Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf
Filler: U.S. Pennsylvania Double Ligero (GR-S1), Nicaraguan (Condega, Jalapa, Pueblo Nuevo, Estelí), Dominican Olor
Size: 5 x 52/58 Perfecto
Strength: Full
Price: $14.00
My cigars received 3 months of naked humidor time.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I reviewed this cigar blend in 2015. I saw it but didn’t read it. I want to show you how whack we reviewers are by never getting anything right twice. Let us begin, brethren.
HN = Homo Neanderthalensis when translated to Latin means ‘Bigforeheadus Erectus Dominatrix.’
The thing is so oily that it keeps slipping from my ashtray. It is a nice-looking cigar in an ugly duckling sort of way. The bulbous bottom third of the cigar looks bloated or preggers. Did Skip Martin have the molds made or were they found in lost luggage and he came up with a great idea. Ask someone in the cigar biz. They know everything. Ask them.
The wrapper smells like chicken salad. Oops, I gotta wash my hands. I’m back. Aromas of…damn, chicken salad wrapped in barnyard droplets. Go figure.
An absolute flat cap. Raise your paw if your wife says this about you. Perfect place and time to use my PerfecPunch. It’s plugged like Cousin Adam after consuming half of a 4lb salami in one sitting. My PerfecDraw. What a pal. It takes two pumpa dumps and it’s as clear as Adam after two Pruno enemas and several shots of week-old schmaltz.
Cold draw is all dark chocolate and black cherries. Very maduro-ish. Same thing happened when I smoked the Viso Horny 555. I wrote Tyler and told him I gave his blend a 96. He was gloriosky all over the place. Said he’d have to read my review…and then, I never heard from him again. This is the story of my life. I step on my dick like it’s a national holiday.
Smokestack lightnin’. We begin. Well, I begin…you began when you clicked on this link. My apologies…You better start all over again. I’ll wait.
Fucking delicious. Really. Sweet and savory in bodacious waltz time. BBQ sauce, black cherries, Mexican mole sauce, darker chocotabs, smoked brisket, walnutty, apple pita, and medium strength black pepper. Great start.
I smoked a couple in the early Let’s See period. Totally disappointed. Always wait. Don’t be like your Uncle Katman. OK. Smoke one because we ain’t saints or rabbis.
Besides being like a heavily packed kishka on St. Pentecostal Day, construction begins with stellar precision. I’d take a photo but I’m hoping there is a money shot in this cigar’s upcoming future.
The inevitable coffee bean shows up. But it does nicely. Everything about this power punch is smooth. Now I realize that I wasted two good cigars.
The cigar is advertised as full tilt strength. Oy. I am not sure I will be able to finish the last third on an empty stomach. Chicken salad sounds good. But no. Onward Conclave Soldiers.
I better slow the chatter down. This is an extremely slow roll and if butter mouth doesn’t stop typing, this will be a Unabomber manifesto.
I get my new Ibanez 5 string electric upright today. I’m so fucking excited. I’ll take photos. I hear you yawning. It probably won’t be playable so I plan on taking it to a luthier to have it set up. These guys make a fortune doing this. The catch is that they make you buy a new set of strings. I just got it. Why do I need new strings? Because the damn things are so heavily marked up. Bass guitar strings run around $50. Upright strings are double or more. But then they almost never break. Wear out, yeah sure. Depends on your playing. In the early days of my recording dates, I’d always use new strings. Strings need to stretch…making you tune them constantly. I stopped doing that by the time I hit 27.
Strength began at medium/full. The early flavors prevail. A lovely thickness is in play. Mouth feel is lush. It’s not a wide spectrum flavor profile but it is very intense. With only two inches burned, the capo di tutti is upped. My swoon shall be immediate and my writing, well, you know…
This is a meat stick. Savory begins to outweigh the sweetie pie faction. This simply means there are transitions. It may swing back. Or it may not. Decisiveness is not a characteristic of a bunch of dried-up leaves. But we wouldn’t have it any other way.
The band spent more than a week fixing their clams. The live album wasn’t so live. All the solos were redone. They had me fix one solitary note. But after listening to the finished record, I wish they had given me the same chance as my betters.
The local news is a drag. What I hate the most are stories about seniors who get scammed online. And then these idiots, who want their 15 minutes, agree to be interviewed on camera. They try to explain why they aren’t stupid, but it’s written all over them. There are old 70’s and there are young 70’s.
The first half was masterfully delicious. Creaminess kicked in at the end of inch 2 and swatted it to right field. Richness of depth began around that same time. The transitions keep on chooglin. RoMa Craft is always consistent. The downside is that most blends need 6-12 months of humi time before they explode in your face like a wayward pearl necklace. Speaking of stupid, I was in my mid-40’s and didn’t know what that was. Sitting at the dinner table with friends, the over charged young woman kept telling me she would like one…and stared at me. I had to ask and laughter erupted. They wanted to swing but I don’t like another guy staring at my junk.
This is such a good cigar, I had to stop typing and buy another fiver. I can’t help myself; I am easily swayed by my own thoughts.
Construction is on the money. The char line is regimental. So many cigars in this price range to choose from. Most are not worth the moths in my wallet. This baby is worth every shekel. I’m swooning like a teenager at a KPOP concert. I don’t care. The flavors are so refined and refreshing that all I can think of is AJ has hasn’t blended something this nice.
This is Steve Saka territory, boys. But cheaper, for the most part. Similar to the Sobremesa Solita Red in taste and leaf stats. The HN is almost $5 cheaper. A wink and a nod.
Transitions. Black cherries, root beer, dark cocoa, brisket, BBQ sauce, black pepper (but not too much), earthy, black walnuts, fried apple, and smoky hickory. Luxurious.
I don’t remember much from my skydiving accident in 2001. The sound of glass breaking, my back and neck splintering…was the last thing I remember. The video is ghastly. And yet here I am.
The last two inches is not as mind expanding as I expected. Think Stulac but not as hoarse. Think Padron but not as expensive. Think Saka at his best. Skippy Martin did good.
Only thing I really dislike from RoMa Craft is the bloody cigar band. One on top of the other. I gotta shred them to get them off. I hate nicking the wrapper.
I saw Pete Townshend coming towards me. I knew he was in Studio B mixing the soundtrack to ‘Tommy’ but I had yet to meet him. And there he was…staring at me. I was on the floor of the control booth. Smoking some hash with Sonja. We shook hands. I pulled it together. I refrained from nervous bobble head moves. After sharing our pipe with The Man, it was all cool. The next day, Stewart and I spent hours jamming with Townshend in a nearby rehearsal room at Air Studios London. The room was so tiny that we were on top of each other. Pete was to my left. I must have bumped my right elbow into his guitar a dozen times. I kept apologizing and Townshend just laughed. I didn’t ask for a tape. Du-oh. Shortly after, Pete asked Miles Copeland if he could produce our next album. I woke all my friends in L.A. to tell them. Alas, it never came to fruition. I spent years asking for a copy of that day.
The truth telling inch and a half does a great job in laying it bare. Smooth without a lick of harshness. Elegant and refined. A gorgeous finish.
You can purchase the RoMa Craft Neanderthal HN from sponsor Small Batch Cigar. Take 10% off with promo code KATMAN.
RATING: 96
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
