Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan Cuban Seed
Size: 6 x 50 “Toro”
Body: Full
Price: $5.00

From the sublime to the absurd.
From Beluga caviar to tuna fish sandwich.
From La Jugada Nunchuck to 5 Vegas Miami.

I don’t like this brand. It is mundane and pedestrian. But George Rico sent me ONE stick for review. Last of the big time spenders. CI’s catalog says the blend is so superior to the old blend that I just had to provide my view.

This is from CI:
“Outdoing the original blend seemed impossible, but owner and master blender George Rico succeeded with ease.”

I could have sworn that the original blend came from Pepin Garcia and then he dropped his association with the cigar a few years ago.
I would love to be surprised. So let’s see.

The cigar is very light in the hand. Not even close to being jam packed. More like a tiny fairy dancing on my testicles. Seams are tight. Lots of large and small veins. The wrapper is the color of caramel with what appears to be a sloppy triple cap. A double cap at the least. The wrapper feels silky smooth.

The cigar band is exactly the type my shit for brains cheap camera hates: Aluminum sheen highly reflective silver and gold lame’. And in tiny words, almost invisible to the eye it says “MIAMI.”

I clip the cap and find aromas of earthiness, luscious dark cocoa, caramel, spice, a cooking spice I can’t put my finger on, and cedar.
Time to light up.

The draw is spot on. Black pepper begins to rise to the occasion. But it don’t taste like much yet, Ma. The earthiness is about the only flavor besides the spiciness.

And as I type that, (schmuck) I get a nutty element.

I’ve had this cigar in my humidor for a little over a month so it’s either ready to go, or it ain’t. I do not care.

I’m having burn problems usually associated with too much humidity or just poor rolling. You know..that V burn where it tries to canoe on you. And thereby, forcing you to char a considerable amount of wrapper to get it even with the bottom of the V. Shameful.

I’m sorry, but I am sitting here laughing wondering why I wasted a nice sunny morning on this dog turd.

There basically is no flavor profile by the 1” mark. Spice and nuts. And the tiniest bit of sweetness.

In my humble opinion, 5 Vegas is the starter brand for newbies and cigar smokers without palates. I don’t mean you, kind readers. Someone else…the guy next to you.

The char line seems to be doing much better. No one reviews this drek.
And then, I get a small surprise in the form of flavor. Eureka.

OK now, here they are: Spice, earthiness, nuts, sweetness, creaminess, toast, cedar and leather.
That’s an improvement.

While CI asks $5 for this stick, it’s real worth can probably be found on Cbid for $1.75-$2.00 a stick.
The ash is lazy and flaky…like me.

I hate to say this to my cynical self but the cigar is beginning to taste like a cigar short of the end of the first third. Caramel plays a huge role and add the creaminess and newly found cocoa; this becomes a nice cigar. Way better than the first 1-1/2” led me to believe. I am duly shocked.

The key is 4-5 weeks humidor time. I did read one review from someone I’ve never heard of and he got it all wrong. I know that now. He smoked it too soon. And all he got were rudimentary flavors.

The strength is a light medium. I can’t wait to see when it is going to breach medium/full.

A fruitiness appears. Black cherry. Usually associated with a darker wrapper.

OK. You’ve got me dead to rights on being an arrogant asshole. This cigar is turning out to be a real treat. Now if I had self-esteem issues, I’d go back and erase all that shit I wrote dissing this cigar. But I prefer to show you what a schmageggy I am instead. As usual, I don’t know shit.

Now if Mr. George Rico had sent me at least 2-3 cigars instead of one, I would have known how nice the cigar is going into this review. So I hold him responsible for me being an asshole.

The char line is dead nuts.

I wrote that pre-release review of the La Jugada Nunchuck and I’m still on Cloud 9…from the nicotine mostly.
The second third begins. Wonderful flavors. Not bold, but very well delineated and formed in a conga line.
The first time the sun has come out in a week here in Milwaukee…and it happens while I am reviewing a dollar stick. But at least the 5 Vegas Miami has that gorgeous oily caramel wrapper to show off.

The strength moves up to medium/full to my complete shock in the blink of an eye as it approaches the halfway point in the cigar.

There is about a 50/50 chance the cigar might become a flavor bomb.

The spice becomes red pepper and excels by burning the living shit out of the tip of my tongue.
The char line continues to impress.

Flavors remain the same but now are very potent and bold. I have no memory of what the earlier Miami tasted like but I do like this one. The first third completely threw me for a loop with its mediocrity.

Getting this stick on Cbid is a no brainer. $2 a stick. Hell, yeah. It reminds me of the La Aurora Escogido Natural. Which is only available at Famous Smoke and which I’ve deemed the best $2 cigar on the planet.
I had a great story for the end of the review that I planned last night and now I can’t remember what the fuck it was. Goddam old brain!

I am officially at the halfway mark and the cigar is blossoming into a flavor bomb and the strength moves to full bodied.

Nicotine pelts my puny brain pan.

I hit my 1700th follower yesterday and posted a thank you to everyone. Funny thing about blogs. 99% of readers never comment. But that 1% is what keeps you going. I feel like every regular commenter is a good friend. Man, would I love to get us all in one room together for 48 hours and do nothing but smoke cigars and laugh.

Here are the current flavors: Spice, earthiness, creaminess, caramel, black cherry, cedar, raisin, and leather.

I can say at this point that I was a jerk at the start of the review allowing my prejudice to guide my typing hands.

I recommend this cigar highly. It is a good knock around cigar. A good cigar to give to your mooch friends and just a good stick to keep on hand.

I remember now. It was an Eddie Munster story. Got it.

Godamm the pusher man! This cigar is bursting with flavor. And the nicotine level is manageable.

The last third begins and if you like your cigars spicy, creamy, full of sweet caramel, with flavors of black cherry, and full bodied, then this is your stick.

The cigar blend was a very pleasant surprise. The stick finishes up cool and without a hint of bitterness. The nicotine never got too bad. And it was a very flavorful stick.

I would never pay $5 for it. But on Cbid, you can score a deal and it is definitely worth $2. My only recommendation is that you allow it a full month before lighting one up.

And now for something completely different:

I’ve published this before but it’s been awhile so for my loyal and longtime readers, my apologies.

I hated Butch Patrick from almost the beginning. He had some serious substance abuse problems and was unreliable. Mostly from alcohol. His dad was an alcoholic so it ran in the family.

For those that don’t know about my association with Butch it began while I owned my recording studio in Long Beach. A good friend had grown up across the street from Butch and brought him to my studio. Butch had a rough idea for a song called “Whatever Happened to Eddie?”

He did a rough demo in some guy’s living room and they used the theme from the Munsters.
So I organized the whole thing, got Butch to sign a management deal and off we went.

I brought in real musicians to record the song and the B side. It was to be a 45 single…yes, those were the days.

The single ended up selling 181,000 units in 4 months before the FBI shut down the record company…another story.

Because Butch was so unreliable, he was a handful.

The record was finished. Time to move on to the music video which I wrote, produced and directed. I got a top notch film crew to help me out.

We shot at two locations. The first was Hollywood High School and the second was at the Princess Louise docked at San Pedro Harbor. Permanently. It had two restaurants and a chapel on top for weddings.

We signed with Rocshire Records who were tied to the mob. Didn’t know that at the time.
Remember, back in 1983, it was the birth of the MTV nation. We were ground breakers.

The record company and PR firm sent Butch and me on a PR tour across America.

Now Butch had no musical talent. So the band, Eddie and the Monsters, had a member who did the singing. I played bass which in the video portrayed Butch did. So we couldn’t play live. Basically, we were Milli Vanilli.

We did the Today show in NYC. Rockefeller Center. The Rock.
I met Bryant Gumbel and Jane Pauley.

They literally couldn’t make up their minds as to who was going to interview Butch right into the commercial prior to the interview.

Bryant, you do it. No, Jane you do it.

Gumbel slammed his hand on to the desk and said, “Goddam good thing we don’t make dynamite here!!”

Also being interviewed was Billy Mumy of “Lost in Space” fame. Now Billy had his shit together and I remember watching the interview wishing I could manage Billy instead of Butch.

The interview went well and we took off with Billy to some high falutin’ bar in Manhattan.
They put us up at the Waldorf Astoria.

Some girls approached Butch and invited us to a party out on Long Island. Butch pleaded that we go. But it was a very long ride.

I reminded him that we had an early radio interview with Don Imus in the morning and we couldn’t stay long. He agreed.

Well, the worst happened. Butch got sloshed and coked up and it wasn’t until 2am that we headed back to the hotel.

I got up at 6 am. Butch got to sleep at 5am.

When I got out of bed, I went into the adjoining room and there were a dozen people on the floor, out cold. Half were naked.

I rattled Butch awake but he was still very drunk. He begged me to call the radio station and postpone the interview until the next day. We fought but I eventually gave in and called the station.

Man, they were pissed off. I was put on hold for several minutes. The voice on the phone said to make sure Butch was there at 7am the next day and he hung up on me.

So I told Butch I made the arrangements he asked for.

And then from left field, he told me that he was OK and to call them back and tell them we could do that morning’s interview.
I exploded.

I dragged him to the floor. I mounted his chest and began to strangle him. Really. Pounding his head on the floor at the same time.

In a croaking voice, he pleaded with me to stop and I regained my senses. I was already packed.

I threw his airplane ticket on his chest along with a $20 bill and told him he better be at the interview. And I left for the airport.

When I got home, the record company and PR firm were furious with me. I didn’t care.

Butch returned home, having done the Imus interview as scheduled, but we didn’t talk for a week.
He came over to apologize and I allowed him to do so.

I owned my own home in Long Beach and I had made myself some spaghetti for lunch. Butch showed up drunk with a beer in his hand.

He began to speak and I requested that he wait until I finished my lunch. He kept talking. I kept asking him to stop. Finally, out of frustration and anger, I got up and threw my plate of spaghetti across the room and it smashed into the wall across from me.
To be continued…

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: 5 vegas, cigar review, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, george rico, New 5 Vegas Miami Cigar Review