Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Dominican, Ecuadorian, Peruvian
Size: 5 x 52 Robusto
Strength: Medium
Price: $12.00

My cigars received one month of naked humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
From LH Cigars:
“Building a name synonymous with quality, crafting a flavor to rise up over the borders of Central and South America, developing a lifestyle to cross the oceans one cigar box at a time – the world of LH Premium Cigars provides far more than just a solid smoke. Carefully crafted as the international answer to the illustrious Cuban, each stick carries a strong legacy of tobacco from Nicaragua, Brasil, and Peru, all wrapped within the finest Ecuadorian leaf. Born from the fly-by-night travels and increasingly distinguished palate of one man, hand delivered to far-flung lands for the most private clientele, and quickly assuming their place as the top shelf selection in the world’s most exclusive lounges, LH Premium Cigars are a departure from the ordinary, an exploration in flavor and prestige – a selection of unprecedented cigars hand crafted by the world, now brought to you.”

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I was skeptical at first. After a few cigars, I’m sold. Woops. Damn. I blew the ending.
Wrapper aromas: honey, richly aged wine cask, dried fruit, vanilla, and spicy cinnamon.
I huff and puff on the cold draw until I realize the thing has a closed foot. My PerfecDraw was at the ready. I tell it to stand down. I get a strange salute and then I remember the PD has an I.Q. of 80.

The cold draw is delicious: honeysuckle, floral, dried apricots, black tea, and cinnamon.

Remember this dear friend…$12. The 2025 bargain of the year. In fact, the entire line of LH blends are in this same price range. Who does this? Their prices will surely rise at some point, so now is the time to taste their offerings so you can snag what you prefer as your go-to.

I tried one a week after receipt and it finessed me long time.

I don’t have a clue how a farmer and a blender can get a cigar to taste like honey, but LH nails it. I imagine a throwback to the 60’s with Bit-O-Honey. I can taste it melting in my mouth and clogging up the grill.

The dried fruit becomes a prune danish. The floral notes are olfactory and wonkafactory. My lips, like gonads on a string, tickle the ivories and then dart to my uvula and make the long trek back to the tip of my tongue. Damn, I’m having a good time. I watched home movies my dad took in the 50’s. I pranced for the camera like a fairy on wings. How I turned out straight is beyond me.
Nice smoke output.

Strength is just shy of medium. A great morning cigar with your caffeinated tea.

I sip on water and the gates open like thunder on high. Instead of deep complexity and richness, the blend is about incredible flavors. Only a month in and I had to write about this cigar. It is evidentially clear that with a few months of humi time, this blend will be presumptuously fertile with the missing link of our desire: the cigar we can’t put down.

The stick felt light initially. It plumped up effectively like an Oscar Meyer wiener once heat was applied.

In the last few years, blenders and manufacturers discovered that Fuente, Casdagli, and Kelner had a winning formula. The nicotine skull bashingl blends came fast and loose over the last 15 years. AJ Fernandez was among the many who rode the whirlwind of burly cigar blends. Most of the newly anointed are using the thrill of post Covid greed to charge $18-$25 per stick. LH is smart and serves up the same brews for almost half that.

New flavor points: golden molasses, toasted bagel, ginger, orange peel, and sweet fresh figlets.

As I near the halfway point richness kicks in. A nice slow level of complexity makes its move. This is going to be a very smart purchase and something you want to hold on to for at least 3 months before you light one up. But if you smoke a few early, it’s all good because these aren’t expensive cigars.

Sweet v. Savory balance is now complete. Earthy richness counterpoints the lovely sweetness.

LH Premium Cigars names all the flavors on its website. Spot on.

Woody notes that impress upon me the need to go camping with friends and family…mostly friends. Smoky and dark. The worm has turned.

The char line is sharp.

Medium strength maintains an even keel. Super smooth like my legs after I shave them with a rusty machete that I bought on Porn Hub…gently used.

I’m going to try all the LH blends. These guys know what they’re doing. I urge you to do the same.

With only one month of humidor time, I’m sticking my neck out. I believe that this cigar will do very well with extended rest. This is a solid cigar. The price is reasonable.

You can purchase LH Premium Cigars from sponsor Small Batch Cigar. Take 10% off with promo code KATMAN.

RATING: 95

And now for something completely different:

Keeping with the theme of rodents as in the gopher story in my review of Hyperion 2024 Toro by El Titan de Bronze a few days ago, another one that I have no qualified reason for foisting upon you.

Man vs. Ferret. The life experience that tainted me forever.

I took time off from being a project manager for large structural steel projects. It was killing me. I was 40. I was in burn out mode.

During a blood drive at my daughter’s school, they took my blood pressure. I was told “Go see a doctor. We ain’t taking your blood today.”
40 was too young to die so I had some choices to make.

I went to work for an old friend as a structural draftsman. In the construction trades, anyone on a board is called a ‘Detailer.’ We took structural and architectural design drawings and first made erection drawings for the crews of ironworkers. And from that, we broke down every single piece of steel and articulated to the shop how to cut, punch and weld, etc. It was sometimes grueling work.

I was working in Fullerton, CA….ritzy in places and it had some beautiful hills and forest area behind the shop.

On a hot day with the airconditioning busted, we opened the front and back doors. It was a small place with room for 12 detailers. I was in the middle of three rooms.

One day, lo and behold…a ferret walked in. It didn’t seem to be afraid of us. As it walked towards me, I bent over and extended my arm. In a flash, the fucking maneater grabbed on to my forearm with all 4 legs in a prehensile death grip and began punching away at my skin with its teeth.

I ran around the office waving my arm trying to get the damn thing off. It wouldn’t let go. I screamed like a little girl, and no one could get me to hold still. The ferret whispered to me: ‘Call me Adolph.’

It finally flew off my arm and blood gushed from my arm. Did my boss or co-workers call 911? Of course not. It was just a little ferret attack. Quite possibly a wild ferret as we were right on the edge of a forest.

I collapsed on the floor because I thought I was going to faint… and screamed out at everyone: “Close the fucking doors! Do not let that piece of shit weasel get out!” I did not want to get the rabies series of inoculations.

My doctor was around the block. Within moments of my exam he got on the phone with my boss and screamed at him: ‘Don’t let that fucking animal loose!’ I had never heard my mild-mannered doctor curse.

He bandaged my entire arm and warned me that if that ferret got loose…and then he made the motion of a needle going into my stomach…shaking his head the whole time.
I gulped the gulp of a pussy.

When I got back, Animal Control was there. A giant black man was trying to catch the elusive ferret with the long aluminum pole with a loop on its end.

When he caught the little critter after a long 10 minutes, it let out a high screech that made us cover our ears.

Now here is the interesting part…. The boss had this stupid, good looking blonde working for him in his blueprint store next to the drafting company. She was really stupid. But she was a looker.

Everyone in the blueprint shop ran over to our side of the building to watch the excitement.

When Rocky Racoon started screeching, this dullard woman screamed, “You fucking n*****! Let it go. You are hurting it!! You fucking n*****!”
Everyone was in shock. Even the ferret shook his head in disgust.

The animal control guy dropped the stick with the ferret’s head still in the loop…the ferret tried to make a get away with a 6’ stick attached to it….no go. It hid behind some curtains with the pole shivering at 92 beats per minute.

He asked, “What did you call me?”
And the stupid bitch repeated it!!!! She fucking repeated it!
Oh my God. What a racist cunt.

But now I’m thinking the damn weasel is going to get away and I will have 6 weeks of injections to my belly because of a race war inside the drafting company.

I begged the man to please capture and secure the animal and don’t listen to the idiot woman. He calmed down and did just that.

I walked out alone with him and apologized profusely for the act of racism that just occurred. He was very magnanimous, and gracious, and left.

I walked back into the drafting room, walked quickly up to the bitch, and slapped her with an open hand.

I screamed at her, “Do you realize what you almost did? You fucking piece of shit, bitch, cocksucking kraut!. If he didn’t capture it, I would have to go through some very painful inoculations!!!!!! If get rabies, I will bite the shit out of your ugly face!”
She apologized as her hand rubbed her cheek where I smacked her. She didn’t have a green card, so I didn’t care. She was from Germany and even though my wife is too; and worked part time doing the books for the place, she had nothing to do with this imbecile.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited. For 10 days. Of course, if this had happened in modern times, my doc wouldn’t have waited. I would have gotten the rabies vaccines immediately.

And then it came. A little postcard from Animal Control proclaiming that dead and gone Rocket J. Squirrell did not have rabies. One of the longest 10 days in my life.

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