Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Brazilian Arapiraca Castaño
Filler: Dominican, Nicaraguan
Size: 5 x 52 Robusto (Box Pressed)
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $7.25

Today we take a look at the Guaimaro Robusto.

BACKGROUND:
Released: November, 2016
Regular Production
From Halfwheel.com:
“Esteban Disla might be the most famous cigar factory manager.

“It’s called Guáimaro, a name that has its origins—like so many other things in the cigar world—in Cuba. Disla’s mother worked for Serigo Cuevas in the Dominican Republic at the Tabacalera Cuevas & Hermanos factory. He and his brother, Raul—who is the factory manager at NACSA—worked as young kids and later adults for Cuevas. In 1997, they moved with Cuevas to Nicaragua to the Nica Habano factory. Disla would then become the chief of production at Latin Cigars S.A., the factory that produced CAO and Toraño cigars and is now known as STG Estelí.”

SIZES AND PRICING (MSRP):
Robusto: 5 x 52 $7.25
Corona: 5.5 x 46 $7.75
Torpedo: 6 x 54 SRP $8.75

DESCRIPTION:
This is a very rustic, rusty colored stick. Seams are shouting out Stare at me! Veinage runs amok making it look nearly phony. The box press is solid. The stick is jam packed with tobacco…but I can’t feel any plugs. I smoked one of the three I have in my possession about a month ago and thought this might be a winner; then threw it back in my humidor for another month…total of around 3 months. The triple cap is a little funky in appearance but still done nicely. And the cigar band is simple to the point that at first look, I thought it to be a bundle cigar.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW POINTS:
From the shaft, I can smell root beer, red pepper, musk, roasted almonds, chocolate, malt, cedar, and dried apricot.

From the clipped cap and the foot, I can smell strong chocolate and black pepper, a variety of malt, cedar, root beer, dried apricot, nuts, coffee flavored taffy, and very creamy.

The cold draw presents flavors of black pepper, root beer, dried fruit, nuts, cocoa, coffee, cedar, and creaminess.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is perfect. A slight touch of resistance but clear as a bell. This is where I say I didn’t need my miracle tool…my PerfecDraw cigar poker. I had to use it twice yesterday during the day kicking back and binge watching some show on Netflix. Both sticks were beyond redemption. I’d have had to toss the cigar if not for the cigar poker.

I repeat myself under stress…I repeat myself under stress…I repeat myself…here’s the point. I have zero luck with the burn on box pressed cigars. I’m fucking cursed. I can count on one hand the brands that have made a box pressed cigar so perfect that I had nary a problem. The others? Fuck me.

The Guaimaro Robusto comes out swinging. A little dance work going on but a solid start. Strength is a touch over medium. Flavors emerge immediately: Black pepper, a shit load of malts, creamy, coffee, cocoa, cedar, salted nuts, and dried fruit.
All righty then…

The foot is pumping out smoke like the time I saw smoke coming out my wife’s ears when I told her I spent $1300 in one month on cigars. That was over 10 years ago. Now I get in trouble for spending $100 per month. How do you know your wife loves you unless she rips you a new one now and then?
The burn is perfect.

An inch in, the flavor explosion occurs. Wow. How much is this cigar? $7. Ha. If I had blind taste tested this cigar, I’d have no compunction to assume this is a $10-$15 blend.

Complexity smashes through the Berlin Wall and crushes its opponents in just moments. The finish is very decadent as it seems to go on forever. I’m fucking digging this cigar…like a pony.

Oh man…this is the giant nachos plate of cigar blends: Creamy, chocolate, malts galore, nuts of all varieties, caramel, cedar, espresso, citrus, red hot cinnamon, and a gorgeous floral element that permeates the air as well as my palate.

There is an ongoing generic sweetness that adds some real kick and pizazz to this blend.
This cigar is available at your fave online cigar stores that sell boutique brands. Not to be missed.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
Strength is medium/full.

The caramel comes to the surface to supplant the first three influences of pepper, coffee, and chocolate.
If I were a rich man, I’d definitely buy a box. I had to stop and check Google for the online stores that carry this wonderful blend: JR, Atlantic, Cigar Hustler, and many others as well.
In looking for this blend’s availability, I discover I’m the last reviewer on the planet to have a crack at this 18 months on the market cigar.
The blend reminds of several manufacturers who impress me: Ezra Zion, Crowned Heads’ Las Calaveras, Viaje Cache, and the good AJ stuff.

Deep Purple is playing. I know I’ve told this story a million times but here it is again…We were supporting the guys for a few gigs in Europe. After the gig…late…we went back to our hotel and jumped into the swimming pool. A guest called the cops to complain that there were a gaggle of naked girls swimming in the hotel’s pool. We got off with being asked for our autographs…except for me, of course.

I’d love to try the corona and Torpedo now.
On my, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy, Miss Clawdy. This blend is killer.

Once again, my hypothesis that a $15 cigar is not twice as good as a $7 stick. In this case, I have trouble reminiscing as to which $15 cigar I reviewed that I love as much as the Guaimaro Robusto.

Esteban Disla is a real mother fucker master blender. And of course, being the part of the design team for Roma Craft doesn’t hurt. But then the Guaimaro Robusto has no similarities to a Roma Craft blend; and I love Roma Craft. This is an animal that stands alone…like the cheese.

This blend is rich and balanced perfectly. Serious cigar making with huge deposits of complexity and transitions gone wild. I’ll be tasting the finish all day long.

Yet while the strength is gaining speed, it remains one of the smoothest cigars I’ve tasted. Not a lick of harshness. Smooth, baby, smooth.

I read in one review that the writer tasted Dijon mustard in the second third. Damn. He was spot on. It’s in the background so as not to fuck up the flavor profile with a vinegary element. But there it is. First for me.

The halfway point arrives at 40 minutes. And I don’t want it to end.

The Oliva Nub was designed, supposedly, to get you to the sweet spot immediately. I’ve smoked my share of Nubs and I’ve never experienced what the PR proclaims.
Now this baby starts off in sweet spot mode and accelerates from there.

Did you ever eat bad food from a lunch truck and then shit your pants while waiting in line at the market with a basket full of food? And then have to drive home sitting in it? Me neither.

This is cigar hits the Classic category as it is one long adventure in cigar smoking. You don’t need no stinkin’ palate to enjoy this cigar.
I do heartily advise that should you purchase some, give them their due in your humidor; naked and 2-3 months should do it.

Strength is full on…get the fuck out of my way; I’ve sharpened my elbows for attack.

Dr. Wally wrote me. He is 71. And he is starting a cover punk band made up of other docs and nurses. They are calling it “You’re Dead If You Have Medicare.” Catchy name.

I have lots of wonderful pen pals that started out as readers. The only thing that pisses me off is most are much better writers than me. I forgive them. (Fuckers).

Did you know that studies show that if you make it to 65, there is nearly a guarantee you will live at least another 12 years. I’ll take it. If I can make it another 10 years, I’ll be a happy man…er…happy dead man. But then I live in Milwaukee so it’s all for the best.
The Guaimaro Robusto makes me a happy man this morning.

OK. I’m all in. I went to Small Batch Cigar and scored a 6 stick sampler (All 3 sizes) for $42.66 with the promo code of DOJO. I must have more of these. Charlotte is going to kick my ass when she finds out what I’ve done. Tell Andrew the katman sent you.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.

Damn. I have to listen to The Police while I write this. Totally out of my control. Charlotte says I’m just a bitter old man. Yeah, that’s how I’m hard wired…bitter; but charming.

Flavors haven’t changed an iota. But the maturation of this cigar while you are smoking it is incredible. Another example of the whole is the sum of its parts.
As strong as this blend is, I’m getting only the slightest hints of nicotine.
It’s been one new sweet spot after another.

This is one of my recommendations that I feel strongly enough to order you to go buy some. The price is right. Think of all the garbage catalog cigars you can buy for $7. And then come to the light at the end of the tunnel and make a decision to spend money you don’t have. I do it. There is nothing wrong with eating ramen noodles the last week of the month in order to buy the cigars you want.

Final smoke time is one hour 25 minutes.
Go get ‘em.

RATING: 93

And now for something completely different:

I took this sweet young thing to see a Doors concert at the L.A. Forum in Inglewood, CA. She was something else. I had just bought a brand new 1969 Chevy Impala Custom. It was yellow with a black tonneau roof. I had the dough to trick it out completely.

For some reason, the promoter thought putting Jerry Lee Lewis as the opener was a good idea. Now if he had played his oldies; that would have been a show. But he was in his country phase. A big band all wearing the same country styled suits. And all the audience heard was country music.
He played for an hour and when he finished, he said good-bye. The crowd went nuts because he was done. Lewis mistook this for praise.

He asked the audience if they wanted more? In unison, 25,000 people yelled, “NO!!!”
He was clearly taken aback. And then he leaned into the mic and told everyone to go to hell. As he stomped off the stage, the crowd erupted in applause.

The Doors had a wall of sound. Literally. They had speaker cabinets stacked 20 feet tall. And covered the stage from one end to the other.
The band comes on to thunderous applause.

Throughout the concert, Morrison drinks from a bottle of whiskey. He kept a cardboard box nearby so he could throw up in it. Lovely.
I was lucky to see the band in their heyday.

Move forward to the early 80’s when I was single and hanging in the Hollywood clubs. I was playing in my original band, “The Attitude.”
A buddy that was a big radio DJ and I hung out a lot and was always my wing man when we hit the Sunset Strip clubs.

There was a small one. The name eludes me. The band played upstairs. The Fabulous Thunderbirds was the house band and I saw Jimmy Vaughan a lot.
Upstairs would only sat around 40 people at tables with four chairs.

One night, we sat down at the same table with Ray Manzarek. He was the keyboard player for the Doors.
He had gotten into producing and managing acts. Very down to earth and we saw him every time we went to that club and always sat with him.

I gave him the 45 single of Hound Dog that The Attitude recorded. I got the feeling that his attitude was, “Yeah, sure. Leave your name and number in the ashtray and I will get back to you.”
Regardless of his not caring about my group, we got to hear lots of inside dirt about the Doors. That was priceless.

He was managing the L.A. band “X” at the time. They were the “it” band in L.A. Plus they were a big deal nationwide.

He arranged for my buddy to interview them at their house. The chick singer (Exene Cervenka) and leader (John Doe) of the band lived together. Doe went on to become a movie actor. You’ve seen him dozens of times. He played the asshole bartender in “Road House.” Probably didn’t know it.
We got to their house and they let us in.

It was the biggest pig sty I had ever seen. Unfinished plates of old food were everywhere and it was furnished by the Salvation Army.
After leaving, I was disgusted. I got vomit in my mouth a couple times.

I left something out. That honey I took to the Doors concert? I took her back to my parent’s house. I tried to screw her but she was a virgin.
And then for some reason, I asked her age.
“I’m 15.”
“!!&^$#$%$#(_(&^@@#$!!!!!”
I threw her off the bed and took her home. Her mother called me and told me to stay away from her. No problem lady. I prefer to use my time out of prison wisely.
Had it been another time, she would have had me arrested.

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