Wrapper: Nicaraguan Corojo Shade Grown Maduro (Jalapa)
Binder: Aganorsa, Nicaraguan
Filler: Aganorsa, Nicaraguan
Size: 4.75 x 70 Perfecto “El Loco”
Strength: Full
Price: $10.00 ($1.00-$2.00 less online)

Today we take a look at the JFR Lunatic Loco Perfecto.
Picked up a fiver.

BACKGROUND:
From Cigar Aficionado (6-13-2019):
“First came JFR, then JFR Lunatic, and now JFR Lunatic Loco, an extension of an extension, is set to debut this summer.

“To capitalize on this success, Aganorsa Leaf will debut a new line extension this summer called JFT Lunatic Loco. A Nicaraguan puro, Lunatic Loco only uses tobaccos grown by Aganorsa’s agricultural arm and features a dark, oily Corojo wrapper grown under shade in Jalapa.

“The new line is made up entirely of perfectos and will come in three short, but extremely stout sizes: El Loquito, measuring 4 3/4 inches by 60 ring gauge; El Loco 4 3/4 by 70; and El Gran Loco, 5 1/2 by 80. Lunatic Loco will come packed in 10-count boxes, and ranges in price from $8.70 to $9.99.

“Like all Aganorsa brands, Lunatic Loco is being rolled at the Aganorsa Leaf factory in Nicaragua.”

APPEARANCE:
Definitely an interesting looking cigar. Where to start…The wrapper is a tobacco quilt of colors. It’s oily good, extremely toothy, seams are invisible, the bottom 1” of the cigar is a slightly lighter wrapper that gives the appearance of a 1948 Ford Woody station wagon…while seeing that lighter colored wrapper reappear at the cap.

The big flat pigtail atop the cap is attractive and something we smokers are drawn to like a hooker’s desire to get all the 13-year-old boy’s dough. The foot tapers to a tiny hole the size of dog nipple.

The cigar is jam packed. I smoked one two nights ago and found that this well packed sausage delight was a dream to smoke.
The purple/silver cigar band wraps up the show which is a display of an eye-catching stick.

SMELL THE GLOVE:
First up is a competition between melted caramel and floral notes. Right on their heels are minor aromas of chocolate, malt, cedar, white pepper, espresso, raisins, and creaminess.
The cold draw presents flavors of milk chocolate, green mint, malt, creaminess, black pepper, cedar, and espresso.

FIRST THIRD:
I’m scared.
I smoked my first one two nights ago. The word, ‘Full,’ does not begin to describe the life-threatening forces behind this blend. I smoked it on a full stomach and halfway through had to put it down because my ass was way beyond kicked. The whole time I was enduring having a nuclear plant in my mouth, I thought of how this is going to go on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. Survival is paramount.

JFR says this is their strongest cigar to date. No shit.

If I pass and give up the ghost during this review, I’ve led a mostly good life. I do wish I wasn’t such a bully during my time in Quentin.

The draw is spot on, so I won’t need my PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool for this particular blend.

I like this cigar because from the first puffs, it exudes delicious flavors of peppers, creaminess, raisins, chocolate, malt, and cedar. Good way to start a cigar.

Now there is one deficit at play…I had burn issues with the first stick. Also, trouble keeping it lit. I dry boxed the cigars for nearly 3 days.

Peppers of all denominations kick in the door: Red pepper, black pepper, and jalapeno. My lips burn.

It’s difficult to let this short and fat 70 ring gauge stick hang from one’s mouth. Maybe that’s good…don’t want third degree burns from the peppers.

I’ve had to re-light the cigar three times since I started. Same thing as the first stick.

I’ve never been sure what the attraction is to the cigar size flying pig, flying rat, flying mongoose, and flying Wuhan Bat. The manufacturer gets to charge way too much dough for the difficult rolling, but I’ve never found the flavor profile any better than a less expensive Robusto.

Strength is full. Oy. Only 4-1/2” to go. I’ve picked out an urn.

I have trouble grasping what the experience would be like with the 5.5 x 80 sized stick. You gotta have nuts of steel to get through this baby…either that or stick it away in your humidor for 4 years to mellow out.

A touch of complexity begins the journey. Transitions are nil at this point and the finish is mostly a combo of spicy peppers and cream…with the hint of sweetness from the raisins component I taste.

For some reason, I’m not being affected by the cigar’s strength the way I was decked by the first try.

The profile spreads its wings and each element finds its niche in the pattern the blender intended.
A big hit of savory lands safely…smoked meat, steak sauce, and some mushroom essence that intertwines nicely.

And then a time warp jump…the nature of the cigar’s manifest destiny really kicks in with a wallop. In just a very short time, the cigar has found its balance. There is a deep richness going on along with the start of transitions.

The burn is getting wonky. One time is probably a fluke…twice means it ain’t rolled as nicely as it appears.

On the first stick, I was going into anaphylactic seizures by this time. For some reason, I have become immune to the destructive forces of the Lunatic Loco…instead, I am enjoying the hell out of a great tasting cigar. The flavor profile is simple. No bizarre flavor points…yet. I’ll find them if they are there. And then you will shake your head and think how full of shit I am. It’s OK.

I taste a hint of red wine vinegar. It’s not as disgusting as you might think. With the meat influence, it now tastes like Sauerbraten.

Due to the abbreviated length, I believe I will just do this in halves instead of the legal mandated thirds agreed upon in the International Brotherhood of Cigar Reviewers mission statement. I signed using an alias.

I’m afraid of jinxing it; but I’m handling the man killer strength better than I did with the first self-flagellation.

I remember 15 years ago when the JFR line was an inexpensive choice. We have moved to the big leagues. It now joins the long list of $10 cigars.

My first sip of water and my eyes begin to water. The whale poaching power is in play.

Chocolate, malt, creaminess, and dried fruit dominate. Transitions are picking up steam.
I didn’t mention the spiciness as if I don’t say its name, it might be ignored. Still, I’m beginning to feel like I just did shrooms.

Holy shit. The strength of this little beast has kicked in the door.

This cigar is not for the faint of heart. It will steal the life force from newbies and just leave them a hollow husk on the floor.

For experienced smokers who like strong cigars, this Lunatic Loco will test your manhood.
I’ve reviewed some full-strength cigars but this one decimates their memory. I’m barely at the halfway point and my brain is screaming out for me to join the priesthood and never have sex again…er, wait. I’ve been married 35 years. Never mind.

The cigar would have gotten a higher rating if not for the burn issues that require touch ups too often.
Still, this is a mighty delicious blend. But a little strong for my old man brain.

SECOND HALF:
I don’t believe extended humidor time will lessen the punch of this blend.
Nicotine has been replaced by Radium. I can feel my testes evaporating.

I don’t work today so I can spend it in a drug induced coma.

The flavors are top notch. A high premium blend…that takes no prisoners.
BTW- I spent only $8 per stick in the fiver I bought.

A smoky bacon touch enters and leaves a mark.
The balance is spot on. Savory v. Sweet is on point.

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall as the designers of this blend had their comrades try it in front of them. I wonder how many were actually able to finish this cigar.

90% of cigar customers always ask for something mild or even medium strength. But every once in a while, a smoker will ask for something that kicks their arse. We cut our palms and shake like blood brothers…wearing a mask of course.

Re-light.

Pink Floyd is playing “Shine On You Crazy Diamond.” Very appropriate.

When you were a teen and living at home, did you ever get up before everyone else and hit the kitchen to make some cereal…and then discover your schmekel is hanging out of your boxers and you slam the utensil drawer on it?
Me neither.
There is no one alive to discount my story or to describe the animalistic screams that were emitted from my giant maw.
So, dear readers, just say no to letting your wienermobile run free.

Back to the nuclear fallout…
I have managed to save 50% of my brain. But it is becoming increasingly difficult to type.
Here is what happens…I take a hit and get an onslaught of complexity and flavor…then, after putting the cigar down, off on a magical mystery tour of hallucinations and loss of feel.

Remember when I said I was scared? I have no idea how I’m going to finish this cigar.
I doubt that very many of you will purchase this cigar based upon my description.

This cigar will glue you to your chair and paralyze you. On the upside, it tastes great.
5.5 x 80? It will take an Avenger to smoke that baby. Mortals will not survive.
I’ve got 1-1/2” to go. It seems like a lifetime.

My 3-year-old grandson walked into the room. This seems like the perfect place to stop.
The rating would have been higher if not for the construction issues.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

I discovered that Curved Air has a book coming out on its history during the 1970’s. The band is celebrating its 50-year anniversary in 2020.

But here is the thing. The band was active 1970-1972. They then disbanded because they hated each other’s guts.

In 1974, the original members rejoined for a one-off tour to complete a record obligation with Decca Records. This is when I joined the band. As did drummer, Stewart Copeland.

Then, in 1977, they disbanded again. The only years the book can cover is 5 years of the 70’s. Uh-oh.

The writer never contacted me. I don’t know how much, if at all, the band members contributed to this book.
The band knows all about my raw stories I’ve written here.

I await to see how I am portrayed. I also worry that one or more of my stories will be used or paraphrased.
I could end up being the goat in this account of the band.

But then the book doesn’t come out til Nov. 27. I got in on the pre-sale on Amazon.
I will report on this account of the band in December.

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar review, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, JFR Lunatic Loco Perfecto | Cigar Reviews by the Katman