Warped The Devil’s Hands | Cigar Reviews by the Katman

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Jalapa Corojo ’99 Shade Grown
Binder: Nicaraguan Criollo ’98
Filler: Nicaragua Criollo ’98 and Corojo ’99
Size: 6 x 44
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $11.00

My cigars have had 4 months of naked humidor time.

From the Warped Cigars website:
“Inspired from an early brand idea of our founder, Kyle Gellis®, and brought to life in 2021. This Nicaraguan Puro hails from Esteli comprising solely of tobacco from Aganorsa Leaf. The main components are from their most prized and regarded farms in Esteli, while the cover leaf is Shade Grown Corojo ’99 from Jalapa.”

First thing I notice is the pungent aroma of cinnamon from the wrapper denuding itself. Plus a touch of vanilla, milk chocolate, nuts, and cedar.

The draw is non-existent. No air is flowing to my giant fish mouth. I grab my PerfecDraw draw adjustment tool and find the plug in the usual spot located below the cigar band. Good to go.

For such a small cigar, the thing is pumping out smoke like a hazy day in Pittsburgh.

A few puffs in, black pepper stakes its claim with a flag planted in the back of my throat. Cinnamon adds to the spicy attack. Creaminess follows with a vanilla ice cream angle.

Raw sweet cashews step up to the plate next. A nicely well-rounded stash of complexity jumps in at ¾’ burned.

Savory v. sweet becomes a 50/50 balance early on. Nice.

The cigar has been out for a while, and I found only one review. This made me reluctant to review the stick, but I thought, why the hell not…It gets me out of my iron lung for a couple of hours.

Strength is medium.

The construction is on point and the char line is spot on. Golf clap to the expert rollers.

Sweet paprika tingles my tongue. So does the addition of red pepper.

The finish encompasses the spicy and the sweet. Transitions are slow to roll. But the depth is singing “We Can Work It Out.” Once again, I applaud the construction as this Lonsdale takes its time and is in no hurry to leap to its death in my ashtray.

Creaminess surges and my loins feel the heat. (I don’t know what that means either).

The savory collection is those warm cashews, a smoky meatiness, and oatmeal.

The price point is realistic. But with my sponsors (Atlantic Cigar and Small Batch Cigar), the price is $10 rather than $11. These days, that’s a reasonable go-to cigar price. I remember how shocking it was in 2014 when I reviewed The Collective by Ezra Zion that was a $10 stick. Great cigar but I thought it was expensive. Times change. So does the economy.

Depth and complexity slam my palate at 1-1/2” gone. The flavor spreads out like a Chinese fan. The spectrum of nuances opens like a hooker on your 40th birthday.

The four months of humi time did a nice job of allowing this cigar to feel its oats. More time will be even better. That might be the reason for a lack of reviews. But the good news is that this cigar appears to be a regular production blend as every online cigar store is selling them. I’ve always liked Warped cigars. Kyle finds passion in his blending style.

The song, “Sunny” by Bobby Hebb is in my pods. 1966 release. My old friend, John Turner, would come over to my parent’s house in high school with his clarinet. I played my bass guitar and we would always warm up on “Sunny.” We’d do a few Beatles’ songs and then the eventual turn to Dixieland. I still have a couple cassettes of us playing together. We made the oddity of just clarinet and bass work. John now suffers from PTSD that originated from his time as a corpsman for the Marines in Vietnam.

The night before John left for boot camp, he had a big party at his mom’s house. The party went on late into the night and a couple of us decided that we had to do something to keep him from going. He lay on the floor in the living room while we kept slamming a heavy glass ashtray on his outstretched arm. After a few blows, he screamed, “You’re not breaking it…you’re just hurting me.” We stopped and that morning he left for boot.

The strength hits medium/full at 2-1/2” burned. This cigar is going to last a possible 90 minutes. Quite the feat for a Lonsdale.

I plan on allowing my other sticks to marinate for another 3-4 months and then re-visit them.

I left out the best part of John’s story. He went to the Army recruiting station and auditioned for the Army Band on clarinet. He got the gig. But he was told that he’d go straight to Vietnam to play for the troops. John didn’t want to go. So, he went to the Navy recruiting station figuring he’d get the same gig. But instead of auditioning, he joined up and then told them he wanted to be in the Navy Band. He was told they didn’t need no stinkin’ clarinet players. He became a corpsman instead…and then straight to Nam.

The Devil’s Hands is a relaxing cigar. The strength is bold and threatening but it is smooth and complex. Some nicotine enters but does not take me down. Instead, the cigar hits a major sweet spot. I love a cigar that starts at point A and travels to point B gaining momentum in its character. It just keeps on chooglin’.

“Love Train” by The O’Jays. Brings back sweet memories of my youth.

The black pepper recedes and allows the cinnamon to ride point in this delicious wagon train. The nuttiness and sweet leaves merge like Ozzie and Harriet.

As anyone that reads my reviews knows I can’t just write a couple paragraphs. Once I’m in ‘go’ mode, I can’t stop myself. It’s been a source of comfort to convey my feelings about a blend while injecting tangential crazy stuff. It is one of those things that allows me to live in the moment and all distractions melt away. But you knew this…

At 3-1/2” burned, the cigar is just crazy delicious. It has a natural warmth of character. A beautiful depth that my palate craves.

This cigar is quite different than other Warped blends I’ve smoked. And that’s a good thing to see diversity.

Oh man…the cigar just explodes with complexity. Strength hits the ceiling. I don’t care. This blend is so complete in its design that no threat of passing out will stop me from finishing it.

Sophisticated cigar smokers will be delighted with this cigar. But extended humidor time is essential.

I believe you got the message about my thoughts on this great cigar…so, I’m going to stop annoying you now and just kick back and finish the cigar in calm.

Please give your business to my sponsors Atlantic Cigar and Small Batch Cigar…10% off with promo code ‘katman’ for SBC.



Tags: , , , , , , ,