Wrapper: Cuban
Binder: Cuban
Filler: Cuban
Size: 5.1 x 50 Robusto
Strength: Full
Price: $31.00
Charlie slipped these cigars to me while visiting a Korean massage parlor where I have a 5% interest. Mr. Schink doth know that my lisp thucktheeds in garnering conthideration at the thpa. Thith thigar better be good.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
The Partagás Maduro was first released in 2015. It is a tribute to the fine soldiers that participated in the Bay of Pigs Invasion in 1962. And who were slaughtered by the Brazilian Navy on their way to defend the monarchy of Boris Badenov.
Rated 91 by Cigar Aficionado. In Katmanland, that’s 1 Quattuordecillion.
The wrapper smells cool daddy-o with chocolate barnyard, light floral notes, prune broth, and Keith Moon’s breath.
The stick is plugged like yours truly after a 30-day run on opioids. My just say no to drugs friend, Mr. PerfecDraw, comes to my aid. I dredge up the remnants of the Titanic and still no blow hole. I go after it from the other end…something I learned in trade school. This doesn’t work either. I get serious and use a #5 piece of chipped rebar. I get enough debris into the ashtray to make a floating wicker basket for the baby Moses.
The misshapen orifice defies gravity with notations of spicy peppermint, barnyard, orange creamsicles, black pepper, nuts galore, and semolina pilchard from a dead dog’s eye.
I use my horribly overpriced S.T. Dupont lighter to get things going. I’ve already wasted 287 words. Check that…291…wait
Creamy start. I hope this Cuban bonanza, minus Little Joe, can maintain its erection.
As always, the construction on Habano MacGyvers is usually off kilter. And yet, they have a mystique brought on by the Cold War and a crazy amount of 1957 Chevy parts.
The burn is in fakakta mode. My previous sticks had the same issues. This is a poorly rolled cigar. And the good part is it prices out for you Yanqui bastards at $31.00.
The flavors are cool but not very complex. Experience has taught me to pay attention to the clues. This one screams Sucker. Cuba just isn’t very good with Maduro wrappers.
Typically, Cubanos takes years to tell the tale. I have friends who have hung on to their prize horses for 20 years and are still waiting.
The creaminess is akin to a nicely aged Ecuadorian Connie. Smooth…and maybe a touch elegant. Strength is an easy going medium. But the stats say jump back and eyes wide shut. I got nothing in my stomach except for too much coffee. I will be reporting the second half of this cigar from my favorite cat-o-nine tails purveyor HMS Jolly-Shoulda’-Ate-Sumpin’.
Transitionally, it ain’t going nowhere. It’s just OK. For $31, I want a waffle and a lap dance.
If you seek out reviews, this cigar doesn’t get the thumbs up one expects from an esteemed brand from Cuba. It underwhelms most.
These are the flavors I found from online reviews: orange peel, hazelnut and salty leather on the palate. A big note of cocoa powder builds to the spicy, leathery finish, raisins, brioche, herbs, caramel, fresh black grapes, toast, and peanuts. It’s nice when you can depend on the always impartial Cigar Aficionado.
I’m waiting. Most critique chappiess say that this blend would probably do better with extended humidor time. Is this high hopes because they shoved a few hundred bucks into the Communist cash register or because their friend Jacobo said they were a smooth deal.
I need to throw something at the wall. Curved Air always started their British and European tours in London. Our manager, Miles Copeland, always blessed us with his appearance. He was an imposing figure. He was drummer Stewart’s older brother. Stewart and I came up with a plan to pummel the man with cream pies in the dressing room after the gig. We spent days planning. And then it was show time. We grabbed the missiles. And as we were just two feet from Miles, he stared at us with his Star Wars look of imperviousness. And we chickened out. To be honest, for me it was because Miles wore a very expensive leather jacket. For Stew, it was sheer fear as Miles regularly beat the shit out of him with a rubber truncheon.
There is subtle richness. The second half approaches. I have been tempted to cut off relations and wave my hands in the air. But since the International Elevator Constructors Union IUEC Local #32 requires 80% completion, I marshal on.
The second half lowers the boom on strength. Jeezus Alou and Manny Mota.
I get to 80% which is 4.08” and call it quits.
If you like verklempt shpilkes, this is the cigar for you.
RATING: 86
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
Well, damn – I just bought 5 of those sticks. I think I’ll give them a bit of humidor time before I fire one up.
P.S. – You should’a thrown those damn pies.
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I know, I know.
I was only 25. Living in a strange land. Not knowing if giving Miles Copeland a serious splash of whipped cream could end my tenure with the band…it was a moment in time. Turns out I was correct in chickening out. Copeland was a real sonovabitch as I learned in my later days with Curved Air. I really didn’t want to ruin his leather jacket. Never took that into account during the covert planning period. Younger days…
Thanks for your comment.
Phil
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I bought one of these when I was in Cuba a couple of weeks ago – $8. Pretty much all of the Cohibas, Partegas, etc. were less than $10 from a legitimate source. Too bad we aren’t allowed to bring back 50 like we were a few years ago.
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Maybe in 25 years, there will be enough change of heart in both the Cuban government and the U.S. government to normalize relations.
Phil
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Hey Katman how you doing
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Romeo old friend. Wonderful to know you weren’t eaten by bears.
I will email you.
Phil
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