Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Ecuadorian Habano
Filler: Dominican Piloto Cubano, Nicaraguan Estelí Habano & Jalapa Habano
Size: 6 x 50 Toro
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $5.00

My cigars received 6 months of naked humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
From Cigar Page:
“We spend a ton of time in factories. Mainly Nicaragua and Honduras but also Dominican Republic and beyond. As a result we work with a lot of tobaccos and smoke many, many blends. The cool thing is – and stop me if you’ve heard me spin this yarn before – a lot of really interesting tobacco exists that won’t ever see the light of day for regular production cigars. The reason is insufficient quantity. If you launch a blend you are planning for it to be successful and therefore you want it to be repeatable and consistent for years to come. And the reason factories own such quantities of these more limited tobaccos is because, whether they are buying or growing (or both), they end up with extra lots as part of the buy. This inventory gets socked away and often forgotten or backburnered in the daily fog of production war. When we’re there working on buying and creating new blends, we always carve out time to poke around these smaller batch tobaccos, as they can make for some very interesting blends. That’s what Scratch Blends are all about. It’s the fruit of these visits and we wanted to bring that factory experience to you – and enjoy some unique and brand new, experimental blends to try out.”

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I’ve waited for the right time to review this cigar. Like American Bandstand, I dedicate this review to all those who complain that I, as well as other reviewers, don’t bring good, decent, or otherwise, budget cigars to the fore. Let’s do the Mashed Potato (I lost 83% of you).

A $5.00 cigar. What are the odds that it isn’t laughable. I bought these long before CP became a sponsor. There is an entire line of Scratch Blends with 27 different blends. And it includes 6 blends made at El Titan de Bronze factory. The El Titans run $9 each.

These are nicely constructed cigars. They’re firm and diatonic like my 9th grade gym coach Mr. Matsutani. The 5’-4 tall man could swing a paddle on your ass like Mothra destroying Tokyo. I was scared to death of him and as he is most likely dead, I feel free to make fun of him. Back in the day, it was perfectly OK for gym teachers to beat the shit out of students that mouthed off. They had a giant wood paddle with holes in it so that the wind didn’t slow down the delivery. The swatting was done in the teacher’s office but we all listened in horror. We heard the toughest kids in the school cry and scream. It was the only time that we soothed the sobbing school bullies.

Wrapper aromas are earthy with a very nice spiciness that lingers after I remove the stick from my enormous schnoz.

The cap screams to be debauched and my PerfecPunch does the ooh ooh pick me. Like Errol Flynn removing the head of King John, my PP provides a perfect 8mm airhole. Cue Monty Python.

The cold draw is spicy, earthy, sweet, and leathery. I read that sentence and it reminds me of me after explaining to a neighbor why I am standing on their porch holding their Amazon package.

I put off lighting the cigar as it dangles while I draw cold air through the leaves because it tastes pretty good just like this. But then you aren’t paying me to dawdle…er, wait.

Milwaukee. It’s 15° outside. And I have the windows open because I’m smoking. I’m bundled up like a twelve pack of chalupas.

The blend starts off thick as a brick. Construction is excellent as the cigar immediately plumps from the heat and tells the air around it, spread out. Beautifully earthy and rich on the first puffs. Can this Scratch Blend Vol. 10 keep it up? I stare lovingly at the ceiling. I pucker and suck like my first day on D Block. As I begin to say the words you’re waiting for, I choke on smoke before I get to say: Nice smoke output.

Black cherries. This is unusual for a blend of this ilk. And then the others pile on: malt, dark chocolate, black licorice, musky mushrooms, sweet and tart cherry tomatoes, and mild black pepper.

My tongue tingles which either tells me there is a red pepper influence or I’m having another botched scrotal reduction aneurysm. It’s red pepper. I hear those testes of mine sigh in relief. The blend gets down and creamy. Like a Georgia peach on a summer afternoon.

The burn is as sharp as my straight face in front of an IRS auditor.

It’s tough for Eddie Munster. He knows I own the copyright to the Whatever Happened to Eddie video and while it may be one of his cool professional highlights, he’d rather eat razors than come to me and work things out. He’s read everything I’ve written about him, so I don’t blame him for being angry. But then again, it is all true or lawyers would have been involved. I certainly have never present myself as an angel during this time and it happened during a cocaine fueled period in America. Now and again, he shows up for his many public events wearing an Eddie and the Monsters tee shirt.

This is one slow roll. How often do you light up a cigar in the $10 or less range and it burns like kindling in the Sahara. This baby is like a brand-new tampon dipped in fire retardant. My previous sticks have all lasted at least 90 minutes. I consider removing the last analogy. But I don’t because I’m a pig. Ask my rabbi.

I rush ahead to the second third. The first was rich, earthy, creamy, and smooth. I love smooth. I prefer not to smoke cigars that make me incessantly blink like a vampire at sunrise.

The first half was all about being way more than just pleasant. The strength remained at medium. If I had no idea what or where I’d never guess it is a $5 stick.

The strength is upped to capo dei tutti de capo. I feel my swoon coming on.

The blend maintains an even keel. No sudden jerks. Flavors are subdued and layered but exist predominantly in the background. Smooth and elegant. My previous sticks were smoked somewhere in a latitudinal line up during the day. Or after a meal. The cigar’s specialness comes out as my first cigar of the day. I’m really shocked. I have no idea how this vast array of blends has flown under the radar.

I’m down to the last two inches. Strength is verging on full tilt. But the body has been full gong show for the last hour. If the cigar doesn’t become harsh, ladies and germs, we have a winner.

I have zero complaints. Not one. The cigar performed beautifully. It finishes up without a hint of harshness. The nice thing about this cigar? If you must pull your child from the well you dug out back, you can ditch the cigar. If you are in the middle of a bank heist and the cops show up, you can ditch the cigar. Or if you hear the wife yell, “The toilet is clogged,” you can ditch the cigar.

This is a solid everyday cigar. No futzing around. Twenty-seven different blends. The El Titan de Bronze blends are my favorites, but the $5 blends ain’t got nothing to be ashamed of. If you need some smokes to hand out to your dunderhead friends who think you’re supposed to stop smoking a cigar when it burns down to the cigar band…or, have mooches who never reciprocate, the Scratch Blends will keep them happy. Tell them that they are unbanded because of tariffs and have the code of “undisclosed” tobacco.
Honestly, I got no trouble smoking these to fill my days. I get tired of seeing my wallet get lighter and lighter each time I put torch to foot on a $15 stick. These are the best ‘everydays’ I’ve smoked.

You can purchase a wide variety of Scratch Blends from sponsor Cigar Page.

But the already deadly low price is not sufficiently low enough for my readers. No sirree Bob. Alex G. at Cigar Page stood tall and is giving you an extra 20% off through the end of November with promo code: KATSCRATCH. From now on, I expect you to refer to me as “You’re my boy, Blue.”

RATING: 92

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar page, cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, katman, phil kohn, scratch blends, Scratch Blends Volume 10 ~ Cigar Page Exclusive | Cigar Reviews by the Katman