Wrapper: Grade 1 Ecuadorian Connecticut Shade
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan, Dominican
Size: 6 x 52 Toro
Strength: Medium
Price: $40.00
Date Released: December 2024
Quantity Released: 500 boxes of 15
Factory: TABACALERA LA iSLA, Dominican Republic
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Sometimes expensive cigars fly under the radar of reviewers. The industry sites have budgets that are a wonderful write off. For the rest of us child-like marmotians, it takes an act of God to procure a handful of $40 sticks. Hence, there is a gap in critiques. The only written review I found of this cigar was by Cigar Aficionado.
I’ve had my cigars for a mere month. The press machine states that these cigars were aged for one year after rolling. We pay storage fees for that service. What we don’t pay for is the after-release box aging because this was a 2024 limited release. We get two years of extra aging for free.
Most of us plan that expensive treat for after dinner while we are motoring down and forgetting the day. This is why I find Gellis’ choice to put a medium strength cigar in this category reduces optics considerably. My assumption is that the blend must have been designed with a full body experience to compensate. I only know a tiny fistful of people who smoke a quad-tenner for breakfast.
Since I have no one to get my cheat sheets from, I’m on my own recognizance with my opinions. It’s a dangerous place to be and one that most hominids avoid.
Gellis describes the flavor profile as “cream, vanilla, fruit, and a variety of spices.” Well, shit. Sounds like an $8 Gurkha Connie.
The wrapper’s aromas fall in line with expectations of floral, sweet cream, summer fruit, simmering caramel, and Weetabix.
I see my PerfecPunch pulsating in the corner. Waiting for instructions. I text Dr. Rod. He doesn’t respond as this is the time of day he spends in his hyperbaric oxygen chamber, smoking a Gordo, and snacking on Totino’s pizza rolls. His assistant is tasked with cleansing his chin and clearing his nasal poopies. Barring interference from the Dental Association of Kandahar, I plunge the 7mm punch into the cap and voila, a perfect airhole. Which will be on my tombstone.
The cold draw is spicy with notes of cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg. In second place, are further addendums of honey, caramel, red pepper, vanilla, lemon curd, malt, green tea, and mint.
First puffs of a good cigar can zing it home. The Piece Unique does so nicely with complexity, richness, sweetness, savory functions, and earthy blessings. I shall refer to this cigar as Father Merv from this point forward.
My palate is clean with only half a cup of coffee in my sag harbor belly.
Know what you miss out on if you do a tandem skydiving jump? You miss out on ground rush. The Ram Air chutes, that are rectangle, allow you superior descent speed so that you land on your feet, or your tushy, effortlessly. If you are unlucky enough to plummet towards your definitive death in the old round military chute (like the ones you see paratroopers used in WWI), you plummet much faster. When you are a greenhorn learning how to skydive, you are taught not to look at terra firma when you are roughly 100 feet from mama earth…and instead, stare at the horizon. This is because your instructors don’t want you to scream and pass out. You might only be descending at 20 mph, but it looks like five times that. Instead of crying like a baby bird, and looking for the white light, you stare at the horizon to calm the savage infant. You hit the ground with your knees bent, and roll. You practice this before your jumps, but it is done from a 4-foot platform, which is a joke. So, if you’d like to enjoy the thrill of being scared shitless as you stare at the ground thousands of feet from above, the tandem is the way to go. But if you’re looking for a similar thrill, and you want to see the ghosts of creditors past, do the single static line jump. Wear Depends, a hard plastic cup, a Maalox IV, and your health insurance card around your neck.
A lovely blend in its first inch. But not spectacular. I get the theory behind blind tasting, but it ain’t for me. Homing in on the cost per inch is a prerequisite.
The usual suspects of creamy sweet lemon, baking spices, vanilla bean, and black pepper. A million decent Connies are similar to a fault. Know what I’m waiting for? A cigar whose flavor profile includes that taste ‘smoked bacon.’
The second inch gives me an ah-ha moment. There is density. There is complexity. And I begin to love this cigar.
As inch number two recedes, I get it. This ain’t no ordinary Connie. This is a wonderful cigar that takes its time delivering what we crave. I kick back and enjoy. While Sammy waits for me to topple and then laugh in Farsi.
I had finished mixing the Eddie Munster song and its B side. So, it was on to the music video. I called Elvira Mistress of the Dark. She was very nice. I asked if she would like to be in the video. She immediately said yes. We talked about possible shots. We spent two hours on the phone. She had some very creative ideas. And then she asked about her fee. I explained that there would be money on the back end because in 1983, you could sell the damn things to tv. I heard her recoil in horror. “What? You want me to do this for free?” I explained further that everyone was volunteering their time, including famed cinematographer Marvin Rush. Her excitement for the project vanished. As a backup, I reached out to a Penthouse playmate of the month. I enjoyed having all the playmates on speed dial. She agreed to meet me at my studio. She showed up with a mob figure who wouldn’t let her talk. I described the plot and what her involvement would be. She smiled a lot. But Guido would have none of it until we discussed money. With a heavy sigh, I explained. That was the end. As they were leaving, he said that if I gave him $2000, I could have two hours with the young lady. I asked for a discount based on being a semi-famous bass player…and he responded: “Listen kid, the only discount you’ll get is that I don’t break your fingers before you pay me.” I carefully replenished my high school condom in the sacred place in my wallet and said goodbye.
The flavor profile doesn’t vary. It sticks to the basics but there are layers upon layers. This cigar is becoming the stuff of legends. Cigar Aficionado said the cigar finishes with fruit and pencil lead. Oh, I hope not.
The first half was ultra transitional. The second half is becoming phenomenal. It is the mysterious event horizon we want from every cigar but our own private diocese is rewarded only seldomly. I’m in really good place now. Lo and behold, the strength shifts from medium to medium/full. Now it’s an after-dinner smoke.
The cigar travels to its demise beautifully. Not a single criticism. It was a 2-hour study in perfection. The surprising strength in the second half and the incredible full body allowed me to set the cigar down so I could have a light breakfast. With food in my belly, I re-lit the cigar, and it continued to be stellar.
I could pontificate on and on but all you need to know is that this is a wonderful cigar. If I had Dr. Rod’s bankroll, I’d buy a box.
For one week only, you can buy this cigar for a 38% discount from sponsor Cigar Page. Instead of $40 per stick, you will get them for $25. They went from out of reach to attainable. You’re not going to get a better deal from any retailer. Go to Krazy Katman’s Bargain Basement HERE.
RATING: 97
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
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