Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 4.5 x 56
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $9.80
My cigars received 5 months of naked humidor time.
Released October 2023.
Cigars Released: 600 Boxes of 50 Cigars
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
I spent a minute on Grindr for gay chat yesterday. I met every guy I Zoomed with. And a marmot named June.
Cheap Ass Cigar Monday…I know. Not really cheap. Wanna buy an El Septimo for $100…jet ahead to 2034 when this is the everyday price for a cigar.
A beautiful oily cigar. But a cigar with a plug the size of Dr Rod’s wallet. I sputter into it, giving it the breath of life. Nope. My PerfecDraw removes detritus with just one easy swipe that requires one sixteenth the strength it takes to fiddle with my fly once I get the three second warning I need to pee. Yep. I’m going to take a class in creative writing at Lac Courte Oreilles Ojibwa Community College because my shit is seriously deteriorating.
Where would we be without music. We’d be banging on our knees, and no one would be telling us we missed a beat on 3.
Nice start. Rich and fulfilling like my days wandering the docks of Long Beach Harbor straining my eyes for drunken sailors.
You gotta give HVC cigars their time in your humidor before first bonfire. There is a serious lack of aging done by the company…unless you want to spend $22 on a cigar.
I’m seriously thinking of no longer reviewing any cigar with these leaf stats. I am tired of the Mexican and Nic blends. They all taste the same. And Nic puros aren’t any better. Padron nails it but the last few years have treated us to more sophisticated smokes. We are being trained like seals to appreciate the ‘better.’ I like it. AJ better get on board, or he’ll find himself in the corner being flogged by religious zealots.
Strength begins at medium with hints it will go Beluga soon.
I’m tired, said this grumpy old man, of reading reviews complaining in every bit of their 15,000 words that the cigar is plugged. Or that it doesn’t burn well. I mean…really?
The flavors are ready: Bitter espresso, black pepper, tart lemon, some dark chocolate, and salted nuts. I swear that this is how every Mexican/Nic blend begins. With not a single sweet aspect.
The richness I tasted is flattening out. Hard to review a cigar after a few Padrons. Not much stands out after that.
This is an ordinary cigar. It either needs years of aging or it is a replicant of a million other cigars on the market. Damn.
The burn is doing OK. Nice smoke output.
Time out hoping the cigar improves and tap dances its way into my heart.
The cigar is Amazon Basic. I’m going to Yasgur’s farm.
How fleeting is it to dole out flavors like I’m discovering something new? I’m not. It bores me too.
I could be smoking an AJ, BLTC, Caldwell, Room 101, Illusione, or Crowned Heads. I’d never be able to pull it out of my ass if blind tasting.
This is Cigar Generic.
The 6 Country Songs Every Real Cowboy Should Know:
“Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie…Cause I ain’t Dead Yet” by Bill Monroe and Sonny Liston
“Happy Trails” by Roy Rogers and Trigger
“Go Get an Axe…There’s a Flea in Jenny’s Ear” by Johnny Cash and Flea
“Back in the Saddle Again After Prostate Surgery” by Roy Rogers and Nellybelle
“I Want to Be a Cowboy’s Sheep Pussy” by Patsy Montana
“Fairies Wear Boots” by Stark Naked and the Car Thieves
And of course, the construction is excellent and as such, causation is now a slow roll of extreme punishment.
Flavors do not morph. Strict adherence to savory only. Where’s the bridge?
It doesn’t even qualify as a ball of confusion. Straight ahead boor ass.
Adjectives are easy. Content is hard.
Five years ago, this would have been a $4 stick. And I would have sold it to the throngs of idiots I served at the cigar lounge where I worked.
I wish I hadn’t given up cocaine.
I am reminded of a well reputed mob site that aims at the most common denominator by reviewing catalog cigars like they’re going out of style…they’re not. Do you feel sorry for these poor schnooks who don’t know what you glorious snobs know? We are the few.
I dropped the cigar on my bare leg. It can run, but it can’t hide. Where is a magician when you need one.
Hay, burnt umber, black pepper, burnt embers, flock of foreskins (loved that band), singed caramel, coarse sawdust, old cellar, and mushrooms fried in MTG facial makeup. Now I’m having fun.
Just scroll.
I loved the following HVC blends: 520 Rare of Rares…shit, that was all I could find. This will be the last Reinier Lorenzo blend I review. The man claims his cigars are all up in the style of Cuban cigars. Not this century, my man. Maybe 1960.
With 2” to go, I throw in the towel. What a waste of time. I’m sorry. I apologize. I promise to do better next time.
I gotta quickly light up a good cigar to get this taste out of my mouth.
Carry on…
RATING: 75
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
Cigar Reviews by the Katman 
As a one time Sailor who was actually wandering around drunk on the piers in Long Beach, we loved talking to you Phil. Always a nice visit. Be well. Keep up the good work.
I rate your comment 96.