Katman Note: I’m recuperating from a procedure so no cigar smoking for Philodendron for a bit. It’s only been three days and I’ve got the honky tonk blues jonesing for a cigar. On Day 5, I expect I will don my papal gear and bless newborns at the nearby Church of the GoodHousekeeping.

Juan Lopez Selection #2
Wrapper: Cuban
Binder: Cuban
Filler: Cuban
Size: 4.9 x 50 Robusto
Strength: Medium
Price: $20.00
Box Date: April 23, 2020

THE WHOLE ENCHILADA:
I’ve always wondered what our “sniffing the cigar” ritual is. Whether it smells like barnyard and muskrat, or springtime at Kew Gardens on a sunny day, you know you’re going to smoke it. Hell yeah. If it smells like durian fruit or grandpa’s olde worlde sauerkraut … you’ll smoke it.

This Juan Lopez Selection Number 2 is reddish brown and has a solid feel. The appearance is “rustic charm”, rough with veins and scratchy as a cat’s tongue. I hit it with my Perfec Punch. The cold draw is perfect. I fire it up.

The first third is rough, raspy, unrefined and full of flavor: cappuccino, orange zest and spice with creamy sweet notes. It’s singing to me right off the bat. This cigar is Janis Joplin: rough around the edges with a clean, powerful delivery. What a pleasure.
Take another little piece of my heart. The first inch is rockin’ it.

The first third continues with chocolate mocha and a hint of peanut shell, the coffee with orange zest sweetness sticks around for a while then fades to cocoa nibs. Cedar joins the party then fades back to cocoa nibs.

Jimi Hendrix jamming with Janice now. Unpredictable, untamed yet somehow melodious. Flavors in the first third bounce around and play with my palette. I give up trying to follow. I sit back and enjoy the ride.

In the early 70’s at pharmacy school we used to have poker night up on the third floor. We’d drink cheap beer, smoke nasty dried-out cigars, philosophize and solve world problems. Of course, the biggest world problem in a man’s late teens is how to attract girls. One night while pretending to be suave, I took another puff of my fifty-cent cigar and came up with an idea. “We need to throw a pajama party”. “I know! We’ll procure refrigerator boxes and made a tunnel from the entrance up the stairs to the third floor where we’ll have a band playing and some special “pharmaceutical grade” punch to drink. We’ll pull the mattresses from the rooms to line the tunnel floor all the way up the stairs.”

Well, that didn’t fly. It seems that the pharmacy students were as boring as the cigars. One-eyed Jacks are wild… and apparently don’t go to pharmacy school.

The final third: transitions still flit back and forth like a hummingbird at grandma’s feeder. The burn stays razor sharp.

Flavors take a turn. I’m getting a sour fruit note; that musty Cuban twang that is pleasurable and hard to describe. The je ne sais quoi of flavor that can only be found in tobacco grown on that peculiar little island take over. Yes, please… I’ll have more of that….

Mushrooms and forest floor to finish. Nicotine never makes an appearance.

Half an inch left. Fade to black. The party’s over. It’s time to step over the bodies and go home.

It’s available for $20 – $26 depending on where you look. Yes, it’s worth every penny. Get some now and let them age because the price will only go up.

Kat Scale: 96

Tatuaje 2012 Cojonu Habano
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaragua
Filler: Nicaragua
Strength: Medium-Full
Size: 5.5 × 52 box-pressed
Price: $13.00

This cigar has been aging in my humidor for 7 months.
The Katman reviewed this cigar in 2013 when he was 85.

This is a beautifully constructed cigar packed rock solid. They couldn’t have put another leaf in this roll if they tried.

It’s cut and lit. We’re off and running. Great flavor right out of the gate as slightly
sweet pomegranate syrup quickly takes the lead. Cedar chimes in as pomegranate sweetness lessens. Lovely.

The draw is a little tight but this is good, it slows me down a bit and allows me to savor the ebb and flow of the flavors and marvel at the transitions.

Only half an inch gone and I’m hooked. A slightly sweet espresso shot followed by a tab of dark Belgian chocolate raspberry. I flash back to a sidewalk café in Bruges circa 1975, drinking a perfect espresso. Belgians always serve a little tab of dark chocolate with coffee there. Magic.

The retro is smooth with only a hint of white pepper. My sinuses are left intact.

Leather, cedar and dried cherry appear in a lovely transition. The retro is smooth as glass as the white pepper disappears completely.

Nicotine is starting to raise its ugly head as I enter the 2nd third. This might be a
wobbler. I’m smoking this on an empty stomach. Uh oh.

Transitions are big and bold. Orange creamsicle makes an appearance halfway through the 2nd third.

This cigar is out of control. The burn line needs a touch up, but I leave it as I slump back in my chair. You know a cigar is excellent when your thoughts disappear and all that is left is the curling smoke and flavor molecules dancing on your taste buds.

After I graduated from pharmacy school in 1975 my friend Rick and I took a cheap charter flight to Amsterdam. The flight was full of like-minded, burned graduates who needed a party. Back then smoking was still allowed on flights. I never smoked cigarettes or cigars but I indulged in the illegal weed a bit, so we happy graduates gathered around, sat on the floor and passed around a join or three. The stewardesses, as they were called at the time, thought this was hilarious. They kept bringing us free Heineken. Heavenly. By the time we got to Amsterdam we were wasted. We rolled off the jet and managed to find a dive a back alley somewhere called Hotel Flea. It was cheap. At about 3am we checked in and passed out. A few hours later we found out why the Hotel Flea was so cheap: it was right next to a church with giant bells. The bell ringer started swinging from the ropes at 7am. We sat bolt upright, bleary eyed, dazed and confused. Fuck.
We fell out of bed and stumbled out for espresso and pastries. Once we regained something resembling consciousness, we headed to Dam Square and spent the day drinking Heineken and gawking at the beautiful Dutch women through tired, jet lagged eyes.

The final third of this cigar is ruled by nicotine. I shouldn’t have had that IPA.

I think I will write a scientific paper on the synergistic relationship between one
beer, an empty stomach, and this cigar.
Hypothesis: This combination will fuck you up.
Stage 1 Trial Findings: It does, indeed, fuck you up.
Conclusion: Further studies are needed.

Anyway, this cigar is delicious. Dark Chocolate Orange dominate now, with cedar and leather. The retro is still amazingly smooth.

Listen to Boléro by Maurice Ravel as you smoke this cigar. It starts off with beautifully simple sweet notes and slowly rises in volume with gorgeous, hypnotic transitions. It gets louder and louder and louder. You reach for the volume control; it’s nonfunctional. The music, like this cigar, finally reaches crescendo, bashes you in the face, and runs you down like a freight train.

I’m calling it. There is an inch and a half to go as I blindly grope for the stirrup on
my ashtray to lay it down. I miss the ashtray all together and it drops on the ground. I leave it there to die its natural death.

My glass of soda water is finished, and so am I.

This is a great smoke, but novice smokers need not apply. Eat first.

Katman Shill: You can purchase a large variety of Tatuaje blends from sponsor Small Batch Cigar. Take 10% off with promo code KATMAN.

Kat Scale: 96

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, katman, Katman Rekap ~ 2 Reviews from Charlie Schink (Our Man in Zambia): Juan Lopez Selection #2 & Tatuaje 2012 Cojonu Habano | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, phil kohn