Wrapper: Nicaraguan
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5.25 x 54 Grand Robusto
Strength: Medium
Price: $24.00
Date Released: December 2021
Quantity Released: 22,000 cigars
Factory: Tabacalera Oliva de Nicaragua S.A.
I reviewed this cigar in 2023. I hated it. Lo and behold, every other reviewer loved it. If the critiques were balanced with yays and nays, then I’d chalk it up to personal preferences. But it turns out that I was odd man out. So, time to revisit.
BTW- my cigars have nearly 5 years of box aging. I’m every bit as curious as you. Or maybe you’re not. Are you? Don’t answer that…tap your cloven hoof twice if you agree but fling a boogie at your iPhone screen if you don’t.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Bill Paley, Jr is a nepo baby that branched out into the old family business. His dad invented CBS television. Reading about the young Bill told the story of a Boomer spiraling through the 60’s trying to find purpose like the rest of us. Caught up in the turmoil of civil rights, the Vietnam war, assassinations, and politics run amok. And Nixon setting the standard.
Not every cigar we smoke has to be a Toro. I like the in-between of this 5.25 x 54. It’s just a fatty boy toro.
The cap subverts the middle ground of a fantail meets a pigtail. In Latin, it’s called schleppy tushy.
The wrapper emits a strong odor of aged tobacco. An oxymoron because time will eventually restrict the outpouring of emotion from a cigar. Still, the tobacco notes are pleasing as they mix easily with the customary dark chocolate, freshly brewed espresso, mild barnyard, and butterscotch. The last tidbit is an unexpected treat.
The 8mm punch on my PerfecPunch doles out swift justice to the fantail, leaving a perfect blow hole.
The cold draw continues to bring hefty amounts of sublime aged tobacco. But also, newly baked sourdough bread, dark chocolate, malted milk, and a touch of honey.
Early puffs are flavor laden with earth, sourdough toast, salted caramel, and black grapes. I’ve not looked at my 2023 review so as not to influence me. I pride myself in the ability to look stupid for all to see.
Strength hits the core of medium immediately. And the burn line straightens without much ado.
My eyebrows are in the arched position as I wonder if the 2023 cigar started perfectly and then devolved. Or maybe the 5 years of box aging has done its duty for town and country.
My initial impressions are that this is a manly cigar. I’ve known manly women in my life. I liked them and they liked me. I once taught a gaggle of lesbians how to properly handle a pistol. And not once did I say ‘yes sir’ to any of them. In 1973, I played in an R&B, jazz, funk band. We kept getting gigs at California Women’s Prison at Chino. After our first set, I was kibitzing with a guard and I remarked, “It’s very cool that you allow male prisoners to attend so they can dance with the women.” The guard said that there were no men in attendance. I blinked twice as I stared back into the crowd and realized that most of these chicks could take me out with one punch. The photo below shows how the Manson girls sneaked backstage and were dancing in the wings. The keyboard player and I stared with great fear. Our singer was uber cool. He loved Lou Rawls, so we had to play a bunch of his songs. But when he ventured too close to the edge of the stage, in a frenzy, girls began to grab his ankles. He lost all of his cool as he turned and said, “Save me, help me, oh noooo…”
Vanilla pops up as the deep earthiness continues. My brain signals that an inflamed nodule of hope is in store. The ash is extremely delicate and finds a home in the netherworld of what was a once active penile region. Now, unfortunately, it limps from room to room looking for serenity while extolling its young adventures. Every man speaks to their weenie now and again. It is a captive audience and our closest friend…unless you have Peyronies disease. I never knew this existed until the wallop of tv commercials. We should all thank the cosmic muffin that our dicks are straight and true.
There are acute angles at this point. My preferences lay in softer nuances but it’s early and I’m still fluffernutting the wienermobile back into my thong. It usually finds a resting place somewhere in the morass of polyester and mule byproducts.
From the start, the blend has been very buttery with a light sweetness. Spiciness is very light and it waffles between the varieties of black and white. Ebony and ivory. I remember that this is a $24 stick. You’re going to shit when you see what I paid. Go ahead, scroll…I’ll wait.
The cigar plumps beautifully. The burn is slow. Construction is top notch. I probably had a bad day when I slammed this cigar in 2023. I gave it a goose egg. I don’t think I’ve ever been that mad at a cigar. But I was only 73 at the time and dismayed by the news that the entire WNBA was made up of surgically improved men. I wonder when a doctor gives you a dick, are new pubes included, or is it another $500. And can you ask for a pompadour?
The first third was fun. Something that I hope is a gateway drug to more complexity and depth.
Peanuts. Roasted peanuts. Peanut shells. This is the flavor I could not put my finger on. Now as the second third is roaring, it is clear and present. This is a good cigar. I’m dying to read what I wrote on the first go around but it will taint me and I will feel sorry for myself. It might force me to eat unleavened bread with aged chicken fat schmeared on it. Jewish Boomers grew up with Euro parents slopping that stuff on everything. I would side eye the countertop with the always present water glass full of liquid fat and that layer of artery hardening waxy stuff on top. Sure, I ate gefilte fish as a kid, but watching my mother and father enjoying that crap caused me to run from the room seeking out good humor and news that a burger was on the horizon. Depression era parents carried traditions forward as meals were sparse but good, hearty but light, and seconds required begging and hoping not to get the speech of how hard they had it in the 1930’s.
Strength remains medium at the halfway point. This is a great morning cigar. It’s a nice break from the standard fare of Ecuadorian Connecticut wrapper and Dominican guts. Totally different flavor profile. The next inch or so will dictate if I beat you to the punch and get me some more at a ridiculously reduced price.
I love that this is different from most cigars that I pick for rotation. I love that it’s easy going and doesn’t create a kerfuffle. I still have a couple inches to go but I see now that my 2023 review is a wash. I fucked up. This is an excellent cigar. I also love that it arrives housebroken with 5 years of box aging.
The blend is about strict earthiness. Savory is 70% and Sweet is 30%. While I prefer an even balance, it’s nice to visit the crispy edges of the envelope now and again.
The complexity is full tilt. Nice even transitions. Hearty like mulligan stew on a winter’s eve. With a light fruitiness and a touch of caramel on the finish.
OK. I bought another couple of fivers. I would like to buy a bunch more but there’s a saying, in order to shit, ya gotta eat. It’s a toss-up between cigars and sustenance…coming in at a distant third. And listening to your hungry children cry while you enjoy a Padron.
This blend is the perfect companion piece for the La Aurora Family Creed Fuerte Sol. Both are very smooth with extreme earthiness.
This cigar don’t need no stinkin’ humidor time. It’s ready to go.
Is this the best cigar I’ve ever smoked? Not even close. Is it worth your $24? Yeah. It’s a special occasion cigar. Here’s the thing, special occasions don’t happen in the dewy morning, they belong to the night. Medium strength/full body blends don’t hold up to a day’s worth of foodstuffs in your belly. This is a morning cigar, plain and simple. And that’s why I’m happy to let you know that you don’t have to pay two and a half sawbucks. Keep reading.
Sponsor Cigar Page has them, but they still come in at a hefty $20. I found a deal. A killer deal. Non-sponsor Smoke Inn is selling fivers in their clearance aisle for $49.95. $5 each instead of $24. Go to Smoke Inn. As is always the case, I don’t get a cut of their sales. Just passing it forward.
RATING: 94
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