I previously reviewed the Corona Doble. A 7 x 54 behemoth. I didn’t like it.
So it seemed only fair that I review a size that, in general, I like: Robusto. This smaller size has a chance of proving itself to me. As we all know, the smaller ones have an intense flavor profile.
So I deem it righteous to follow up this review with the raunchiest, dirtiest, (true) rock n roll story I have published. So if this makes you squeamish, don’t go any further than the end of the review. I’ve warned you.
The story of the UC is like so many other good cigars. The torecedores use leaves they like and roll their own cigars. Management frowns on this because they are using good leaves. So a cigar is born..from the leaves of the Liga Privada cigar.
The UC uses a lot of the same tobacco as the LP but is a mixture of different things such as the aging may be different or the location of the farm may be different or the leaves from the plant are different. Sort of a mish mosh. And Voila. So really, this cigar is not even close to being an LP.
Otapan Negro Ultimo Corte…now that is an interesting mouthful. It is a more refined strain of leaves that come from the San Andres leaves. Sort of kissin’ cousins.
The cigar made its debut at the 2011 IPCPR Trade Show. And never looked back. This is one of the most popular DE cigars out there.
It comes in six sizes: Robusto, Belicoso, Corona Doble, Corona Viva, Gordito and Gran Toro. So; 5 x 54, 6 x 52, 7 x 54, 5.6 x 46, 6 x 60 & 6 x 52. The prices average in the $8 range but can be higher.
Construction is beautiful with one of the oiliest wrappers I’ve seen. Some seams are visible and there are lots of spider veins. It has an excellent triple cap. And feels sandy and bumpy so lots of tooth. The cigar band is nice and simple.
I clip the cap and search for aromas….there is a big natural tobacco sweetness, some spice, hay, cocoa and nuts…with lots of lemon zest.
I should add that this cigar was a gift from a man who is able to allow all of his cigars to age to perfection. From six months to two years. This is in the middle of that time span so it should be interesting to see how the mellowing of age has affected it.
Time to light up.
The first puffs are nutty. And very toasty. Some natural sweetness. Black pepper shows up immediately. Which is something that didn’t happen on the 7 x 54. In fact, that cigar showed very little spice.
The draw is great and the char line is pretty good. Right away, I can tell this is going to be a more enjoyable experience than the felled Redwood log I smoked.
Cocoa becomes very apparent with a twinge of smooth latte coffee. A small bit of creaminess seems to be preparing itself for a larger dose soon.
The char line looks very good. So it is aesthetically pleasing to the eye and your friends.
My good friend, Wally Guse out of Arizona, says he can’t seem to train his palate to discover the hidden treasures a cigar can bring to the table. I suggested that he write down what a reviewer writes about a specific cigar and its flavor profile. Then, go into seclusion with that cigar and take notes of what you taste. And try to taste the same things the reviewer does. Do this over and over.
Now this cigar is going to be a one trick pony. I can sense it. So, Wally, this is the perfect cigar to try my method.
BTW- Wally is a fellow musician who still plays out today, and was once in the Mamas & Papas as a guitarist. And backup singer.
The first third is primarily OK. There is cocoa, some sweetness, the nuts have disappeared, and that lemony zest. It’s not a lot but is pleasant all the same. And Wally, those are the flavors in a descending order. Although, the sweetness and the cocoa change positions constantly.
The body is classic medium.
The citrus begins to fade as the second third begins. And the creaminess takes its place at the front of the line.
More of the same during this period. Nothing new has been added and I am surprised that the intensity of the flavor profile is not exploring bigger venues. The flavors are apparent; no question there. But they are not rising to the occasion. No oomph. And the body is still medium. Perfect cigar, Wally, my friend.
I hit the halfway point and the creaminess seems to be dilapidated. It started strong and then wilted. The cocoa and sweetness are the main flavors, and almost the only ones. Although, to be fair, there is a nice earthiness.
The cigar is far from complex. The balance is so-so. And it does not, repeat, does not have a long finish. I bet the Drew Estate torecedores are laughing at this cigar, saying: “This ain’t what we blended!”
The second third begins to wane. There has been no change to the flavor profile. The flavors of creaminess, cocoa and sweetness are muted. Everything else is gone. It is not an unpleasant cigar. But why the hell do people go nuts over this cigar? I know. It is the mysterious Drew Estate PR Machine at work. Think of Dracula gesticulating his hands towards you in a hypnotic fashion telling you that you will love these cigars.
I don’t love this cigar. It is just OK. Not worth the $7. That’s for sure. There are some great $4 and $5 sticks out there that are much better.
To its benefit, the burn line does not give me a lick of trouble throughout the cigar. And the cap stays nicely put without any loose crap.
I thought by now, that the strength would hit full. But it remains at medium.
I really expected this cigar to become a flavor bomb. It never does. It just mopes along with the same limp flavor profile. So now, I have a clear conscience about giving the 7 x 54 version a less than stellar review. This robusto was better, but not much.
And now for something completely different. And how:
The band had a female singer. And during the first 7 week tour, they made us share a room with a band mate. Cheap bastardos! The girl asked to stay with me. So for 7 weeks, we shared a bed.
Now this chick was no stranger to sex. She also had a monkey on her back off and on for years. She was in a big musical and was known to jerk the actors’ dicks to get them hard for the nude scene. She was also known, and while the band told me this, I didn’t quite believe the numbers, that she gave something like a couple dozen blow jobs to get a fix of dope for the night. Maybe a few, but 25? Probably not.
I learned quickly, she was a sexual beast. Always in lust and also loved chicks.
The first night, after the gig, we retired and she jumped on me like a leopard on a wildebeest. She ripped me a new one.
And then after several hours of fucking, she whispered into my tired ear, that, “You know…you can do anything you want with me…purrrrrr.”
Now I thought to myself: “Self- What is there left to do to her? I have done everything imaginable in those hours of screwing and I exhausted my repertoire. Since I had chosen music for my career long before this band, I was no stranger to being a hound dog.
I was a little on the intimidated side being in such a big band and being in bed with a woman who was titled the sexiest rock singer in Europe. So instead of just asking her what is it she wants me to do, I rolled over and went to sleep only to be awakened an hour later with her on top of me riding me like a wild stallion.
At breakfast the next morning, I looked like hell. My band mates took one look at me and laughed hard. They knew what happened to the new guy.
A few minutes into breakfast, the drummer said, “Shut up! Listen. What is that buzzing noise?”
He followed the sound to the chick’s lap where she sat quietly with a smirk on her face.
The drummer yelled for all the restaurant to hear, “She has a dildo inside of her!!!”
The chick never made a sound. She didn’t care if anyone knew. I leaned over and could hear it too. Oh for chrissakes.
What have I gotten myself into?
The next night is déjà vu all over again. This time I ask her what is it that I am not doing to her during sex. She asks me if I want her to pee on me.
WHAT THE FUCK!!
So she quietly gets up, goes to the sink, sits on top of it and pees into it. With a toilet right next to her, she pees in the sink. I jump up and yell at her. I quickly turn the tap on so at least water can help flush the piss down the sink. I ask her what is wrong with her.
She just smiles and crawls back into bed where she proceeds to give me one of the best blow jobs I’ve ever had.
From that day forward, she gave me blow jobs everywhere. You name it. Even off stage while the drummer played the obligatory 20 minute solo….that’s when the audience gets up and goes to the loo. Or buys another beer.
She would blow me right in front of everyone back stage. This chick didn’t give a shit.
One night, she brought another chick to bed with us. A Playboy bunny from the Playboy Club in London. The singer once worked there herself serving drinks with that little bunny tail.
Big disappointment that night as they concentrated on each other and I seemed to be just a horny bystander. I finally lay down on the bed next to them and tried to sleep. Only to be awakened later by both of them taking turns blowing me. So the night wasn’t a total loss.
Fortunately, the chick had a thing for the drummer and the next tour, they shacked up together. And I was stuck with the guitarist who only showered on Saturdays. Really.
The band made fun of me for showering every day. Yes. A full car of my band mates with the windows closed was a human aberration and should have been reported to The Hague for trial.
There is a lot more but I think you get the picture.
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS