Wrapper: Ecuadorian Dark Corojo
Binder: Ecuadorian Habano 2000
Filler: Dominican (3)
Size: 6 x 46 Corona Gorda
Strength: Medium
Price: $10.00
Factory: Kelner Boutique, Dominican Republic
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
The cigar industry runs on gimmicks. Fancy boxes, flashy cigar bands, incredible backstories about the owner’s relationship with his swashbuckling pirate great grandfather, and anything else that will help bring attention to their new product.
Principle Cigars is no different. Whether it is using 1940’s London bus tickets as cigar bands or wrapping a tenner with 1970’s men’s ties, they have a very creative marketing team.
This is my third stab at the Straphanger. My first cigar was a week after receipt, and I cursed myself for buying a fiver. My second cigar was a few days ago and my left eyebrow raised as I wondered where can I get more? But the third stick will tell all.
The wrapper has the expected floral fruitiness and very light on the peat moss. There’s also peanut shells, dark chocolate, and malt.
The diameter is slim, but my PerfecPunch is the man for the job. I get a tug on my nutsack dangling near my ankle. The PP whispers that it is non-binary and wishes I would refer to it as them or they. I smack it away and grab my Xikar guillotine.
The cold draw is strawberry lemonade, more peanut shells, lavender petals, light honey, malt, and a touch of white pepper.
The little dagger exhumes huge plumes of smoke from its slim core. This 6 x 46 vitola is the perfect size for my morning cigar and buckets of coffee.
The first half inch is less about the fillers and very much about the taste of the wrapper. We often concern ourselves more about the binder and filler than we do about the wrapper. The thin sheet of protective coating will get our initial attention, but our focus is elsewhere after a brief wink and a nod. The wrapper is the conductor of this orchestra. It guides its participants so that they don’t veer too far to the right or the left. In other words, a moderate they/them.
Strawberry lemonade continues thanks to the influence of the Ecuadorian wrapper. But while the balance is sweet heavy, this is by no means anything close to an infused flavor. Treacly sweet is usually the intro for novice smokers, but once our palate adjusts itself, we move on to the serious stuff.
A double-decker London bus might be crowded but once upstairs, there was plenty of room. But it was a pain in the ass because you had to navigate the narrow spiral staircase and the way those guys drove in heavy traffic, you took your life into your own hands. But it was a reliable and cheap way to get around town. One day, and I only did this once, instead of hailing a taxi, I took my bass onto a bus. There was no room downstairs, so the conductor hurriedly motioned me to go up top. I was halfway up when the 4-foot-long case got stuck. I could not move up or down. People were screaming at the furry Hippie. It took several people to help, and I restricted my obvious stupidity to other things in life.
The Straphanger takes its time. It is a smooth trip. No bass guitars hung up on the spiral staircase. The balance readjusts and is now 50/50 sweet v. savory. The fruitiness tamps down and allows notes of malt, earthiness, light citrus, mild baking spices, and toasted leather to come to the surface.
It was my 25th birthday and I was frying on acid. The large group of people that helped me celebrate this juncture were all standing outside The Marquee Club on Piccadilly Circus. It’s like Time Square…huge. It was 1am and everyone in that crowded club area wanted a taxi. We had no luck until I saw two black cabs on the opposite side of the giant roundabout and I screamed out one word: “TAXI.” To everyone’s surprise, the black conveyances slammed on their brakes, the drivers gave us the thumbs up (I think it was thumbs up) and drove straight for us. We piled in like it was the 1950’s craze of telephone booth cramming.
Generally, I like the offerings by Principle Cigars. I’ve reviewed 6 of their blends over the last two years. They go from the expensive foo foo blends (Aviator) to the everyday (Holiday Bauble).
After my second cigar, I decided I wanted another fiver. These are hard to find but lo and behold, you can purchase most of Principles’ cigars directly from their website. You can’t use promo codes, but on a $50 fiver, who cares about $5?
It’s an even steven flow. There are no sudden jerks (I heard that). Transitions are minimal. But it gains depth and prosperity. All I want from my morning smoke is the quality of ‘smooth.’
And as the first half slides into oblivion, I tell myself that the Kelner stamp is all over this blend.
If I see the name Kelner attached to a cigar, I buy it. It’s like the name Saka. I know that the blend will deliver. Not everything is a home run. The grandson, Klaas, started his own thriving concern. He has the knack like grandpappy. But his wares are more experimental and sometimes more interesting.
There were 7 of us in the crowded taxi. I was the only one frying. Copeland had convinced them to indulge at the end of the night, so they hadn’t even begun to feel the effects. So, what did these assholes do? They saw how out of network I was and they fucked with me. Lots of visuals that had me cowering. But I remember this: “You guys have no idea what you’re in for.” And I was right.
The second half is a stunner. The first half was full of intrigue, but it hadn’t landed on all fours yet. Now, the second half is full on doggie style. The blend widens its berth like a giant swan spreading its 12-foot wingspan. I’ve been chased by swans, so I know that dimension to be true.
This third cigar is doubling down on the positive experience I had with the second stick.
The Principle website is not consistent about this cigar’s ring gauge. Close…but on one page it’s 45 and on the sales page, it says 46. Small misnomer.
Citrus moves to the forefront along with a definitive creaminess. First impressions were that the blend might be a flavor bomb in the making. Just the opposite. The robust early flavors settle down and drive the bus on the left side of the road with precision. I cannot emphasize enough just how smooth the journey has become. To be honest, this blend feels more like a gateway for the more expensive Kelner cigars. Like sirens on the shore, it waves and cajoles. It wiggles its allure in front of you with seductive moves that capture your attention and respect.
We got back to my flat in West London. Within half an hour, all 20 people were flying high on LSD. I had my revenge on my cab mates. They wandered the huge apartment in a daze…laughing uncontrollably and only stopping because it surprised them more than their observers. I found myself alone in the living room staring at a rock n roll poster on the opposite wall. It bled, melted, moved in rhythm to the loud music, and it put a huge smile on my face. One girl, who was unmerciful with me in the taxi, wandered into the doorway and asked me with panicky tears in her eyes, “Is it always like this?” She had hoped for something comforting from me. Instead, I uttered the truth: “No. It’s not usually this good.” She screamed and ran for the young lads who were glad to help a pretty girl.
I did have one regret. As I sat on the couch, I developed a stomachache. I couldn’t tell if it was real or imagined but soon it became clear. I ran for the loo. There was no heat in this 300-year-old building. I sat in the tiny bathroom watching my breath materialize from the cold. I couldn’t go. Like becoming the golf ball in Caddyshack, I became my asshole. I focused and concentrated and soon after, I was free and clear. I returned to the group shenanigans and watched as the sun rise on a cold February morning. That evening was the start of Curved Air’s tour of England and Europe. The band was still feeling the effects of the LSD but played like the champs we were. 5 encores ensued. Meanwhile, the young men of Renaissance cancelled their opening gig because they were incandescent pussies who succumbed to the aftereffects of LSD. Ha.
This is an excellent cigar. Everything was achieved that was expected. Smooth and creamy to the end. Full of flavor and complexity. You can’t go wrong with this $10 cigar.
You can purchase the Straphanger directly from non-sponsor Principle Cigars.
RATING: 95
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Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS
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