Strain: Sour Diesel
Grade: Top Shelf
Price per gram: $18.00
Purchased at: Hazel Dispensary
Number of joints smoked prior to review: 2
Guest review by Calvin Kushman.
From the fresh nug, I smell super unleaded gasoline (I’m guessing 89 octane), peppers, a fresh greens scent, and a deep “earthy” tone (yes Phil, I mean like dirt). Ever see an open salad bar at a gas station? This is the equivalent.
Five times, I tried to roll a blunt with some various premium cigar wrappers for this review. First a Sumatra wrapper, then an Ecuadorian Connecticut, followed by a Connecticut Broadleaf, then a Mexican San Andreas and finally a Honduran Candela.
All resulted in failure.
I don’t know how some people make them so easily. Must be an I.Q. thing.
TIME TO LIGHT UP:
I rolled this joint with rice paper. Hopefully it doesn’t alter the taste too much.
The first couple of hits taste like a Cajun seasoned charbroiled steak. Seriously. I think these rice papers did alter the taste a bit; but in a good way. There’s a definite fuel flavor in both the inhale and exhale. I wonder if a vaporizer would create highly combustible fumes with this weed.
My eyes are watering and I’m trying hard not to burst into an uncontrollable coughing fit. The fresh greens taste lingers in my mouth for a while after each hit. If I ever see a bottle of salad dressing with the Shell logo on it…..
This is, supposedly, a Hybrid strain but to me it’s a fully grown sativa. The back of my brain has become numb and my frontal lobes are focused. I believe I can see into an alternate parallel dimension of existence. I have X-ray vision but only to the extent of seeing the color of underwear women are wearing around me.
Oh wait a minute… I’m at the beach.
This cerebral high is a definitive characteristic of a sativa strain. It could, technically, be a sativa dominant hybrid but then I would feel a bit nauseated; or at least dizzy by now if I had indeed smoked a hybrid.
I feel strangely calm as I go into stealth mode and urinate in my pants while standing waist deep in the ocean water. Ah, that refreshing feeling of transitioning from coldness to warm. Like immersing myself into a bubbling jacuzzi. I tell my friends the water is warm where I’m standing. They raise an eyebrow of hesitant caution; then quickly back away. Overly sensitive weirdos.
An hour later, we are back in the car for our return trip home. I light up another joint. Same flavors as before. This one gets my energy flowing and I feel my blood percolating. I am completely focused on the road in front of me. (I remember when I couldn’t drive at all being stoned. Huge strides in that motor function.)
Now, I’m like a professional racetrack driver on the freeway. I laugh, triumphantly, under the thick clouds of smoke. Each hit provides me with new ideas of all kinds of cool things to do once we get home.
A worm hole in time:
One of my friends suddenly taps my shoulder and says, “What the fuck dude? Start the fucking car man. Quit talking to yourself and let’s fucking go already.”
It seems that I flooded the engine so now we must wait awhile longer. What a great time to roll another joint.
To everyone reading, if you haven’t smoked Sour Diesel yet, fucking go get some right now.
Once again, Calvin, nice review.
Left to right….Sativa, Indica, and Hybrid:
From Green Doctor Network:
“Sativa strain types are known to produce an uplifting and cerebral high that is typically very energizing and stimulating. Sativa are known to make you laugh uncontrollably or engage in in-depth conversations about the meaning of life. These strains typically cause you to analyze the human experience and think creatively, which makes Cannabis Sativa very popular among philosophers, artists and musicians. Some Sativa have even been found to enhance lights and sounds, making music, movies, and the rest of your surroundings more vibrant than ever before.”
“The effects produced by Indica strain types are very relaxing and narcotic-like, typically providing a full-body, or “couch-locked” effect. Indica are perfect for those days spent curled up on the couch watching TV, or surfing the web. However, most people use Cannabis Indica after a long day at work to relieve stress, provide full-body pain relief, and help them fall asleep at night.
“Indica strains are ideal for chronic pain, muscle spasms, anxiety, nausea, appetite stimulation, and sleep deprivation. Individuals who suffer from diseases like multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, lupus, sleep apnea and insomnia tend to benefit from the effects of Cannabis Indica.”
“There are a wide range of cannabis strains in between Indica and Sativa. These strains are known as “Hybrids” and show traits directly related to the genetics in its lineage. Hybrids can be broken down into three basic categories:
1). “Sativa-dominant Hybrids: Cerebral high with a relaxing body effect. Provides physical and mental relief.
2). “Even Hybrids (50/50): Ideal strains for people seeking a perfect balance of head and body.
3). “Indica-dominant Hybrids: These strains provide a full-body pain relief, with a relaxing head high. Recommended for nighttime use to go to sleep, or daytime relief from minor pain. These strains are perfect for patients who suffer from all types of autoimmune diseases as well as insomnia or depression.”
According to Popular Science:
“If you’re an adult who has smoked marijuana in the past year, you’re one of about 30 million Americans who has done so, according to a new survey by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). That’s 9.5% of our population.”
Did you know that there are hundreds more weed review sites than cigar review sites?
THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION TO CONSUME ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. I am simply trying to educate and shine the light on the medical uses for marijuana. We currently have 25 states that allow legal weed dispensaries in the United States. There is a lot of enlightenment in not only those states…but the other 25 who make it a misdemeanor to a felony for possession. If you choose to use medical marijuana, please do all the research you can before deciding on what is best for you.
Remember…Never smoke cannabis and drive. It is illegal the same as driving drunk in the law’s eyes. Not to mention how dangerous it is. Even if you are only driving 5mph because the cannabis has made you paranoid.
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
Hahaha this is hilarious. Looks like potent stuff too. Hope old Katman gets to toke some of that.
Calvin lives in an enlightened part of the country. Since I reside in fascist Wisconsin, I don’t expect legal dispensaries til the year 2047. I will be 98 years old.
Will you write more about this? Oh my goodness! A excellent article. Any team would be lucky to have you on it.
Thank you…make me an offer.