soul?
A: I am a 75-year-old man. I had the pleasure of owning the Schecter for over 40 years. My arthritis is taking no prisoners. My 2001 skydiving accident has come home to roost. I can no longer play live hanging that 20lb Brazilian Rosewood Schecter off my shoulder for four sets. It wasn’t fair to hoard such a fine instrument. My daughter is not a musician…if she was, I would have held on to it for her. It was time to let it go. I received fair compensation from Guitar Motel for the bass. They have 800 electric guitars on display. They do not sell their museum collection…for looky loos only. My Schecter is only one of four fretless basses they own.
I recently bought a new Ibanez SR500F Fretless semi-hollow bodied bass guitar. I changed out the steel flat wounds for D’Addario Nylon Tape flat wound strings that provide a splendid natural sound. The axe is very light. The neck is every bit as playable as my Schecter. I can sit happily for hours with a drum machine and a practice amp. I’m at peace…but thank you for asking. Musicians know how sentimental other musicians can be over their very special instruments.
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Thanks for the very personal postulation. I’m glad to know you’ve found both a way to share your personal life’s love with us all while adopting a new lovely assistant. Not being familiar before with the Guitar Motel its a fantastic collection of both exceptional and personal artists axe’s and equipment. Entering my 66th year and newly unemployed I’ve encountered a similar physical influential impediments. Not that I’ll willingly give a single inch. I’ll continue to age cigars like I’m a Marvel Immortal! thanks Katman you give us immortals emotional aspiration. And a good laugh at the same time.
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Dear Katman,
Your dedication to your art form is appreciated. You are an inspiration.
BR,
Bill
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Q: What does the schedule of your ideal smoking day look like? Pretend you’re on death row about to kick the bucket tomorrow and you could have a full day to smoke whatever you’d like. What sticks in what order?
A: I get up early. This bad habit is left over from 35 years as a construction manager and being accessible to the field crews for questions before they headed to the jobsites. For most of my career, I was at work by 5-6am. I carry this tradition in shame as I’d love to re-learn how to sleep in.
I start the day with a good cup of coffee. I indulge in boutique blends. Since I only drink two cups a day, the cost is not prohibitive. Once my heart starts, the evil desire to smoke a good cigar awakens. I wait till I finish my coffee. Why?…just part of my ritual. I grab a bottle of water and light my first cigar of the day. I smoke the next cigar around 10am, then around 1pm…and my last is after dinner. If I try to smoke more than 4 cigars per day, my palate becomes too crispy to taste anything. Since the average cost of a boutique cigar is $16, our filthy little habit gets expensive. Life is too short to smoke average cigars.
It isn’t so much about what brand I smoke; it is about the blend that I feel is perfect for a specific part of the day. The morning smoke is good for in the mild/medium field of strength but full bodied; anything Daughters of the Wind-like (Ecuadorian wrapper, Dominican binder, fillers from the DR, Peru, or Costa Rica). The next cigar must be a medium strength with a full body…like a Warped La Colmena (Similar to the Casdagli blend). The 1pm needs a kick in the arse to restart my heart because the caffeine has left my system: Something like an Aging Room Rare Collection or anything by Tatuaje. For dinner, I want serious quality: Muestra de Saka The Bewitched, a Viaje, something by Meerapfel or Alfonso, or maybe a Padron.
Q: What are your general guidelines for resting/aging cigars? I know you’re a proponent of a several month rest… which cigars benefit the most from a rest and which benefit the most from several years+ aging? Also, what relative humidity is perfect for you?
A: If I feel a cigar will be better off with serious aging, I drop them, cello and all, into my long-term humidor. I may check on these cigars in 6 months, remove the cellos,, and let them rest another couple of months. If I want to smoke something sooner, I remove the cellos upon receipt and pop them in my short-term humidor where I will visit once again in 3 months. I have a humidor I call Impatience Ground Zero. I want to see what the blender has in store, so I remove the cellos and within a week or two, I try one to see if it speaks to me; does it give me a hint of what will come. I am like every other cigar smoker. I want to see what I’ve gotten myself into when I spend $80-$120 for a fiver. Padron, OpusX, and Cuban cigars all need at least 2-3 years of humi time before I light one up. Of course, the humidor with my review cigars has rules all to itself…and that’s a secret…because I can’t remember.
Q: Which cigar would you say has the strongest note of Marmot? I am trying to refine my palate.
A: Marmotte flavors are best produced by #10 rollers from the great state of North Montana. Rollers are raised from infants to pick the best leaves for perfect construction. They train on dental floss farms. From 12-17, they must live with a family of flying squirrels avoiding moose at all costs. At 18, they are moved across the country to an undisclosed location where they live with trained Mastiffs. They get daily yard exercise dodging Xikar cutters that have dull edges after 16 cigars. They learn to sense dipwad Gurkha lovers or poor little rich boys that love to show you their Davidoffs. At 21, the rollers are sent to Gitmo where they interact with staff to find out what they love to smoke. This lasts 2 weeks. Upon their 22nd birthday, they are returned to South Nebraska where they must hitch back to Saskatchewan, across Indian land and casinos. If they can do it on $50, they are welcomed by the Glorious Yenta Maven Ferret of Southern Canuck. These rollers sell their wares on TikTok under the tutelage of Charli D’Amelio. This is an ugly story of territorial behavior and wrongdoings. Never say no to your oldest daughter or some dark and gloomy night, Mav. Ferret will visit and damage any chance of her ever marrying someone with a community college diploma.
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Q: If you could revive one limited edition or discontinued cigar, what would that be?
A: Tough question. First thing that came to mind is my #1 Cigar of 2017. StarDust by Isabela Cigars. A corona (5 x 42) that was comprised of all the ingredients for a perfect blend. It was the map that many followed in the years since: Wrapper: Ecuadorian Des Florada, Aged Nicaraguan Habano (Double aged Nicaraguan Habano picked “Prieto”). Binder: Nicaraguan Aged Media Tiempo. Filler: Nicaraguan Aged Media Tiempo, Nicaraguan triple aged Ligero. And only $8.00.
Q: What cigar has surprised you the most in a good way, compared to what you expected before lighting it?
It is too difficult to describe, or remember, just one cigar. Instead, Freud Cigars comes to mind as a new company that, despite its name, cranks out excellent cigars blend after blend. Eladio Diaz (Davidoff Cigars) and William Ventura (Davidoff Cigars) partnered up under the guidance of founder David Stadnyk in 2022. They swung for the fences and pretty much got a home run with every release. Their cigars aren’t cheap ($20-$40 ea)…a bad habit they learned at Davidoff. But unlike their former employer, you can rely on Freud’s quality. The Freud Super Ego was my #19 pick in 2022. I gave a 97 to Freud Limited Edition Sigmund Chapter One: The Disruptor in 2023. I gave a 98 to Freud Limited Edition Agape in 2023. Why did I not expect this? The name: Freud Cigar Co. An homage to Dr. Sigmund Freud…the man who brought his massive cocaine habit and penis size into the public consciousness.
Q: If you’re smoking cigars with Einstein, would you rather talk about his scientific work, the many, many women in his life, or something else?
Theoretical physics would have to be off the table. If he wants to talk geometry, then I’m his guy. I wouldn’t interview him. I’d talk to him. I doubt I’d lead the conversation but if given the chance, I might insist we speak about his philosophy of how we got here, Mozart, why he was initially against the creation of the state of Israel, the League of Nations, Vladmir Lenin, civil rights, and maybe cigars.
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Should I open cigars in a tube to age in humidor or keep the cap sealed?
if I don’t open the tube container, how long will cigar stay humidified?
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Q: Should I open cigars in a tube to age in humidor or keep the cap sealed?
A: Tubos are not airtight, but I remove the cap when my cigar is soaking up the juices of my humidor. It ensures that airflow is delivered to the entire cigar. Leave the cap in the humidor so you can seal it before heading to your herf.
Q: if I don’t open the tube container, how long will cigar stay humidified?
A: A few days at most.
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Who made you the smart ass you are today? Mom? Dad? Rhabi? Older brother? That nasty uncle your mom doesn’t want to hang with? Gypsy curse? Your direct humor feels like it’s a generation or threeahead of it’s time–old salty soul!
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Q: Who made you the smart ass you are today? Mom? Dad? Rhabi? Older brother? That nasty uncle your mom doesn’t want to hang with? Gypsy curse? Your direct humor feels like it’s a generation or threeahead of it’s time–old salty soul!
A: I grew up in front of the TV watching The Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Laurel and Hardy, The Three Stooges, Buster Keaton, and Abbot & Costello.
My dad thought he was funny. He wasn’t so much, but his charm made up for his lack of hardy har har. But his father…we were two peas in a pod. My gramps was a smart ass extraordinaire. And he was funny, especially in his under the breath asides. My dad never figured out why Grandpa Kohn love me more than he loved him.
When I was in Curved Air, bandleader and violinist Darry Way loved my sense of humor. So much so that he asked me to teach him to be funny. What? I know. He had the worst rep amongst the music media for being an asshole. This is no shit…I actually worked with Darryl trying to teach him routines and different ways to answer stupid music reporter questions. At no time, was there any sign of hope in the man. He quickly reverted to being in his comfort zone as an asshole. Little known fact: drummer Stewart Copeland and I had an identical sense of humor. Every town we played in required a local radio or TV interview before the concert. Not long into the ritual, our manager asked that only Copeland and I do the shows. This pissed off the big creative brains of the band. It was held against me for the duration.
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How does one escape this rat race?
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Find a hungry cat.
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Q: Someone offers you a box of your top 20 smokes of all time or a box of 20 that you’ve never tried but come recommended by friends and family. All are rested for smokability. Which do you choose?
A: Fuente Fuente OpusX 25. $370 each. Released in 2021. Well rested OpusX cigars are the most killer blends on the planet. If you can only afford a fiver, I will still happily accept your generous offer. Thanks.
Q: You can choose anyone from your past that you have issues with to engage in fisticuffs, then squash the beef over a cigar. Both of you will be fighting in your prime. Who, what’s the beef, and which cigar?
A: In my old age, I’ve become a forgiving guy. Things that may have caused contentious relationships go away after time. If I had to pick someone famous, it would be Butch Patrick. This was a tough friendship. Long after we grew up, Eddie was still having substance abuse issues…which affected his demeanor and behavior. But the man has been clean for years. I’ve known the guy for over 40 years…I’d like to sit with Butch and talk about old times and the hellish/wonderful experiences that bonded us.
On a more personal note, it would be my oldest friend, Skip Howlett. We became best buddies in 4th grade. We were always in lockstep about all things important in life. If it wasn’t for Skip, I never would have taken a chance buying a one-way ticket to Europe where I had the opportunity to play in a big time English band. But in the last 10 years of Skip’s life, he became consumed by the insanity of his long-time wife. Ugly things happened that saddened me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to find the light of inner peace. He’s been gone for 4 years. He allowed the toxic relationship with his wife to ignore his health problems hoping desperately that it would take him out permanently. Skip was an avid cigar smoker. I’d like one more with him…so we could patch things up.
Q: You’re offered wrapper leaf and sticky of your choice to roll a blunt with. What variety do you choose?
A: The wrapper would have to be Dominican Rosado Oscuro. The filler would be a 50/50 hybrid of sativa and indica. I’m partial to Granddaddy Purple and Sour Diesel. I need a minimum of 25% thc for a good time.
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Captain my Captain,
Mazel Tov to your continued success, health, and happiness! You bring joy to us.
— Michael
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Q: Why Wisconsin? I’m cold just thinking about it.
A: I have always chased the money. From my 40’s onward, I ran large commercial projects as a construction manager. As a result, I’ve moved my family countless times. In 2005, a friend offered me a great gig in Chicago…so we packed up and left Long Beach, CA. Three years later, I was offered an even better gig in Milwaukee…only 90 miles away. And here we are. Not a great place to live if you love being steeped in culture that big cities offer…but it is very affordable compared to Chicago or L.A. It is -8° as I write this. It is only this bitter cold for a month or so each year. As Californians, Charlotte and I have adapted and moved to the dark side to survive this ridiculous wintry weather. When the temp rises to 32°, I wear shorts and flip flops. This is our elephant burial ground.
Q: What has improved in your life with age, other than cigars?
A: It boils down to understanding and fine-tuning life’s events; both past and present. Some call it wisdom. Others would say it is having an overdue common sense about what’s important in life. Regardless, I’m in a place of peace that I’ve not experienced before I hit 70. I see things clearly. I can get to the root of a problem quickly. I don’t fret or wring my hands over anything. It’s pretty cool.
Q: Do you really get paid over $1,000,000 a year?
A: $1.1M
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does your shmekel ever react to a really good cigar?
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Q: does your shmekel ever react to a really good cigar?
A: You’re asking if a 75-year-old man’s weenie reacts to exterior stimulation? In my head, it does.
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When was a time you turned left, when you should have turned right?
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Q: When was a time you turned left, when you should have turned right?
A: This is easy. I worked for a construction company in the S.F. Bay area in the early 2000’s. On a beautiful May weekend, the owners threw a big bash at a KOA in Sonoma. Wine country. On day 2, out of boredom, I decided to go skydiving. I hadn’t done this in a few years, but I had 79 previous jumps under my belt…so I felt I was good to go. While I looked for other victim wannabes, my betters put their feet down and gave me an ultimatum not to do this stupid thing. I reassured them it wasn’t my first time. And then I was reminded I was running 23 large commercial projects, and they had no one to replace me if I got squished.
I surreptitiously headed for the scene of the crime when no one was looking. Two hours later, I broke my back and neck but survived an unrevivable accident. I hit the ground nearly headfirst at 35mph…and dug a 10-foot-long cave with just my head. Cables from both the main and secondary chute got tangled.
I only remember one thing from that landing: the sound of breaking glass, which was my back fracturing into a million pieces. Doctors told me I’d never walk again, etc…Four years later, I went back to work.
In retrospect, things would have been better if I wasn’t so damn bored on that company camping trip.
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When smoking cigars in a colder and drier climate, what can I do to limit my wrappers from cracking and cigars from expanding/blowing up? Unlike a lot of smokers, I will not abstain for the entire winter, and I smoke too many cigars per day to just hang out in a cigar lounge.
Have you tried a cigar for the first time and really disliked it, but after some humidor time, went back to it and really liked it? How much will resting a cigar in a humidor really change the experience?
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Q: When smoking cigars in a colder and drier climate, what can I do to limit my wrappers from cracking and cigars from expanding/blowing up? Unlike a lot of smokers, I will not abstain for the entire winter, and I smoke too many cigars per day to just hang out in a cigar lounge.
A: Oh man, you just described the bane of every cigar smoker that lives in a state with four seasons. I wish I could use my old man wisdom and give you the holy grail answer. Diligence has been my only salvation. My man cave has big windows which is the enemy of humidors. I designed the room so that none of my humidors are adjacent to the cold draft. This is a must. Wisconsin is humid in summer and dry in winter. I probably double up on my Boveda Packets (69%) in winter. Dry boxing is simpler in summer and deadly in the winter months. One thing I’ve done for years is always insert at least 3 digital hygrometers in every humidor. These things can be unreliable. So, I make sure that each hygrometer is from a different manufacturer. Don’t be cheap with these things. Buy only premium hygrometers which are normally in the $20 range.
Q: Have you tried a cigar for the first time and really disliked it, but after some humidor time, went back to it and really liked it? How much will resting a cigar in a humidor really change the experience?
A: Every cigar I’ve purchased. I no longer buy crap cigars. Like everyone else, I fall victim to the ‘Let’s See’ lack of discipline and smoke a new cigar within a week of receipt. This gives me hope or just frustrates the hell out of me. I forgo the let’s see smoke with very expensive cigars. I’m not flush enough to gamble with $30+ cigars.
Yes, every cigar improves with extended humidor time. Some become excellent with only 3 months of sleep. Most require at least 6 months or longer…sometimes years. Crap cigars have a 50/50 chance of getting better. If you buy what you like…if you stick with your favorite manufacturers, you will always be pleasantly surprised.
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Thank you for the info. I am.in the St. Louos area, so I know all about humid summers😓
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Question1. What was the most people you played to?
Question2.Who were all the bands you played in?
Question3. Janis Joplin or Grace Slick?
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Q: What was the most people you played to?
A: While Curved Air generally played for several thousand in one concert, in the summer months, we played at a few British and European festivals. Festivals saw an attendance of 25,000-50,000. My bar bands would see as many as hundreds of people to only 15 diehards. In the early 70’s, my four piece played a few times for a sequestered group of 100 women at the California Institution for Women Chino. I remember these dates because the Manson girls were always in attendance.
Q: Who were all the bands you played in?
A: Oh man…I was always a hired gun. I can count on one hand the number of bands I was a member of that had a warm family-like platform. A conservative guess is that I played in 50 bands over my lifetime.
I was more of a session animal than anything else. You can do a million session gigs and never play with anyone famous. I made a decent living working this angle. 40 years ago, I could make $2500 per week. 10 years ago, I could make $500 per song. To be honest, anyone with my background will have trouble remembering as well. If I sat down with my tapes and use Wikipedia, there’s a good chance I can come up with some solid names. I’ll work on it.
Q: Janis Joplin or Grace Slick?
A: Joplin was a much better singer. Even Grace would admit that. But Janis was a total mess of a drunk/junkie…and had little charisma. Grace Slick controlled her excesses and is now an old lady. Slick had plenty of charisma…but her royal gold days were in the 1960’s. I wonder how Janis would have aged.
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I’m enjoying a cigar and some Dylan down here in ATX tonight, hope you’re well.
Dylan really nailed it in “Gotta Serve Somebody,” …. “You’re gonna have to serve somebody, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.” Makes you think… so if you’re up for sharing, who does the Katman serve these days? And has that changed as you’ve gone along?
Love what you do, wishing you all the best!
Take care,
Ma Ka
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The Golden Rule works for me.
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