Wrapper: Connecticut Broadleaf Rosado
Binder: Nicaraguan Jalapa
Filler: Dominican Corojo, Nicaraguan Condega Criollo
Size: 5 x 52 Robusto
Strength: Full
Price: $20.00
Date Released: 2022
Quantity Released: Regular Production
Factory: PDR Cigars, Dominican Republic
My cigars received 4 months of naked humidor time.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
There’s a lot of artwork covering the cigar. Sometimes a manufacturer will drape its baton in a mural that designates it as an executive cigar. Personally, if I’m in a lounge or buying online, I like to see the naked wrapper. Every picture tells a story.
Schnoz approaches wrapper and without putting skin to cigar there is a sweet floral aroma that I don’t associate with a Connie Broadleaf casing. And then baking spices, warm caramel, barnyard, malt, and black raisins.
I don’t know where my PerfecPunch is. I call out, “Olly olly oxen free.” I hear muted snickering and I see its antennae sticking out from behind my bidet. Side note: the antennae are an additional $2.99 and you gotta ask Rod. The damn thing loves the ride and swoosh of upwards facing dog spray from the French tureen. After reaching my 70’s, I found that I enjoy a little water action up my petootis slackus wrinklus as well as the next guy. I use a leather chamois to clean the bastard child of Kurthy and slam it headfirst into the cap, breaking its feelers. I have a psychotherapist on speed dial. AI tells me I’m OK.
The cold draw is dead in the water. No air. Here’s where the double shill comes in. I grab my PerfecDraw and go to work. I’ve had mine for years and I’m always amazed that it never loses its sharpness. I can’t count the times I’ve poked myself with the pointy end and have drawn blood. Rod will provide an OSHA inspector for another $2.99.
This is my third A. Flores Connecticut Valley, and it is the first time I’ve had a draw issue. One swoosh and the detritus, that settled in the location of the cigar band, is removed. The flavors can now be tasted: very spicy green bell pepper, cloves, green tea, and it ends with sweet earthiness. Cigar Aficionado liked this cigar, and I noticed they found walnut shell. Therefore, I taste it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting good suggestions. It helps our corroded brain figure things out. Get all the help you can. Want a leg up? Before you smoke a good cigar, find as many reviews as you can stomach. Create a word doc or just jot on a piece of paper the things that look incisive. Discover what others find and as you smoke, take heed. I do it all the time. The closest reviewer to my palate comes from Unco B’s Stogie Diary.
After my second stick, I reached out to Alex Gougher at Cigar Page. I asked if we could do a special because this cigar is out of the price range for a lot of smokers. Me included. He shook his head yes. I know his head went up and down because of the jingle jangle clamor.
A lovely and immediate sense of well-being from the first puffs. There is warm oakiness, cinnamon, black pepper (back of throat), red pepper (tip of tongue), fresh honeysuckle, vanilla, café au lait, and smoked almonds. Right from the get-go, the cigar begins to deliver. No waiting an inch for it to decide what it wants to do.
The best a guest in England could get was a 6-month visa. I’d have to leave the country and come back for a fresh one, which was easy as Curved Air was always on tour. But then the British government put a cork in things. They approached the band’s manager about my work permit. You had to prove to the Brits that what you did could not be orchestrated by a native born. Miles Copeland sat me down in his office and we brainstormed. He didn’t care for some of my smart-ass suggestions but that’s never stopped me when faced with authority. Copeland couldn’t help but fuck with me when the news came. He summoned me to the London office. When I asked why, he only said it was important. In person, he was overly dramatic and told me the government fired me. I was distraught. After giving me the proper amount of time to chafe, he told me I was approved. I had been with the band nearly a year. And then a couple months later, Curved Air fired me. Timing.
Cigar Aficionado calls this cigar at medium strength. Everyone else says full tilt. This is an after-dinner smoke, not a morning cigar. I made the wrong choice of buying the Robusto (I later revise this comment as the perfectly constructed Robusto is a 90-minute smoke). I like a big cigar after supper. I should have gotten either the Gran Toro (6 x 54) or the Churchill (7 x 50). Sometimes, a Churchill goes down extremely well after a kosher meal of baby back pork ribs and pig kidneys goulash.
I’ve written 3200 words and I’ve only desecrated the first half inch. I administer some street purchased fentanyl and reassess. I’ve tried dictating to Word but everything I write ends up as Psalm 82. “God presides in the great assembly; he renders judgment among the ‘gods.’ How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?” I interpret this as dressing up two of your three ferrets as Democratic and Republican presidential candidates and make them explain the meaning of birthright citizenship as it pertains to Canadians.
Few of you will remember this. The Bicentennial in 1976 was a huge deal. Obviously, there was no internet or social media. There was tv, newspapers, and magazines. It was a much bigger deal 50 years ago than the 250th is now. We have become so indoctrinated with information technology that this country’s anniversary is diminished. I remember a huge buildup of excitement. It’s all that everyone could talk about. Now, it is merely a weekend of celebration with fireworks and Mr. and Mrs. Swift’s wedding vows being the central theme. In 1976, this country was licking its wounds from Vietnam and the Nixon debacle. Politics was just as nasty then as it is now…except for the memes. But we were solidified as Americans without the deep division. We disagreed with each other but coexisted with ease. Discussing the issues of the day was a battle royale but never interfered with our relationships. Now, people extricate others from our lives because we don’t agree with their politics. Truthfully, the best friends over my lifetime were the complete opposite of me. It seems it might take a generation or two to regain that simple sensibility.
The strength is potent but not a life killer. The blend is so smooth that I barely notice my testicles no longer residing in the correct place. I use a magnetometer and find them in my left sock.
The char line is sharp. The burn is slow. Flavors seem to have canonized in the first half inch. Now, they just spread like Jiff on my palate. Something I found that’s missing in other reviews is reporting that the flavor profile is creamy. It’s milky and sweet with opposing factors of walnuts, malt, café au lait, and buttered popcorn. This is a great cigar, and the first half is giving me a corpulent 3” boner.
In concert with wandering testicles, the first time I jumped out of an airplane, I didn’t wear a cup. One of the straps that wrapped around my thigh captured my nutsack. I worried as I hunched over on my knees in preparation for the waddle procedure to the open door of the tiny Cessna. And sure as shit, the moment the chute opened and stopped my 125mph fall, the sudden ball peen hammer effect shot my balls into my mouth. As I floated towards earth, there were tears of joy and pain. Upon reaching terra firma, there were slaps on the back from everyone. My wobbling exit from the landing zone told everyone what had happened. I limped for two days. I remembered to bring a cup the next time. And forgot to put it on.
This Robusto surprises me. The first half took 45 minutes to disappear. If the Gran Toro and Churchill are rolled this well, they will easily be 2-1/2 hour smokes.
Caramel becomes the dominant flavor in the second half. As well as roasted peanuts. There is no nicotine in play.
This is a special cigar.
There is no downside to this blend. It’s perfect. Flavors galore. Transitions to the bone. Richness, earthiness, complexity, and depth. Right to the nub. And while it is considered a full-strength cigar, it is tame and doable. No hallucinations or spins.
My sponsor Cigar Page is offering a one-week deal starting today. It’s part of the new Krazy Katman’s Bargain Basement that starts every Friday. Instead of paying $20 for a single cigar, the price ranges $12.00-$15.00 which is 25%-40% off. And your options are Robusto (5 x 52) or Gran Toro (6 x 54).
RATING: 98
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
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