Wrapper: Dominican Rosado Oscuro
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 5.125 x 43 Corona
Strength: Full
Price: $16.00 in 2015 ~ $34.00-$45.00 in 2024 Pirates everywhere.

This cigar, which I purchased, received 4 months of naked humidor time. Plus, it has 9 years of box aging.
Does the famed Opus X survive extreme hibernation?

THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Dr. Rod is on vacation in Ireland. My PerfecDraw is River Dancing with Michael Flatley. Never seen the damn thing move its little feet like this. Damn. What? Your PD tool doesn’t have pedes? You didn’t upgrade to the PerfecDraw Deluxe. Insert your Yubikey. The password is swordfish. Chant ‘Hunga Dunga’ 4 times. Give Rod $673.00. Sing the entire catalog of duets by Irving Berlin and Moe Howard. That’s it. So simple. Your PD tool doing the Macarena is extra…but wait, there’s more…For another $1799.99, Rod comes to your home and will whiten two teeth of your choosing. Airfare not included.

I forget why I’m here. Right. To serve my brethren.

Lawdy…the aromas. Peach, chocolate, spicy peppers, and only slight barnyard.

It seems that this is my week of blind taste testing. Hit or miss doesn’t scare me. I take Vitameatavegamin daily. Makes me unpoopular.

First puffs. Gloriosky Bullwinkle. I’ve soiled myself…again. Far reaching flavors that provide an unrealistic sense of well-being.

Most cigars don’t survive extended humidor time. They become listless or just don’t see themselves as pretty girls. This cigar is giving me a boner this big.

I should stop here and just face plant my rating of 100. No point in making my readers suffer. You poor babies.

I channel up to the Chris Stapleton station. And the cigar goes out. Next time I tell you to buy the $500 collection of Fuente cigars, fucking listen to me. Andrew just nailed it. A few were duds but this group of very difficult assemblage of cigars was a mastery of perfection on steroids. Your kid doesn’t need to go to college. Look at cigar reviewers.

Easy going array of spicy peppers, dark chocolate, black cherry, vanilla custard, extreme cinnamon, piquant dried apricot, candied lemon rind, pumpkin seeds, Dominican dirt, and raw cashews. The profile is canonized in the first half inch. Didn’t need the flavor wheel as a prompt.

Strength is medium/full.

I saw some written reviews. Median score was 90. They didn’t have this marginally well aged cigar. You just can’t believe anything we reviewers write. We are all a bunch of idiots…me included. I mean…what the fuck.

The creaminess is balanced. This is usually not the case. This thing of ours is normally large and unwieldly. 100 years from now, we might have Taste-O-Vision. I hope so.

Complexity. Wildly undun. A 16-point stag. A wild boar made mostly of bacon. Caviar that doesn’t smell. Relatives that always know when to leave. Doctors that never misdiagnose. A bidet you can drink from.

1-1/2” in. Such a beautiful slow roll. 25 minutes. How did this diminutive cigar survive so much time captured.

By far, the best OpusX I’ve ever smoked. My boner has collapsed into a pile of ash. Dancing hippos on the horizon. A mouse with a wizard’s hat. A spinning teacup filled with barf and unworn personalized rodent hats.

Friends galore worked part time at D-Land during our high school years. I had a mustache so they wouldn’t hire me. Behind the employee walls with a friend, I watched as a character took his 20 minutes-off period and puked his brains out in a large trash can. Hot summer days and being pummeled in the nuts by children took its toll.

I remove the cigar band with aplomb.

Strength rockets to full tilt at 2-1/2” burned. Yikes. Now I’m having fun. My vision blurs. My sequins are set afire. My dingus mcgee is lighter than air. Striped Djellabas fan out.

I only have one of these. Goddammit. I can’t believe I wasted it on a review. But I still have half to go. Blunderbuss to the mouth won’t be needed. Peace train.

Cigar manufacturers are charging $50 for a cigar in 2024. Fuck no they’re not worth it. This OpusX is worth it because it is a unicorn experience. You get something like this maybe a few times in your life. I don’t envy cigar reviewers that took a swipe at this blend and never reaped the whirlwind I got in my hand.

I reverse engineer the cigar. It grows back. The acid wears off.

I miss hallucinating. It was so much fun. You had to do it with a group of friends. Being in the high desert of SoCal was a perfect landing zone. I miss being young. Now…I feel dangerous if I have 2-1/2 cups of coffee.

Flavors…I don’t need no stinkin’ flavors. I have rich desires which a cigar sings to me with undying grandeur. A complex point in time that is transitory and ridiculously splendid in all things that matter in the universe. We aren’t here for a long time, we’re here for a good time. Live by that, and you’ll be OK.

Coffee sip.

Without cigars, life becomes flat. Do you know what you’ve got? Yes, you do. We are a special few. This is so rarely spoken of. I came close to becoming a member of a private cigar club here in Milwaukee. Until I found out there are levels of membership. A caste system. I said no thanks.

I’ll never read this review again.

This is a pegacorn of a cigar. You can find almost any OpusX blend sold by privateers who are lined up to ass fuck your wallet. If you have more discretionary money than you know what to do with, go for it. But I’m not going to recommend these sellers to my readers. If you personally know about a pirate that cannot be trusted, either by price or possible fake originals…or if you know where this cigar can be reliably purchased, please comment below. We all thank you.

RATING: 110

Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS

Tags: arturo fuente cigars, Arturo Fuente Opus X Rosado Oro Oscuro Perfecxion No.4 | Cigar Reviews by the Katman, cigar reviews, cigar reviews by the katman, cigars, katman, opusx, phil kohn