Bugatti Signature | Cigar Reviews by the Katman

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Dominican Piloto Cubano (10 years aged)
Filler: Nicaraguan, Brazilian, USA
Size: 5 x 54 Robusto
Body: Full
Price: $13.50
Humidor Time: 9 weeks
Number of cigars smoked prior to review: 0

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Today we take a look at the Bugatti Signature.

BACKGROUND:
Regular production.
Debuted at the 2016 IPCPR trade show.
Produced at the PDR factory in the Dominican Republic. They should have had AJ or Pepin Garcia make them instead of PDR. (I don’t have a good feeling about this blend being produced by PDR. Not exactly a high premium blender).

There isn’t much info about this cigar blend. The popular blend is the Ambassador.
I only found one crap review of the Signature. Not a good sign.
But once again, a big fancy company is using you as ploys to over price their wares just so you have the bragging rights to your friends. You have a cigar named after a car. Woo Hoo.
I can’t wait for the Ford Pinto or the Chevy Corvair brands to come out.

SIZES AND PRICING (A little less by the box or 5 pack):
Robusto 5 x 54 $13.50
Toro 6 x 54 $14.50
Churchill 7 x 52 $15.00

DESCRIPTION:
A semi-oily sandy/caramel ordinary stick. The cigar feels too light in the loafers. I expect a quick burn.
Seams are invisible. Triple cap is dynamite. Overall decent construction. But no pizazz.
The hologram-like double cigar bands put me in a trance if I stare too long.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell chocolate, spice, sweet notes, floral notes, cedar, orange blossoms, malt, and coffee.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell red pepper, clove, cocoa, coffee, cedar, green vegetal notes, cedar, grass, and hay.
The cold draw presents flavors of mineral notes, ginger, red pepper, malt, cedar, orange zest, cocoa, and coffee.

FIRST THIRD:
A cardboard taste hits first followed by some red pepper.
The Bugatti Signature starts off with a limp dick and a bushel full of hemorrhoids. I saw this cigar going for as high as $14.50 by the single.

You know where this review is going. I’m going to be the first critic to review a cigar that came out months ago. Fucking great.

The draw is very good.
Flavors suck. Spice is barely noticeable. The cardboard element is leading the charge.

Barely from the back of the pack, some flavors appear: Cream, sweetness, cedar, and mocha java. That’s all, folks.

This must be a joke cigar. Who are these idiots at Bugatti that choose to go to one of the least respected factories by experienced smokers? Because it was CHEAP! The folks at Bugatti know nothing about cigars. Clearly, they made stupid decisions. And now I’m reviewing one of those stupid decisions.

They do have a lot of balls charging $14 for a single cigar that tastes like shit. Did they really think that smokers would pay an arm and a leg just because it has the word “Bugatti” on it? That’s a lot of disrespect from the car company to the consumer.

Turns out it is exactly what I expected….a $1.30 PDR bundle cigar. No character, no flavors, no transitions, no complexity, and begins totally listless. A $14 cigar should grab you by the balls from the very start and not let go.
And humidor time has nothing to do with this. 2 months? Are you kidding me.

I’m an inch in and there is just shit for flavor. If it doesn’t dramatically improve by the halfway point, I’m putting it down. I’m not going to torture myself about completing a review of this dog turd.

I’m not going to bother with photos or anything else other than writing.

The burn is going for canoe status.

This is such a travesty for the smoking public. Another Joe Camel representation of how enough PR can sell a product to anyone. Especially the dumb and uninformed.

The real dichotomy is that the damn cigar is so fully packed; it is smoking slower than a cloudy day at the beach.

The mineral qualities are front and center. Cardboard comes in second. And a random number of unidentifiable flavors follow in the shadows.

I was going to inform you about a deal that CI has with the Bugatti Humidified 5-Star Sampler worth $49 but going for $30. Three of the cigars are in the $14 range and the others in the $10 range. But now I’m not going to because I forbid you from buying anything from this shit for brains Bugatti.

Now the Bugatti Ambassador got a few reviews. Same price as the Signature. And they ripped into this blend like a lion on a gazelle. Only one review scored it. 80. The rest complained that there is no flavor, no redeeming value of any sort. Same crappy flavors throughout the entire cigar.
Fucking great. Should have read this shit before committing to this review.

Well, this is a record for me for being the shortest review I’ve ever written.

The Bugatti Signature is actually getting worse…if that’s possible. And it has ruined the joy of the first cigar of the day for me.

Fuck Bugatti and the car they drove in on.

RATING: 12

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3 replies

  1. Uncle Katman for PRESIDENT!! YOU Rock, man!

  2. Thanks I learnt the word “hemorrhoids”

  3. Thanks for taking one for the team, Cousin Phil! I thought they stoppped making this shit in the ’90s boom. Flavor notes include hype, cynicism and fraud.