Strain: White Buffalo
Type: Sativa dominant Hybrid
Parent Strains: Bay 11 and Romulan
Price per gram: $15.00
Purchased from: Space Monkey Meds
Another guest review by Calvin Kushman.
Calvin has written 6 other cannabis reviews since October of last year. This makes No.7.
I have been amazed at how many hits I get on those reviews each and every day. I’ve heard from real cannabis review sites who tell me they enjoy these reviews.
I hid the category from the header of my main page worried I would be judged in a negative light. Then I realized that most people look at me in a negative light already because I’m a brutal, sarcastic S.O.B. anyway so who cares if a 68 year old man publishes reviews about weed.
Calvin has been a good friend to me for years. He lives on the left coast where there are more cannabis medical dispensaries than there are liquor stores.
I was finally convinced by Calvin, over a year ago, that I should try smoking again to combat the chronic pain in my back and neck due to the near lethal skydiving accident in 2001.
So after over 35 years of not touching the stuff, I went ahead and gave it a try. Now back in the day, we bought either the 4 or 5 finger lid for either $10 or $15.
Things have changed. Weed is now a designer drug carefully engineered by chemists and botanists. And prices have changed dramatically.
The first time I tried it a year ago, I was blessed with the first night of full sleep in 16 years…no thrashing all night from pain. I slept soundly without pain. It felt like a miracle.
So now, with Calvin’s help, we have found the perfect Indica strains for me to use a couple hours before bedtime. Charlotte does the same thing…she has a couple of health issues that the weed really helps alleviate.
I do see a pain management doctor. I have been doing this since my accident. Miraculously, I have been able to cut back on my pain medication by 2/3rd’s. That in itself says a lot about the medicinal qualities of an herbal plant.
So now you know; even if you had already suspected that this old Hippie is probably smoking pot. Still, I’m not writing the reviews. It’s all Calvin. He is a true aficionado of the stuff and knows his shit.
You may go ahead and judge me but that’s OK. I make judgments every time I write a cigar review. So if I’m abhorrent to you for indulging in “homeopathic” medicine to relieve pain, then so be it. But I hope you don’t judge. The stoners will understand.
OK Calvin…let it rip…
PROLOGUE:
Today we shall enjoy my favorite sativa strain, White Buffalo. Crossbred from the Sativa, Bay 11 and the well-known Indica, Romulan, White Buffalo is typically considered as an 80:20 Sativa dominant Hybrid. I have seen different ratios given at different dispensaries and I have even seen it sold as an Indica dominant Hybrid, although that is a rare occurrence.
This particular sample is from Space Monkey Meds, $60 for 4 grams delivered by Kush Rush in San Jose CA. It is packed in a vacuum sealed can, much like a small tin of chewing tobacco.
AROMAS:
After opening the can, I take a whiff of the weed and I smell a strange scent of dark fruit and sage. There’s a slight hint of fuel in there as well. This is much different than other White Buffalo that I have gotten before at other places. I remember it smelling like a frosted pine tree in the wintertime. Well, let’s see how the taste compares.
Time to light it up…
EFFECTS:
I pack a bowl in a bong and take a moderately large sized hit. I don’t smoke as much weed as I did when I was younger. So, after a rather painful fit of coughing and wheezing, I feel dizzy and light headed…and then take a smaller hit so I may take note of the flavor profile.
I taste an interesting combination of ripened plums, Jolly Rancher apple candy, fresh herbs, diesel fuel, and Chinese Hawthorne. The diesel fuel is reminiscent of the sativa strain, Sour Diesel. The apple Jolly Rancher is more of a softened undertone. The dominant flavors are the plum and Hawthorne, with a kick of extra sweetness at the end.
Oh yeah and for Phil, there’s a bit of wood and leather, with earthy tones of chocolate and spice. Haha
Chinese Hawthorne is sold more often as Haw Flakes; a cheap candy. It was once marketed as a sweetened quick energy supplement. An alternative to ginseng. This was back in the day before energy drinks were mass produced. As I recall, it tasted much like a mixed fruit roll-up snack. Old school guys like me know what I’m talking about. You youngsters might not; so ask your older siblings or someone who has been through puberty already.
I think Haw Flakes are still sold someplace but it’s probably rare in most civilized places these days. The local adult bookstores used to sell them in small snack sized portions on the counter, 3 for $1. Guys would buy handfuls of them before locking themselves in the arcade booths for 5 minutes.
I bet you’re raising an eyebrow wondering how I know that…right? Well it’s because I used to work at a porn shop many years ago, which means I probably saw your dad when he was on his lunch break.
EFFECTS 2.0:
I am feeling a super surge of energy right now. Well, at least in my mind anyway. My body is tingly and even though I am thinking of doing all kinds of crazy flips and jumps and making Kung Fu fighting sounds, I can only sit here watching my friends play Mortal Kombat and reactively mutter in a lazy voice, “Yeah duuuuude! That move was hella’ bommmb!”
One of my friends offers the controller to me but I’m afraid of looking like an idiot trying to play so I sheepishly decline. He insists that I try so I take the controller and after a few practice matches, I become completely hypnotized by the action on the TV. I spend the next few hours playing a game that under normal circumstances, I really fucking hate.
DENOUMENT:
Someone ordered a delivery of several pizzas and soda when I wasn’t paying attention. I must end this review now. Please excuse me as I am about to consume 5 times my current body weight in food. I strongly recommend White Buffalo to all stoners and anyone who is feeling bored, all around the world and beyond.
From leafly.com….
Left to right….Sativa, Indica, and Hybrid:
The following charts are from leafly.com for White Buffalo:
From Green Doctor Network:
Cannabis Sativa:
“Sativa strain types are known to produce an uplifting and cerebral high that is typically very energizing and stimulating. Sativa are known to make you laugh uncontrollably or engage in in-depth conversations about the meaning of life. These strains typically cause you to analyze the human experience and think creatively, which makes Cannabis Sativa very popular among philosophers, artists and musicians. Some Sativa have even been found to enhance lights and sounds, making music, movies, and the rest of your surroundings more vibrant than ever before.”
Cannabis Indica:
“The effects produced by Indica strain types are very relaxing and narcotic-like, typically providing a full-body, or “couch-locked” effect. Indica are perfect for those days spent curled up on the couch watching TV, or surfing the web. However, most people use Cannabis Indica after a long day at work to relieve stress, provide full-body pain relief, and help them fall asleep at night.
“Indica strains are ideal for chronic pain, muscle spasms, anxiety, nausea, appetite stimulation, and sleep deprivation. Individuals who suffer from diseases like multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, lupus, sleep apnea and insomnia tend to benefit from the effects of Cannabis Indica.”
Hybrids:
“There are a wide range of cannabis strains in between Indica and Sativa. These strains are known as “Hybrids” and show traits directly related to the genetics in its lineage. Hybrids can be broken down into three basic categories:
1). “Sativa-dominant Hybrids: Cerebral high with a relaxing body effect. Provides physical and mental relief.
2). “Even Hybrids (50/50): Ideal strains for people seeking a perfect balance of head and body.
3). “Indica-dominant Hybrids: These strains provide a full-body pain relief, with a relaxing head high. Recommended for night time use to go to sleep, or daytime relief from minor pain. These strains are perfect for patients who suffer from all types of autoimmune diseases as well as insomnia or depression.”
THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION TO CONSUME ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. I am simply trying to educate and shine the light on the medical uses for marijuana. The relatively new acceptance has become normalized as opposed to strictly counter culture indulgence. We currently have 29 states that allow legal weed dispensaries in the United States. There is a lot of enlightenment in not only those states…but the other 21 who make it a misdemeanor to a felony for possession. If you choose to use medical marijuana, please do all the research you can before deciding on what is best for you. I do believe there are more cannabis review sites than cigar review sites.
Remember…Never smoke cannabis and drive. It is illegal the same as driving drunk in the law’s eyes. Not to mention how dangerous it is. Even if you are only driving 5mph because the cannabis has made you paranoid. So please indulge responsibly.
“The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers:”
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
Cigar Reviews by Phil 'Katman' Kohn 
Great change of pace, while still preserving the std (not you, Katman) cigar review terms (“for Phil…”). I’d never trust myself to make a distinction among cannabis tastes other than “does/doesn’t taste foul,” so good for Calvin!
Also quite a difference from the stuff I bought at 21, almost 26% THC where we used to get 8-10%….
I’d add as a personal note that for pain relief (my daily portion after a pair of crippling diverticulitis surgeries), indica or indica-dominant strains are by far the best way to go.
I’m so glad you’ve found some relief with Cannabis, Phil. Having gone through hell as a result of opiate addiction, anything that can decrease reliance on those drugs is so welcome. Personally, I gave up on weed along with everything else. Really, I had gotten to the point where I only enjoyed it while drinking anyway. It made me very anxious and self-conscious on its own. But obviously, it is helpful and enjoyable to many people, and I am glad the legal status is changing. There are probably many people who would benefit from cannabis who have been unwilling to try it while prohibited.