Wrapper: Undisclosed
Binder: Undisclosed
Filler: Undisclosed
Size: 6 x 46 Corona Gorda
Strength: Medium
Price: $15.00

BACKGROUND:
From Luxury Cigar Club:
“Many of exceptional brands and blends are created with the help of the Kelners at the Kelner Boutique Factory in Santiago, Dominican Republic. Cartes de Amore, translated to Love Letters, is a newer brand from KBF. Started by Ross Moran, a long-time friend of the KBF family, their portfolio is small and precise, with only three blends. El Baile is a 6×46 Corona Gorda with a fully undisclosed blend, but we know it’s packed with only the best tobacco thanks to Kelner’s extensive library. Cartes de Amor focuses on luxurious blends that are delicate and complex, bringing love back to the industry.”

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
First, I have rarely experienced floral concentrations like I do with this cigar. It’s like walking into a florist shop, opening the glass door to the flower display, and lying down. And on top of this tubular bed of flowers are aromas of sweet caramel, vanilla, milk chocolate, and burnt butter.

Second, Hendrik Kelner Jr. is at helm of the production. Using only his finest tobaccos that shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.

Third, the cigars arrive without being encased in cellophane. No idea how much naked time they received before, or after, going to market.

Fourth, a perfect blow hole. My PerfecDraw remains at parade rest.

And fifth…That’s it. I got nothin’.

An educated guess is this is primarily a Dominican blend. But there is a spiciness out of character from what those leaves deliver. The black pepper presence is surpassed by fiery red pepper.

Slamming into my palate is an avalanche of notes: Sweet miso, sassafras root, strong black tea, blackstrap molasses, mushroom, bitter chocolate, black espresso, red and black pepper, and charred cedar.

For a corona gorda, the cigar is packed like a proud Wisconsin brat. Solid and bulging at the seams.

The strength is billed as medium. I beg to differ. A burning sensation on my outer lips…yes, I have outer lips. Like jet fuel ready for ignition. Moments from now, it will become medium/full. The second half…well, punch me in the groin and call me daddy.

We have come to expect a certain profile from Kelner. Always good. Always excellent. The El Baile is something new. I would be guessing if I said I knew the country derivations. Hints of Nicaragua, DR, Brazil, Peru, Costa Rica, and Ecuador. I have no idea. Totally unique in a brilliant way.

This is a blend that will do very well with extended humidor aging. A beautiful afterlife.

The first time I saw the Mona Lisa was 1965. Only a few people stood in front of the painting. No guards. No protective glass. I could stand directly in front of the portrait…allowing my hot breath to permeate the oil. Art preservation has come a long way in the last 60 years.

Opulent body surges like Norovirus on a cruise ship.

Very slow roll for such a skinny stick.

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We’re not sure. Are we… Black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we’re awake… but we’re very puzzled.

It has taken nearly 20 minutes for an inch to be eradicated by fire. What madness is this.

Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Basically a coterie of cigar industry folks.

Wild flavor points of miso, mushroom, and pepperoni. Only thing missing is mozzarella.

Our tiny brains veer towards familiar things. Creaminess is almost a given. Not so much here. It lurks in the background. It’s wearing a loose raincoat. It wants to join in. And I want to be 50 again.

Floral meanders from cigar to nose…and to palate. Extraordinary. Dark honey goes Bozo Crazy. Schmeared on buttered and toasted rye. Can I get some corned beef.
Transitions don’t know when to stop. Every half inch is a surprise. Complex? Hell, yeah. Nuance heaven. Tutti Frutti oh Rutti.

The second half relieves all doubts. The circus is in town. I grab the crash helmet my mother made me wear at Hebrew school.

The blend has tiny toes that happy dance. A burst of kinetic energy that throws its arms to heaven and declares: ‘My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.’
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Oh Happy Day. There is strength in numbers. When He washed my sins away.

An old friend plays drums each time Mavis Staples hits the road. I can’t even imagine. Oh Happy Day.

Subtle but extravagant. A dichotomy but if you were sitting next to me puffing away, you would still be confused…I write in my underwear.

Shecky Greene lived next to my dad. Porpoises of snot would fly around the dinner table from laughter.

Mongo only pawn… in game of life.

You don’t need a palate that can dissect flavors to know a good cigar when you smoke one. If someone asks if you’re having fun, you say yes or no. You don’t need no stinkin’ reviewer to tell you nothin’.

The second half saw a cacophony of elements. Twirling Nebraska spinners. Potency of spirit. Depth of character. And blatant professional prowess.

You’re not going to find a better $15 smoke. Light one up on receipt. And then save the rest for as long as your prairie shit brain will muster. I get no credit for inventing the Candy Gram.

You can purchase these cigars from sponsor Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’).

RATING: 98

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: Cartas de Amor Cigars ‘El Baile’ | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, hendrik kelner, katman, phil kohn