Fuente Fuente OpusX 20 Years Celebration God’s Whisper (2016)
Wrapper: Dominican
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 6.5 x 56 Figurado
Strength: Medium
Price: $50.00

This cigar has received over 7 years of humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
Released December 2016.
According to Carlito Fuente:
“I wanted to produce something I remembered. To go way back to my childhood. Go back to the happiest moments of my life. I wanted my grandfather to be proud of me. My father to be proud of me. And someday, my children to be proud of me. It was something I had to do.”

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
This is a big honker. A Gordo in the guise of a Figurado.

Everyone hates getting up in the morning. If you make it to your 70’s, a whole new game awaits you. I feel like I’m on a Smucker’s jar when I drag myself from the wreckage in the a.m.

Despite the cigar having a lifespan of over 7 years, I get aromas from the wrapper of grape jelly, spicy black pepper, dark chocolate, vanilla icing, cinnamon, and creamy coffee.

The draw is as tight as my dick’s hatband. Luckily, I have my PerfecDraw to solve this puzzle. I don’t throw away cigars…I PD them. I proposed this new slogan to Dr. Rod. I haven’t heard back. He’s probably at his castle in Utah. He made his dough investing in Malaysia Airlines.

Dominican is always good. Dom puros rode the wave for a very long time. Peruvian tobacco has proven to be a great accompaniment but is dear and hard to acquire. This revelation has come in just the last few years. You’ll probably see future OpusX blends with this feature. Still, a punchy and clear start. Smooth creaminess that is given a boost by strong nuttiness, clotted cream (in the way back machine to 1975 Wales), cinnamon sugar, and white pepper.

The burn needs help.
Half an inch in. Not much happening.

When released in 2016, the cigar went for $22.50. You will unlikely find this cigar now. But there is a pirate of an online retailer who regularly goes for your gonads. The seller has this cigar for you if you’ve got $115. I’ve checked and these guys make it a habit to skewer you if you want something rare. I found only one review of this cigar, and it didn’t fare that well.

The burn self corrects.

There is no joy in Mudville as the cigar reaches 1” burned. I only have one stick, so this was a roll of the dice. I’m feeling disappointment and I don’t like it.

Zero richness. Zero complexity. Oh no. Mondays are slow days for cigar sites, so I don’t feel I’ve wasted my time. This blend could be the proverbial Second Half shines cigar. But that would put it in the category of a Patel or a Bradley, not the esteemed OpusX.

If I was a moron who decided to pay more than a C note for this cigar, I’d be pissed. It wasn’t until I moved to the U.K., that I found out that ‘pissed’ meant drunk. I stopped saying I was pissed off as I tired of hearing, ‘Fucking Yanks.’

Foot tapping. Waiting. 1-1/2” burned 30 minutes. Time stands still. This blend couldn’t have been a petite corona. No. It had to be a friggin Gordo. And that my dears may be the problem. A blend designed for a tiny cigar stuffed into a giant panda. They rarely if ever work. Did Fuente pull the cigar? No. They had you to take it off their hands for the usual inflated price point.

The blend is going nowhere fast. I am stunned how ordinary this cigar blend is.
I will stick with it till it makes land well into the second half. If it hasn’t gotten exponentially better, I’m calling a rain out.

Oh good…mustiness appears. Always love that. Like not getting a boner when you need one. At my age, a boner is a mystical thing. It appears and disappears on its own recognizance.

Oh man. This cigar should have been singing like a dog dipped in shit. Color me knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door.

A frozen embryo is a baby. What’s next…they’re coming for you if you jerk off.

Good $10 cigars: RoMa Craft L.E. Neanderthal Genetic Deformity Barber Pole, Tatuaje 10th Anniversary Capa Especial, Foundation Charter Oak Pegnataro, Casdagli Daughters of the Wind Pony Robusto, Room101 Johnny Tobacconaut, Guardian of the Farm Claude Le Chien, E.P. Carrillo Pledge, 2012 by Oscar Barberpole, Luxury Cigar Club Choshi, Ain’t They Lovely by Lovely Cigars.

I’m at the halfway point. Cigar strength is formidable with a side of uber nicotine poisoning. Even if this cigar were to shine from this point forward, I’m no longer interested. This blend is a major dud. But the International Brotherhood of Cigar Reviewers bylaw clearly states I must continue no matter the pain.

I’m an inch into the belabored second half. The cigar is dead on arrival. This is the first time I have been let down by OpusX. What a pity. Now you know…don’t spend $115. I took a bullet for you. So glad it’s Monday.

Imagine how embarrassed Carlito Fuente must be. Some cigars just age out.

RATING: 70

Kelner L.E. 80th Anniversary
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Undisclosed
Filler: Dominican, Undisclosed
Size: 7 x 50 Diadema
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $57.00
Date Released: December 2025
Quantity Released: 2,000 boxes of 10
Factory: Kelner Cigars S.A.S., Dominican Republic

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
First, I don’t spend $57 on a single cigar. I don’t like spending $57 on a fiver. My buddy Jeff D. sent me a couple. Jeff works as a professional mourner but has a side gig as a reindeer minder. Obviously, he lives in Texas.

It seems that everybody and his brother have reviewed this cigar. It’s gotten mixed reviews. The blender is not the senior Kelner but rather the young one named Klaas. It is a homage to his dad for his 80th birthday. A much better choice than a new tie.

It’s a well-built cigar. Solid as the #9 rebar the impaled my hand when a roof ladder collapsed on a job site. Veinage is rampant. I like the itty bitty cap. It has a nice cigar band. I don’t like the number 80 though. That’s because it’s me in less than 4 years. I hear that 80 is the new 70. At 70, I found that gravity sucks so I started buying manssieres in bulk.

The wrapper has an odd smell. It reminds me of pumpkin seeds fried past their prime and a mustiness. Shoving the cigar’s foot up my binary openings, there are lesser notes of cocoa, milky butane, and black pepper.

OK. Torch to foot on a cigar that cost the same as 12 gallons of wartime gas.

First draw is dry as a hay storm. It’s not very often that I take my first sip of water right after my first draw. I find myself impressed air moves freely and evenly from cherry to cap. The first half an inch burns in about 3 minutes.

I once tried playing Pickleball. Kidding. I don’t play tennis or any other game that requires one to be quick on your feet. Want to know the reason? You don’t, but I don’t care. A guy I worked for when I was a young man was playing racquetball and he turned quickly and his Achilles tendon snapped like a rubber band and flew all the way up to his knee. He thought he’d been shot. After surgery, he spent 3 months with a full-length leg cast. That cured me from ever wanting to do grownup sports.

The Kelner is slightly creamy. I taste the sweetness of the Ecuadorian wrapper but there isn’t much else except for a little black and red pepper, some herbiness, and a slice of malt.

The cigar is OK. Apparently, it’s warming up. The thing has nearly 4 months of home detention so it should be ready to go. I remember when Casdagli was pumping out blends from Kelner. After 3 months of humi time, they were money. I refuse to ignore the brand or the cost of any cigar. I most definitely treat a $60 cigar differently than a ten-dollar cigar. I cradle it instead of gob smacking it. I puff like a girl on her first date with a basketball player. I make sure that I put a couple minutes between puffs because I don’t want that tarry crap in my mouth. Casdagli cigars were so good that it was a real issue not huffing and puffing. Jeremy doesn’t release as many cigars as he did in the pre-Covid era, but what he does release is gold.

The Kelner 80 is slowly improving. But there is no whizz bang that I expect from a cigar that costs as much as a Happy Meal and three Big Macs.

It’s not bad, it’s Average. Oh no…the words no blender wants to hear. Klaas Kelner ain’t no Jack Kennedy (Henke).

Flavor points are so minimalistic that I need to consult a flavor wheel. I love the Famous Smoke version which you can get HERE. Sad note. Gary Korb, 70, died a few days ago from pancreatic cancer. He was a good guy. I met him around 2010. It was he that set me up as their first in-house reviewer with my own page. It was called “Cigar Odyssey. The Chronicles of Katmancross.” He came up with the name. I didn’t like that they used a photo of me in Curved Air and touched it up without consulting me. But that was small potatoes. After 6 months, Gary suggested I use Salon.com for my own blog. And that was how I started. God bless Gary’s family.

The slow roll gives me hope that the cigar will become complex and transitional, but unfortunately, it isn’t either. It tastes like any cigar with an Ecuadorian Connie wrapper and mild Nicaraguan guts. I’ve only just finished the first third. Fingers crossed.

HW’s assessment of the second third is a little more elaborate which I hope I experience. I need transitions to enjoy a smoke. I need to feel like a cigar is treating me to a good time. All that the Kelner 80 is doing is not offending me. I have no idea how many of these cigars that Jeff D. bought. I hope he didn’t buy more than a fiver. As I see the first half dwindling, all I can think of is that that’s almost $30 down the toilet. See, if you blindly review something, you never get the pleasure of dissing a cigar over money. Those guys are missing out.

The blend is subtle to the point that it feels like I’m smoking a crispy taco shell.

The first half saw strength residing at medium. It’s beginning to escalate. I feel like I can take a nosh and it wouldn’t affect the flavors of this cigar. Klaas Kelner ain’t bad at what he does. I’ve tasted several of his wares and they were very good but not everything hit the ten ring.

Creaminess, Ritz crackers, lemon zest, black pepper, cedar, and charcoal. 30 fucking bucks. This cigar is sold out almost everywhere. Smokers trusted the Kelner name. They probably thought it was a Hendrik blend and not the son’s. Here’s what upsets me. Sophisticated blenders know exactly what they put out to market. There are 20,000 Kelner 80’s floating around. That’s a lot of disappointment.

As the final third begins, there is definite improvement. The blend has been smooth from the onset. It remains the same. Honestly, I can’t tell if I’m merely willing the cigar to be better or if it actually is. It’s a very pleasant morning cigar. But I love my La Aurora Preferidos Connecticut I bought from Cigar Page. And it’s $14 before their 20% discount that gets you the Toro for $11. And surprise, it’s much better than this Kelner 80. I get what the Kelner 80 is trying to do. But instead of spending $57 for a single cigar, get a fiver of the La Aurora for the same price from Cigar Page.

I love a pleasant cigar. The Kelner 80 checks the boxes for a genial smoke. But there are zero transitions. Near zero complexity. Identifiable flavors are almost nonexistent. The last third finally dons some big boy pants. It’s better than average because of the good-humored quotient. I’m not a fan of blenders who think that their customers will forgive them for a boring, but expensive, cigar.

RATING: 84

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS