Size: 6 x 46 Box pressed
My cigars have been living on chaise lounges in all their nakedness in my Spring Break humidor for two months.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
If the cigar band were any simpler, it would be a generic condom. That’s all I can afford as I don’t want Charlotte to get pregnant.
A stout fully packed stick. Airflow is close to non-existent. I grab my PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool and hack away at the cigar like Tony Perkins in “Psycho.” https://theperfecsmoke.com/
The cigar wrapper reeks of dark chocolate and baking spices.
Nice start. Blast of spicy black pepper followed by notes of bittersweet cocoa, a mellow creaminess, black licorice, cedar, hoppy malt, saltwater taffy, and buttery croissants.
Complexity opens its raincoat and exposes itself as a self-starter.
My old laptop took a dump on me a month ago. It was a total loss. I bought a new laptop and the sonovabitch has Windows 11 software. I spent days swearing at the fucker…but it has gotten much easier to navigate the more I smacked it with a ball peen hammer.
This cigar is going to knock me unconscious in the last third. The strength is a potent medium/full half an inch in. Pray for me.
The stick tastes like a Snickers bar. I taste peanuts. And caramel.
But it also has a big malty influence so along with the chocolate, it’s like being a kid at the movie theater with a big box of Whoppers. I normally vomited my toes out when I got home, and all that crap settled.
The burn is oh so slow. This is going to be a two hour journey while testing my failing manhood of being able to smoke full tilt cigars first thing in the morning with nothing in my stomach. I led a good life.
There is a substantial hint that this cigar will not be linear in nature. Its complexity is on the rise with each puff. Although, I feel the black pepper needs to calm the fuck down.
If you’re a girly man, this cigar ain’t for you.
It takes 15 minutes to burn one inch. My IBM 2mb computer analyzes this and tells me the exercise will last 90 minutes. But that’s only if I huff away on it the way I used to sniff glue when I was in my 60’s. So, two hours seems to be a more reliable estimate. I have to account for the swirl and walking it off.
Depth is noticed. Smoothness kicks in. The spiciness relents and sits at the back of the bus…waiting to attack at my most vulnerable moments.
It’s a box press and the char line is dead nuts.
The smoothness takes over…it slides over smooth ice…before it slips and breaks its foot. (Sorry. Bad pun).
At 1-1/2” burned, strength hits full tilt. My swirl is on.
I shove my face in a bowl of ice water and my heart nearly stops.
What music have I chose you ask? Amazon Music. “Feel Good Classic Soul.” I loved this music in the 60’s. I also loved Jack Bruce on the bass. He is responsible for me switching from a Hofner Violin bass guitar to a Gibson EBO bass guitar. The Humbucker pickups sounded like thunder. I tweaked the bass by adding a pair of Fender Precision bass pickups so I could mix the sound. I used it to record with Curved Air.
Creaminess surges adding to the profile of the ice gliding smoothness. Chocolate is the ring master and whips other flavor notes into opening their mouths on command.
The full tilt strength mellows out some and the swirl disappears.
The blend is ever changing. Keeps my interest level at high alert.
The char line continues to stay on point.
It’s a lovely 34° outside so I can sit in my skivvies and write this review.
A hearty blend. An excellent bourbon would be my choice for evening accompaniment.
The $11 price tag is more than fair considering the current price points of new boutique cigars. Small Batch Cigar has them. My katman promo code of 10% off brings the price down to $9.80…even better. I wouldn’t mind having a 10-count box but a fiver is a good place to start to see if you like this cigar…and why wouldn’t you?
All the corners of the cigar’s character are smoothed out and while the cigar is a strong blend, I’m able to cowboy up and really enjoy the movement of the complexities as it inches toward the end.
I’m like you. I’ve tried the sticks that are inexpensive and sound delicious that are in the $4-$5 range. It is rare that I enjoy them the way I enjoy a real premium blend. So go-to cigars are either daily specials, or in the $8-$10 range. Luckily, I only smoke 2-4 cigars per day.
My neurologist team told me to stop smoking cigars. Ha. I’m going out with a Groucho Marx smirk on my face.
The flavor profile is contained to chocolate, malt, peanuts, caramel, black licorice, and loads of creaminess. Baking spices dart in and out.
The black pepper remains a constant but knows it better hide itself as a pinch hitter.
I hit the halfway point at exactly one hour. I like Corona Gordas because the flavors seem to have a nice intensity. And they usually are one-hour smokes, or less. But sometimes, you just want that two hour experience to relax. I don’t know if its my age or what…but smoking a cigar relaxes me like no drug can. Except for dropping acid…a very relaxing drug. You know I’m lying. I had a doc ask me if I had a lot of acid flashbacks. He was a Millennial who never touched illegal drugs. I asked him to repeat the question.
I can’t get the bloody cigar band removed. I laser cut it.
This is a delightful cigar. Muy strength and all. The big sweet spot enters the picture and flavors come out of a Wuhan lab and embrace me with extreme prejudice. Nice.
I’d rather just be smoking this cigar than writing about it. I’m in love.
The finish appears in extra large format. All those flavor points flood my mouth and palate with goodies akin to opening an Easter basket on Passover.
In 2019, I was armed security for a synagogue here in Milwaukee. Mass shootings were at an all-time high. My son in law gave me his tactical vest. I tried it on the other day and I went straight to the floor from the weight. I was in better shape at 69.
The star of the show is the second half. The depth and complexity are screaming laughter. A sea of swarming simbas do the Macarena in my shrinking brain. Damn.
Two months of humi time is plenty. But if you allow another few months of rest, this cigar is going to explode from the start.
Man, this $11 stick is better than much more expensive cigars I’ve reviewed. Sail on Sailor.
Curtis Mayfield. “Move on Up.” The extended version is a killer.
I picked up a new bass guitar student the other day. He was my Lyft driver. A 62-year-old Black man and we connected immediately over our taste in music. He just started playing bass recently. This will be fun and liberating. Not to mention, I will have someone to talk to that can remember the same shit as I do.
The cigar’s slow roll is causing excessive rambling on my part…my apologies.
The full tilt strength is totally manageable. Smooooth.
I will take a break from boring you and just move away from the keyboard and enjoy the cigar.
BTW- This is my first stab at a Valacari blend.
OK. I’ll shut up.
Just another useless thing…James Brown. “I Got You (I Feel Good). Played that song in every blues band I was in.
I finish the cigar. No harshness or heat.
Smooth to the end.
Love this cigar.
Use promo code katman for 10% off at Small Batch Cigar.
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
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