Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Sumatran
Filler: Nicaraguan Corojo, Criollo ‘98
Size: 6 x 50 Toro
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $14.00
Date Released: March 2026
Quantity Released: Limited Undisclosed amount
Factory: Undisclosed Dominican Republic
My cigars received two months naked humidor time.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I’ve enjoyed everything from Wildfire. It’s a solid company.
The skin is taut, veiny, and the belly is full. It smells lovely with subtle notes of fresh earth, dark chocolate, floral, and smoked brisket.
Using my PerfecPunch, I skewer the cap like a drunken rabbi. I pierce the toast and the tiny manhole cover is removed exposing a chocolate forest. I draw deeply and taste more earth, more chocolate, some mint, honey graham crackers, and foam from a frosty glass of an A&W root beer.
I’d light it up but any minute a delivery from Instacart arrives with my monthly subscription of four cases of Fleet Enemas. If you buy three or more, the store gives you a free pack of suppositories and some sour gummies. They’re great partnered up with an apple martini. One goes down and one goes up. Mark Twain, I’m not.
Son in law calls. He’s here. Dropping both grandsons off. The circus of the seventh level of hell begins. Chao ensues.
Aw, fuck it. Light ‘er up. Ever notice that sometimes a cigar doesn’t light properly and 22 degrees on one side just won’t light. The bunching must be wrong. The seventh level of rollers was not used. Chaos ensues.
Quoting my favorite scribes, the cigar begins in an average manner. No wow factor. And I must torch the shit out of the part that won’t light. This bodes neither well or kindly.
It’s musty tasting. Same thing with my previous stick. I love an early wow factor. This baby ain’t got it. Based on the leaf stats, I expect this blend to do well on just a recently cleansed palate. I don’t like musty. It’s what old people smell like. I don’t need my cigar to taste how I smell.
Nice smoke delineation.
A slight tartness interrupts the mustiness. The cigar was driven into the wild a couple months ago. I don’t expect miracles, but I do expect a sign. If I was at the PCA and it was my third of 50 cigars while I walked the walk, the cigar would taste like nothing. Either it is subtle, which I don’t expect from a medium/full strength cigar, or this will be the first blend from Wildfire that is run of the mill.
The problem with the bunching remains the same. The burn is cockeyed. Very much like being in the moment when 5- and 8-year-old boys are rampaging. Gimmee, gimmee, I want, puhleez, gimmee…etc. Of course, this is why it is a guarded secret that only grandparents know, we take a civilian patrol class that shows us how to wrap small children in foil and stuff them in small wells in the backyard. It aids in teaching manners and respect. Knowing how to stuff bags of cotton balls on top of the hole helps with the screaming. I like my grandkids quiet.
Seriously, the cigar must need extended humidor time. I don’t sense aging on the part of the manufacturer. If smokers are lucky, the average cigar gets a few weeks of rest and then into the cello they go and then packed into their boxes. I’ve been a smoker a long time and I can sense when a blend does better if you ignore them for 6 months. I don’t sense that with the Dead Drift. I sense an error in center field.
Mustiness is joined by an unpleasant tart citrus. A flavor that can augment creaminess but there is no creaminess. I’m near the end of the first half.
I rated the Wildfire The Hook 93. I rated the Artaois 95. I rated The Intro 96. And I rated the Wanderer 93. There is a pattern. The Dead Drift is not in the same class.
I scroll up my page to remind me what this thing cost: $14. Oh, jeez. The previous four were $11, $12, and $13. We will be blaming the Strait of Hormuz for another decade just like we blamed Covid.
I venture into the second half. Its life hangs in the balance. I wish the sourness would go away. It is unpleasant. I chew a little chocolate, I swish with water, and I wipe the snot off the 5-year old’s nose, and I get down tonight. The sourness that lingers on my palate ruins the taste of my fine chocolate. I made a rule that I will only bring to your attention good cigars. The other guys are excellent at being overly critical. I fucked up.
The seams unravel. I’m done. I’m sure there were good intentions. And I’ll be accused of not getting it.
Maybe that’s true.
Turning dead leaves into a fun time is hard. I wouldn’t want that job. My job is to sit back and criticize. Cigar manufacturers pity this fool.
I do recommend you spend the kids’ healthcare money with Luxury Cigar Club. Use promo code KATMAN 15 (15% off) on anything you like.
RATING: I don’t know what to give it.
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