Wrapper: Nicaraguan
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5 x 54 “Box Pressed”
Body: Full
Price: $25.00

Today we take a look at the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural.
Thanks to Bryan Kinnaman for the cigar.
Never smoked one. Now seems the time.
Cigar Aficionado’s Top 25 Cigars List of 2014, it received No.7.
In 2015, it received two ratings: a 92 and 94.
In its description of the cigar, it said: “Between its dark, reddish gleam and perfect pressing, this cigar is beautiful to behold. The draw delivers abundant notes of coffee, cocoa bean, nuts and rich earth.”

DESCRIPTION:
A fairly crisp box press. I can no longer remember to write down the names of readers who send me cigars. It’s not that I’m getting a slew of care packages, but I just forget in the excitement of getting a package, to write down the name and the cigars in the package. So, once again, I ask for your indulgence. Please email me and tell me who sent this to me so I can thank you.

Back to the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural. It has the appearance of a dark bittersweet chocolate candy bar. Glistening from oils. Nearly invisible seams. Very few veins. A perfect triple cap. And solid as a rock.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell chocolate, coffee, spice, honey sweetness, cream, cedar, and barnyard.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell barnyard, very, very strong spiciness, almonds, chocolate, coffee, sweetness, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of steak sauce, spiciness, sweetness, coffee, nuts, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
For such a packed cigar, it has a very airy draw.
Spice bomb attack. Love that.
Then a barrage of chocolate, cream, sweetness, rich dark earthy notes, cinnamon, nuts, cedar, and fruit.

It appears that this Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural was aged perfectly. What a huge relief.
The spice is black pepper…and lots of it. I’m a junkie for spice in my cigars. I know the purist master blenders poo poo that considering a spicy cigar not finished in its fermentation process but they were forced to give in because American cigar smokers love the spiciness.

The char line starts off neat as pin and, fingers crossed, stays that way. For $25, I expect perfect construction.
Strength comes out of the gate at medium/full. What a great blend and it unrolls its potency in the first quarter of an inch.

This morning’s music selection it “The Fabulous Thunderbirds-Live.” I love this album. And as I’ve said before, the bassist, drummer, and guitarists have been friends since the early 80’s. And Stephen Hodges, the drummer, and I went to high school together and played in cover bands in the 60’s and 70’s.
My dear friend, Rick Tunstall, sent me a pair of super pro head phones so that I could record my bass using the software he sent me. But I couldn’t understand, or remember the instructions, he gave me. This was the first sign of something was wrong with me. Thank you dear Rick.

The ash is very flaky and comes off at the half inch mark.
The fruit flavor becomes black cherries.

And here they are in order: Black pepper, coffee, creaminess, chocolate, malts, black cherries, cedar, nuts, rich earthy notes, cinnamon, nutmeg, and a nice sweetness that I can’t identify.

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is so complex that no matter how much I smack my lips, I have trouble discerning specific flavors. They have melded into one giant ball of delectable treats.
Speaking of delectable treats, I shaved my balls last night. Just woke up at 3am and decided it was time. I believe they will heal nicely.

While the draw is too airy for my tastes, the jam packed tobacco is making this a very slow smoke. ¾” has taken 15 minutes.
So far, the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is producing all the qualities of a cigar this expensive. To be honest, it is the first expensive cigar I’ve smoked that seems to be worth it and I still have over 4” to go. Woo Hoo!

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural certainly deserved all the awards and ratings it got. But based on my experience, I would have certainly rated it higher than a 92. What CA never explains is the humidor time a cigar gets before being presented to them. They tell you they don’t have the original cigar bands but what about the humidor time allotted to the manufacturer? How much notice do they get that they will be reviewed? Too many holes in the piece of cheese.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 30 minutes.
The char line is wavy. It needs a serious touch up. There should be a razor sharp burn line.
The malts are the usual suspects. If you read me regularly, you should know them by heart by now. The malts are very potent.

But what isn’t potent any longer is the black pepper. It has moved to the middle of the pack. A shame. Maybe resurgence in the last third of the cigar.

I’m having more fun that getting a blow job. Remember, I’m 66 in two weeks or so.

I remember back when I was around 23 a girl I was screwing and gave the worst BJ’s ever. She was a nice looking girl but too skinny. And sex was torturous. First she started off with a BJ but used her horse-like teeth that had me slapping her in the side of the head to get her to stop doing that. It felt like she was scraping the skin from a carrot. My hands were so clenched on the bed, my knuckles were so white that astronauts could see them from space.
And second, when she rode the stallion, she was so skinny that her pubic bone was like being hit with a ballpeen hammer on my pubic bone with every downward strike. The first time we had sex, I had a giant bruise down there for days.

And worst of all, she stopped by whenever she felt like it without giving me notice. I told her to stop doing that. She then became a stalker. And I would close the curtains in the house we rented in Santa Ana, Ca. And when she knocked, I’d be as quiet as a church mouse. Finally, I had to tell her “Go Away!!!!” She finally did after a few more house calls.

Each puff of the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is pure heaven. I really haven’t smoked a cigar this good in I don’t know how long. Nothing I’ve given high ratings to comes close.
Strength is full bodied now.

Sonja, Curved Air, and I bunked together the first tour. She used to wake me up in the middle of the night with a blow job. It was fun the first few times, but then…believe it or not, it got old. I know, I know…shame on me.

But my girlfriend that I came home to at the end of every tour was much better in bed than Sonja. Because I was new to the Rock Star biz, I figured I’d better go along or fear that I’d be bounced from the band.
Sonja was a major sex kitten in Europe. Everyone knew who she was across the continent. And when we played, the young boys clamored around her in front of the stage. And stood in droves after the concert to get a quick look at her. Meanwhile, I thought you dudes are fucking idiots. I’m banging this broad and she ain’t nothin’ special. LOL.

Transitions are so important to a blend. It adds to the complexity. I get a kick out of some young reviewers that no one has heard about that don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. While I did some research, I found this one site in which the reviewer actually said, “This cigar is very nice. It stays the same throughout the smoke.” LOL
Now that’s experience for you.

A honey element and dried fruit component appear that take over the sweetness category.
I’m ruined for the rest of the day.

BTW- Someone sent me a cigar not sold in the States called El Septimo. And the one stick I got is called the Short Dream Topaz series. Never heard of them and if I did the math correctly, it is an extremely expensive cigar. So would the kind reader that sent it to me please contact me. Based on the money conversion, the cigar goes for $683.00.
Please contact me.

I don’t have enough cigars to review every day until Feb.10. So I will probably take a couple breaks.
Halfway point.
Smoke time is one hour.

Music change. Out goes the Fabulous Thunderbirds and in comes Led Zep.
I’m wearing this triple CD set blind. Thank you again for the wonderful birthday present Bryan Kinnaman. Best present I’ve gotten in years.
“I’ve been so dazed and confused for so long…” My theme song as of late. LOL.

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is a masterpiece of blending. I usually rail against the cost of expensive cigars that are certainly not worth it.
But I’d pay $25 for this cigar. I’ve reviewed $15-$25 cigars in the past and not one was worth the price.

The transitions are fast and furious.

Something I’ve never addressed. The first time I saw Zep in concert, I was blown away when I saw Jimmy Page use a violin bow on his Les Paul.
So both the guitarist and I, in the band Homegrown, went out and bought ourselves bows.
He had more success than I did. I could only use the bow on my E string and G string. Why? Because I didn’t have an arched bridge like stand up basses have. But I still made the most of it and got it down pretty well for the right songs.

Here they are once again: Nuts, creaminess, coffee, black cherries, chocolate, malts, dried fruit, cinnamon, black pepper, and cedar.
The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is a powerful cigar. And only now, do I feel the effects of nicotine. My motor functions are slowing down. My vision is blurred. And I can’t get an erection.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.
The draw is right where it should be now. A little resistance but no longer airy.
I am so nicotine bloated, I don’t notice in the photo below I’ve taken a picture of the cigar with the wrong side showing:

The nicotine slows me way down.
Too many touch ups required for a $25 cigar.
The spiciness returns as predicted.

The black cherry element is very strong now. And a touch of honey complements it.
The coffee and creaminess makes for a great cappuccino.
The nuttiness spreads out: Almonds, pepitas, raw cashew, and hazelnuts.
Damn. I’m impressed. Such a relief after a couple dud cigars.

The nicotine calms down. So do I.

I’m not taking Charlotte with me to see Dr. Book tomorrow at the U of W Medical College to hear her new diagnosis. She now has all the test results from the other neurologists I saw. And her instant diagnosis of severe depression has changed.
This time, I’m going to demand blood be taken and an MRI scheduled.

I know the price is ridiculous. But this is such an outstanding blend, that I must eat my words about expensive cigars never being worth the price point.
I’m curious about the other Family Series blends.
Final smoke time is one hour 40 minutes.
Everyone should try at least one Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural.

RATING: 95

Here is Why You are Really Reading Me Cause It Ain’t for the Reviews, Honey Pie:
1974

Curved Air’s first tour was with the four out of five original members of the band. I was the only new addition. They were very nice people; at first. They treated me well. Of course, that would change. Politics of Dancing.

A PR photo shoot was planned to be at Miles Copeland’s house in St. John’s Wood. A block away, was the famous EMI Studio, also known as Abbey Road Studio. It was the only road in London that the city stopped putting up street signs. They painted the name of the road on block walls in front of houses. Tourists stole the signs about 15 minutes after they were installed.

Stewart Copeland lived in a flat about 3 doors down from the studio. We were really poor. Management only paid us 50£ a week to survive on. But they also paid our rent and expenses. On the road, the pay doubled.

Stew and I hung out together a lot. So we had dinner together all the time. He showed me his poor man’s dinner of cooked spaghetti with melted butter and four brussel sprouts on it. Actually, it was very tasty. And cheap. That’s right. Only 4 brussel sprouts. Two per man.

I had only known the band a week when we did the first photo shoot. We hadn’t even rehearsed yet. Darryl, the leader and violinist of the band, picked me up in his little Triumph. A two seater with a bit of a tiny storage area behind the seats.

After picking me up, we headed to Miles’ house. The shoot was a lot of fun because I had never done anything like this before. I was only 24. And my first foray into big time music. Plus it was my chance to meet the band and SONJA!

Getting into his car required a can opener and a shoe horn. When the photo shoot was over, we immediately went to Miles’ bar and helped ourselves. Miles wasn’t around. Miles had one of those 200 year old houses that was lavish and historical.

It was time to leave and Sonja asked for a ride home to Hampton Heath. I allowed her the front seat and I found myself jammed into the back like a small piece of luggage or rat dog. Man, that was uncomfortable.

It began to pour buckets of rain on the way. And it was rush hour. Both of them smoked cigarettes and I have never smoked a cig in my entire life; hand to God.

The windows had to be closed because of the torrential rain. Not even a tiny crack open. Pretty soon, I got car sick. The cigarette smoke and the cramped quarters and the stopping and going really did a number on me. I begged them to open a window but when they tried, the rain came in.

We finally dropped off Sonja. I was sick as a dog and it had taken us a good hour to get her home.
She invited us in and Darryl accepted because he wanted a drink. He was an alchy. Sonja immediately came on to me. I must have been pale as a ghost and ready to blow chunks. She rubbed herself up and down against me. First time I couldn’t get a boner.

This is the only photo I have of that photo shoot. L-R Florian Pilkington-Miksa, Francis Monkman, Sonja Kristina, Darryl Way, and me:

I got in the front seat and I told Darryl how car sick I was. He laughed and told me he had the cure. We stopped at a pub. He told me the cure was a snifter of brandy. I had my doubts but I was new to the band and played along. I felt anything on my part could get me fired.

Well, as you can imagine, the brandy only made it worse. We got back in his car where I immediately puked on his floor. We pulled over, in the pouring rain, and he made me clean it up. He was gagging from the smell, and sight, of what I did. I started to get the dry heaves.

All I could think was I wasn’t making a good impression on my boss.

The car’s windshield wipers didn’t work right and Darryl had to keep putting his arm out of the window and use a rag on the glass so he could see. Meanwhile, I used another rag to get rid of the fogged wind screen. (That’s what they call a wind shield in the UK)

We got to a four way stop controlled by Bobbies. Darryl couldn’t see and went right through the stop. A Bobbie in the middle of the road stopped us and began to yell.

Darryl explained and the cop let us go. Darryl drove another 30 feet and actually hit a Bobbie
controlling traffic. He was going slow and just knocked him over. All of the cops descended on us and the yelling did not help my stomach. But they let us go with a warning. In America, we would have both been gunned down in the car. Bobbies were pretty even keeled blokes. They had to be. NO guns. Just a night stick.

An hour later, I was finally home. Where I went straight to bed and lay there moaning for God knows how long.
They never let me hear the end of that. For over two years, that story came up every 20 minutes in mixed company.
I have never written about this. Why now? Who knows? I must suffer from PTSD from that incident.

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar review, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural Cigar Review